Why do people take the Mick?

Cade_Foster

It is causing stress to the Op so not sure they areenjoying thier time, would you want to be invited out for a meal where you are expected to pay for everyone else.

Gigervamp

Obviously not. Not many people would. But other than OP's family taking the pi55 where money is concerned, OP might have a good relationship with them.

OP just needs to let them know that she's no longer willing to pay for everybody and then she can go back to enjoying meals out with them.

sulphate

I agree with the other posters. Next time you go out with your family, tell that you are not going to be picking up the bill for them and you will only be paying for yourselves. You obviously enjoy going and spending time with them (otherwise you wouldn't go?).

As for lending money. I learnt this lesson a long time ago: never, ever loan money that you expect back. Tell your brother/mum "Hey so I just remembered you owe me £xxx, next time you get paid can you pay me back? I need to pay for xxx by xxx date so I need it by then please." Give them a deadline.

You need to be more assertive and address the issue, not run away from it, otherwise this is just going to come up again in your life somehow.

rachy182

Next time I think you should pay your share of the bill and then make a quick exit that way they cant guilt you into paying if they have no money. If they truly have not brought any money with them then that will be their own problem and not yours.

hazyjo

rachy182 wrote: »

Next time I think you should pay your share of the bill and then make a quick exit that way they cant guilt you into paying if they have no money. If they truly have not brought any money with them then that will be their own problem and not yours.

That's always a good option. If lunch, say at the beginning you need to rush off quite soon after eating as you're meeting X in the afternoon. If evening, say near when the bill's coming OMG I think I left my straighteners on/the cat locked in a room/the car inside light on/the iron on... anything. Leave your cash on the table, make your apologies, and go.

Mind you, it's not exactly solving the problem, and you can't do that every month

I'd say in advance 'found a set menu for say £15 a head, is that okay with everyone?' If you want to add 'I'm brassick at the moment, so can only really afford £15 and my share of drinks' then do so. No misinterpretations then. Even better if you can email all of them. Let your mum know too so she won't be guilt tripped into paying for everyone!

Jx

barba

PenguinOfDeath wrote: »

When the bill come for the next family meal, pick it up and be the first to say, 'right, I had the soup and steak so mines £30, there you go' and pass the bill to the next person

£30 for soup and steak. Where do you eat?

Hermia

rachy182 wrote: »

Next time I think you should pay your share of the bill and then make a quick exit that way they cant guilt you into paying if they have no money. If they truly have not brought any money with them then that will be their own problem and not yours.

Surely it would be easier to just ask for separate bills? When I have had a nice dinner I don't want to be running out of the restaurant afterwards! The OP can just pay her bill and give her own tip and say that's all the money she has on her. Face it, if the relatives end up having to deal with the manager in front of all the other diners they won't be doing it again!