feels like I really need a change

Optimusprime7

You need to speak to your partner and tell her, she could be feeling the same way and agrees it may be time to put an end to your relationship. You're clearly not happy and would regret it if you stayed with her, hoping one day you fall in love. There may be screaming and tears when you bring this up but when you look back you'll know it was the right thing to do.
You've only got one life and we should do what makes us happy.

SandC

Going by what you have written I would say it's time to gently call an end to your relationship and go your separate ways. I'm not so sure that going to Australia is the right move, however with the finances you have behind you and the fact that you are a passport holder it wouldn't be the end of the world if it didn't work out.

I just say that because travelling before turned out to be so underwhelming for you. Mind you, this in itself is mainly what tells me that your relationship has come to an end - if that break from each other didn't cement things then really what will?

You are far from having to feel that you are not stepping up to the plate in terms of doing your bit and settling down. I think you need to be on your own, enjoy yourself a bit, have fun and see what happens.

You don't owe it to anyone to stay with them, there are no children, you are not married, you have to do what is right for you.

Truth be told yours is not a situation where I would advise you to consider that the grass is not greener as you don't once mention meeting someone else in the future or missing out on the real love of your life which I think shows a really healthy attitude.

CC-Warrior

Some really good advice given on this thread, don't end up like all the other unhappy couples staying together just for convenience.

GoldenShadow

Your relationship sounds very much how my OH's relationship with his ex ended after four years (not that she cleaned or contributed to many bills though, he said!). I wouldn't say go for it on the travelling front because I'm not sure if it will help you achieve anything, only you know that really. Definitely get out of the relationship though, cut the ties you have and move on. Its not fair on either of you.

Buzzybee90

Have you spoken about marriage & children then, at your age I'd assume so.

Life is monotonous though if you can say you don't love someone you've spent the past four years with then it's time to let her down gently.

PlymouthMaid

I think you need to break loose from your life or you may end up resentful and full of regret. I also think that it would be terribly unfair to your girlfriend to stumble on for a few more years and then leave if nothing changes as she may well have a loudly ticking biological clock by then. Give the girl time to build a new life. She will doubtless be very upset but it will be best in the long run if you cannot see a future together.

lookback

thank you very much for all your wonderful replies. i have to admit, reading a few of the replied has made me realise I unhappy I am. I think I kind of just plodded along before not giving it much thought until recently.
I don't think I am medically depressed (well at least I hope not) as I don't show the other symptoms like I am not suicidal or suffering from lack of sleep, binge eating or drinking I just feel really low sometimes but than I try to think of something light hearted or watch some funny video on youtube which seems to do the trick (I get easily distracted). I would be a bit embarrassed to see the doctor as I think they might just laugh in my face and say what the hell I am depressed about).

I know the right thing to do is for me to break it off with my partner but I am really really scared of being alone. I really hate being alone an am worried I will end up alone. I would rather settle for someone I care about and not love, rather than being alone. Is that pathetic? Its probably obvious but I have not had much experience with women and this is my first relationship. In saying that, I am planning to have the talk with the missus sometime next week and also planning to hand in my resignation then.

Sorry I should have explain, I kind of enjoy travelling. Well maybe not travelling but living abroad. I have live, worked and studied abroad before and found it really fun and to be out my comfort zone and make a new home and new friends. I also went backpacking for a few months and didn't not enjoy it. I did not enjoy living on a budget, constantly moving and just the feeling of being unsettled, unclean and not having a routine (fairly ironic hey considering the title of this thread is i need a change). but that is the reason I think I might like to study in Australia. I should also say I have been working really hard for the past few years and feel a bit run down from work which might also be the reason for me being low.

SandC

You will never get the chance to meet the potential love of your life if you stay in a relationship through fear of being alone.

What's more scary? The thought of this being 'it' so far as love and companionship goes forever, or letting loose on your own and getting some new experiences under your belt?

lookback

SandC wrote: »

You will never get the chance to meet the potential love of your life if you stay in a relationship through fear of being alone.

What's more scary? The thought of this being 'it' so far as love and companionship goes forever, or letting loose on your own and getting some new experiences under your belt?

that is true. i never considered the situation that way before

geoffky

You owe it to her to settle this once and for all....
If you go traveling for any amount of time be prepared to never be the same person you was..
It changes so much...