Graduation - Did you go?

saidan

i went to mine.......with dh, my dearest friend and my aunt

my mum was not invited as she had never asked me in the 3 years how the course was going or seemed to care about my achievement - she complained behind my back but hey ho......

i got a First - as did 3 others in my class of 180 :T
i now have the dilema of whether to attend for my masters graduation - 3 kids in tow now who will not be able to sit still for long.......but its been a slog and dh says we should celerate...........not sure what to do :cool:

Savvy_Sue

saidan wrote: »

i now have the dilema of whether to attend for my masters graduation - 3 kids in tow now who will not be able to sit still for long.......but its been a slog and dh says we should celerate...........not sure what to do :cool:

DS3's uni website says not to take children or babies as it is a formal occasion. Depends on their age, I guess, but I wouldn't make them sit through a long ceremony, even if your DH took them to the overflow hall where they're showing it on a screen (I presume most places offer this!)

Could you take a friend who would take them off somewhere during the actual ceremony, then get together afterwards?

But there are other ways to celebrate, aren't there?

marywooyeah

saidan wrote: »

i got a First - as did 3 others in my class of 180 :T
i now have the dilema of whether to attend for my masters graduation - 3 kids in tow now who will not be able to sit still for long.......but its been a slog and dh says we should celerate...........not sure what to do :cool:

that's amazing you should definitely go to your masters ceremony - that's a huge achievement in itself especially if you've been raising three kids at the same time!

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

DS3's uni website says not to take children or babies as it is a formal occasion. Depends on their age, I guess, but I wouldn't make them sit through a long ceremony, even if your DH took them to the overflow hall where they're showing it on a screen (I presume most places offer this!)

Could you take a friend who would take them off somewhere during the actual ceremony, then get together afterwards?

But there are other ways to celebrate, aren't there?

^^^^ this - the ceremonies take ages, could OH go with you and then you all meet with the kids for photos and a meal after? x

pablakeman

onlyroz wrote: »

OK so you *need* a 2:1 to progress with your future plans and you know that if you work hard you are likely to get one. If you ended up with a 2:2 and found out that you missed the 2:1 by a narrow margin wouldn't you be upset and disappointed? Wouldn't you beat yourself up a bit that you'd then have to make other plans for your future?

Nobody is saying that a 2:1 is a "bad" degree, but everybody has the right to feel upset and disappointed if they don't meet their self-imposed targets.

Why would I beat myself up about it? I already have alternative plans in place for if I get a 2:2. Obviously I would be disappointed, but not the extent that I would feel I haven't achieved anything and that I would get really upset at the ceremony, were I to go to it.

Can't read peoples mind either unfortunately, so don't know about pregnancies and what-nots. My original point is that if you do badly, you need to get over it and move on, which marywooyeah has done. I hate seeing an extremely negative attitude, which is what marywooyeah displayed, so I made my feelings clear. Not sure what is so wrong with that.

I would say to any student :- Yes have plans for what you want to do. Yes work as hard as you can to do it. But don't pin your life's hopes and dreams on it and have back-up plans just in case. This is common sense to most people, and prevents drama etc...

Also, beating yourself up over something that can't be changed is just silly.

pablakeman

marywooyeah wrote: »

Your two posts that I've quoted completely contradict each other.

You've said that I'm allowing something I can't change to rule my life. That's not the case at all; I've certainly never said that my degree classfication is "ruling my life", I've said that I was very disappointed with my grade and it didn't feel like an achievement.

I saw that the only way round it was to get an additional qualification, which I've done at my cost whilst working fulltime and being pregnant so I've clearly actively taken steps to overcome the grade. That's certainly not the attitude of someone living in the past and allowing something to rule their life is it?!

So actually, your comments are not only rude and un-necessary, they're also completely inaccurate and judgmental, despite the fact that you go on yourself to admit that it's not your place to judge me.

I think you should be careful to read things properly in the future, especially as you said yourself that you hadn't read all the posts before commenting.

As I said before, good luck with the rest of your degree and your placement.

You need to reread your first few posts I think to see how they came across.

Georgiegirl256

pablakeman wrote: »

You need to reread your first few posts I think to see how they came across.

I agree. Calling a perfectly acceptable result "shi**y" probably wasn't the best move tbh.

I can understand people feeling disappointed that they missed a higher grade by only a few points, but it came across as disrespectful to those who have worked their butts off to get that result.

saidan

thanks savvy & mary......it was a slog

it would be tricky to find a babysitter unless during schooltime.......hadn't thought about there being a separate room so can consider that.....or doing something completely different....will have to put the thinking cap on

Savvy_Sue

saidan wrote: »

hadn't thought about there being a separate room so can consider that.....or doing something completely different....will have to put the thinking cap on

Well, I don't think there was an overflow screening when I graduated, but that was a few decades ago :eek: and I know that both Warwick and Bristol do, because space is so limited - each graduate gets two tickets, and then if you want more you queue on the day and may or may not get any. But they do screen it elsewhere for anyone who doesn't get in.

I'd be surprised if you couldn't find details on your Uni website, even if not for your specific ceremony they tend to have a formula which they use each time.

elsamum27

I hated just about every moment of uni. But I survived. For the days over graduation I was busy looking for jobs, keeping the shop job I'd got, and couldn't give a stuff about celebrating my degree. My divorced parents wouldn't have been a problem, but the step parents would have been (esp stepmother). I couldn't afford the show, didn't want it, and my parents didn't argue. We celebrated when I got my proper job, and moved out with my fiance. I have never regretted not having "that" photo - I've got the certificate instead.
Be true to yourself. Now is the time to start pointing out you are grown up and separate from your parents. If you want to celebrate, enjoy it. If you don't, let everyone move on from the issue.
Good luck

manatees

I went to mine, even though I didn't particularly enjoy uni, wasn't graduating with anyone I knew and was (at the time) really disappointed with my result. It was far from the best day ever, but I had a good time with my family and we got some really nice non-professional pictures. It wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world if I hadn't gone, but I'm glad I did.

As for the grade discussion, I definitely felt like a failure when I got a 2:1. I'd had straight As all through school, and after some minor problems in second year I worked really hard to get my mark up. I ended up literally as close to a first as it was possible to be without getting one, and cried for hours when I found out. It wasn't that I thought a 2:1 was a bad mark, it was that I knew I was capable of better. And I felt like all the effort I'd put in was a waste - if I was going to get a 2:1 anyway I could have put less effort in and enjoyed myself a bit more.

After graduating, the university called me to tell me they were raising my grade to a first - having looked at the (very complicated) maths, they realised that some people had actually done worse than me and yet still got a first. While this did make me feel better, it wasn't just about not feeling like a failure (it's not like I did any better, it was only the perception of my performance that had changed). But it's also had a huge impact on my life. I'm currently being paid to do my Master's, which almost certainly wouldn't have happened if the university hadn't changed its decision. A couple of marks on a single assignment can be all that separates two grades, so in some fields a couple of marks can dramatically change your career path.

I'll definitely be attending my Master's graduation. This year feels like a huge accomplishment, and like I've done way more than was ever expected of me. I want to celebrate that.