Do Sick People WANT to Get Better?

SmallL

I'd love to get rid of my Eczema, its a poorly understood condition with the majority believing its just ' a bit itchy'. The truth is it has affected every aspect of my life, I'm 22 and in my first job and its severely affecting my ability to do my job (and visa versa, my job is flaring my eczema).
I'm at the end of the line for treatment and also at the end of my tether!

Mojisola

Cloudydaze wrote: »

It is a bizarre question to ask but after watching my lovely active, athletic, energetic friend get struck down with ME, I often got the feeling that she took on the role of 'the sick person' far too easily.

It didn't help that she moved back in with her parents who wrapped her up in cotton wool. I know it sounds that I'm lacking understanding and compassion but it was so frustrating watching someone who was once so full of life essentially give up.

In contrast, a guy I used to work with became a paraplegic after a freak accident. He is a complete inspiration and refuses to accept his fate and is fighting all the way to make the best of what he has. He refuses to let his limitations stop him.

The difference being that if your friend with ME "fought all the way", she would get even sicker.

lostinrates

Cloudydaze wrote: »

It is a bizarre question to ask but after watching my lovely active, athletic, energetic friend get struck down with ME, I often got the feeling that she took on the role of 'the sick person' far too easily.

It didn't help that she moved back in with her parents who wrapped her up in cotton wool. I know it sounds that I'm lacking understanding and compassion but it was so frustrating watching someone who was once so full of life essentially give up.

In contrast, a guy I used to work with became a paraplegic after a freak accident. He is a complete inspiration and refuses to accept his fate and is fighting all the way to make the best of what he has. He refuses to let his limitations stop him.

I do not have ME /fibro but early on in my illness /recovery it was suggested I might have it.

If it can be passed for what I went through then its pretty all consuming and I have pity for any one who suffers it. I became totally unable to care for myself and even attend to my most basic needs.

I have to admit, I was relieved when a different diagnosis came as ME felt too ' up in the air' regarding treatment, despite being much more common than what I have.

Recently it was raised again I might have developed ME. Since then a different consultant has found out I have something else wrong which points to a different diagnosis.

I think 'invisible" illnesses have tremendous disadvantage in the way one is viewed. I often appear absolutely 100 percent well. It belies the fact I have been alive well over five years longer than I was meant to be, and that I have newly arising problems all the time. On the other hand, the invisible illnesses, some are the easiest to 'opt out' by exaggerating or faking, and this makes life for real sufferers even more stigmatised.

I don't talk about my health in real life very often, it carries such huge stigma. Most people must think I am just an odd bod who sometimes limps and doesn't get out much. .

Bennifred

Do sick people want to get better?
Well THIS sick person does! I have primary progressive multiple sclerosis, and I am about to pay a lot of money to go abroad for a treatment which isn't offered in this country (for this condition - you can get it for other things :mad:), in the hope and expectation that the ms progression is halted. It will be a bonus if I do get better.

Cloudydaze

lostinrates wrote: »

On the other hand, the invisible illnesses, some are the easiest to 'opt out' by exaggerating or faking, and this makes life for real sufferers even more stigmatised.

I never once thought my friend was exaggerating or faking but it was just so frustrating to watch someone I cared about be so accepting and essentially give up.


10 years later, my friend has improved enough to move out of her parents and now has a part time job.


LIR - I hope things improve for you soon.

janiebquick

I don't think it's a strange question at all.

You would think that most people would want to get better. I certainly do; I have rheumatoid arthritis and breast cancer and I don't want either of them, thnak you very much.

However, I do think there are people who 'enjoy' illness. They use it as a weapon against the world. My mother certainly did that - taking to her bed if we displeased her and blaming us if her illness worsened, and this was an intelligent woman who was a deputy head in a secondary school. There are also those who love the sick role and the attention they get from it. If you think that is ridiculous - think of Munchausen's syndrome.

Plus, in our welfare state, i have no doubt that there are some inadequate individuals who make being ill their profession. They know they will only get a menial job at the minimum wage, so stay ill because it at least pays the bills.

~Chameleon~

Whether I want to or not I will never "get better" from my illness and I will be on medication for the rest of my life. However, I can, and have, learnt to manage it better although there will always be times when it becomes completely out of my control and will require medical intervention.

lostinrates

Cloudydaze wrote: »

I never once thought my friend was exaggerating or faking but it was just so frustrating to watch someone I cared about be so accepting and essentially give up.


10 years later, my friend has improved enough to move out of her parents and now has a part time job.


LIR - I hope things improve for you soon.

Thank you.

I for the first time feel pretty close to giving up myself. These all consuming things that attack lots of bits of you are pretty depleting. Its hard to understand giving up till you feel like it I guess!

Mojisola

Cloudydaze wrote: »

I never once thought my friend was exaggerating or faking but it was just so frustrating to watch someone I cared about be so accepting and essentially give up.

10 years later, my friend has improved enough to move out of her parents and now has a part time job.

So by giving her body time to heal she is making progress and is getting better - she obviously understands ME a lot better than you do.

lostinrates

janiebquick wrote: »

I don't think it's a strange question at all.

You would think that most people would want to get better. I certainly do; I have rheumatoid arthritis and breast cancer and I don't want either of them, thnak you very much.

However, I do think there are people who 'enjoy' illness. They use it as a weapon against the world. My mother certainly did that - taking to her bed if we displeased her and blaming us if her illness worsened, and this was an intelligent woman who was a deputy head in a secondary school. There are also those who love the sick role and the attention they get from it. If you think that is ridiculous - think of Munchausen's syndrome.

Plus, in our welfare state, i have no doubt that there are some inadequate individuals who make being ill their profession. They know they will only get a menial job at the minimum wage, so stay ill because it at least pays the bills.

Forgive me I want to interject. Some of the myriad of conditions I have are very rare, and the forums are international rather than national. This inevitably means those from countries with a welfare state like ours are less in number.

The same thing happens exactly in America and other places where support is seen as lesser.