Graduation - Did you go?

pablakeman

marywooyeah wrote: »

At our uni you needed 3 70s in your final year to get a first - I got a 74 and 2 68s. The difference between the two 68s and the 70s needed cost me the degree, so it was four marks off a first overall.


They changed the grade boundaries the year before so you could only get certain grades - eg you could get a 64 or a 66, but not a 65. Ironically it was apparently supposed to be so that more people could get firsts lol!

A 2:1 doesn't feel like any form of achievement to me now, it just feels like I worked myself into the ground for four years for nothing and I've had to fund a post grad course to even try and get anywhere now. It really is very disappointing

You raise a good point re the OP's parents involvement - OP what level of support have your parents giving you throughout your degree? x

I haven't read past this, but what sort of life are you looking for that a 2:1 isn't an achievement? Your post has really bothered me.

I got 54 in my 2nd year. However, KPMG offered me a graduate position with a 2:1 requirement (thus implying an achievement no?) and last semester I got a 65 average, and am looking at getting higher. (My final year is worth 80%°

Yes I should have worked harder in my 2nd year, but a 2:1 is an achievement for anybody. It gets you onto most grad schemes, and it shows you haven't just dossed about.

I haven't made myself too clear but why do you think you are a failure? Is it because you are looking to go into a certain career or are you comparing yourself to others? Either way it is worrying

Billie-S

studentuk1 wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies.

I mentioned this again to my mother tonight, stated I had no interest in going because X Y Z reasons, and her response was basically "tough, you're going". After advising her I was an adult and would be making my own decision, she got quite narky.

For me, I think this issue has become more than just the graduation. It's pushing me to start looking for somewhere else to live (currently living at my mums), which in turn may help my mother realise I'm no longer a child and that she can no longer dictate what I shall be doing.

Maybe I'm completely out of order, and I owe it to her to give her the graduation day, but in no way, shape or form shall I be told I'm doing something. I'm an adult, not a 12 year old child, even if I am living under her roof.

Awwwww, I am so sorry to hear of the conflict. But maybe your mom is being snarky because she is upset.

Could you maybe even just consider going? Just a few hours out of your life to make your parents happy.

I seriously think that you are more likely to regret not going, than going. You can never get it back, once it has passed.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do (at all!) but maybe just think about the fact that it's barely a day out of your life.

pablakeman

pablakeman wrote: »

I haven't read past this, but what sort of life are you looking for that a 2:1 isn't an achievement? Your post has really bothered me.

I got 54 in my 2nd year. However, KPMG offered me a graduate position with a 2:1 requirement (thus implying an achievement no?) and last semester I got a 65 average, and am looking at getting higher. (My final year is worth 80%°

Yes I should have worked harder in my 2nd year, but a 2:1 is an achievement for anybody. It gets you onto most grad schemes, and it shows you haven't just dossed about.

I haven't made myself too clear but why do you think you are a failure? Is it because you are looking to go into a certain career or are you comparing yourself to others? Either way it is worrying

Have now read on and it seems like you are beating yourself up about it. I imagine you are still young (surely?) and many other career options are open to you? I am going to be blunt.

Get over it and move on.

pollypenny

This thread has amused me: so many posters who just missed a first! Oh dear.

supersaver2

pablakeman wrote: »

Have now read on and it seems like you are beating yourself up about it. I imagine you are still young (surely?) and many other career options are open to you? I am going to be blunt.

Get over it and move on.

Rude and unnecessary, she isn't the only poster who has stated they felt disappointed with their grade.

Why are you so 'worried' about how other people feel just out of interest?

Izadora

studentuk1 wrote: »

Maybe I'm completely out of order, and I owe it to her to give her the graduation day, but in no way, shape or form shall I be told I'm doing something. I'm an adult, not a 12 year old child, even if I am living under her roof.

Her putting her foot down with a 'tough, you're going' attitude isn't the right way to go about things and she shouldn't be telling you what to do but life involves a lot of compromises. I understand that you don't want to go but it's obviously something which is important to her and I know that if I was given the choice between upsetting/hurting my mum and sucking up something unpleasant for one day then it'd be a no-brainer.

picklekin

I went to mine, but I had a nice enough time at Uni and had some good friends there. I REALLY don't think your mother should talk to you that way, it gets my back up just reading it! If she'd kindly asked you to go then you could consider it, but being pushed around like that is a no go.

marywooyeah

pablakeman wrote: »

I haven't read past this, but what sort of life are you looking for that a 2:1 isn't an achievement? Your post has really bothered me.

I got 54 in my 2nd year. However, KPMG offered me a graduate position with a 2:1 requirement (thus implying an achievement no?) and last semester I got a 65 average, and am looking at getting higher. (My final year is worth 80%°

Yes I should have worked harder in my 2nd year, but a 2:1 is an achievement for anybody. It gets you onto most grad schemes, and it shows you haven't just dossed about.

I haven't made myself too clear but why do you think you are a failure? Is it because you are looking to go into a certain career or are you comparing yourself to others? Either way it is worrying

You say you haven't read past that post, so you wouldn't have seen the two posts where I clarified why I was disappointed with my grade and the fact that I needed a first to progress in my career.

You'll also have missed the part where I clarified that a degree classification is very personal and viewed subjectively, so whilst one person would be thrilled to get one grade another may be disappointed to get the same.

Maybe you should have read the full picture before commenting?

I've enrolled on a post grad course on a self funded basis, which has cost me a lot but it means I will hopefully be able to still get where I need to be able to qualify as a solicitor.

I have a baby due today and will be sitting the exams for this course next month so I clearly do work very hard and have "moved on" as your comment so kindly suggested.

Your graduate position sounds very promising, I hope that it goes well for you and all the best for the rest of your degree.

studentuk1 wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies.

I mentioned this again to my mother tonight, stated I had no interest in going because X Y Z reasons, and her response was basically "tough, you're going". After advising her I was an adult and would be making my own decision, she got quite narky.

For me, I think this issue has become more than just the graduation. It's pushing me to start looking for somewhere else to live (currently living at my mums), which in turn may help my mother realise I'm no longer a child and that she can no longer dictate what I shall be doing.

Maybe I'm completely out of order, and I owe it to her to give her the graduation day, but in no way, shape or form shall I be told I'm doing something. I'm an adult, not a 12 year old child, even if I am living under her roof.

OP I'm sorry to hear that your mother reacted that way, but it's good that it has made you reconsider your living arrangements with a view to showing your mother that you are capable of making your own decisions.

Ultimately you should only go to the ceremony if you feel it is right for you and not for anyone else. You shouldn't feel that you "owe" it to her to go x

pablakeman

supersaver2 wrote: »

Rude and unnecessary, she isn't the only poster who has stated they felt disappointed with their grade.

Why are you so 'worried' about how other people feel just out of interest?

She has done a bit more than stated she is disappointed. She is allowing something that, according to her, is now impossible to rule over her life. Rude? Yes. Unnecessary? No. Blunt and to the point? Yes.

Don't you worry about other people? I am currently in my last couple of weeks of uni trying my darn hardest to get a 2:1 to join KPMG. But I know that if I didn't, I wouldn't spend my time living in the past and going on about how much of a failure I am. How would that do me any good?

So yes, my above post was rude, but I wanted to be concise and to the point. If as is to be believed, she can't change it now, then she needs to get over it and move on. Easier said than done, but still needs doing.

pablakeman

marywooyeah wrote: »

You say you haven't read past that post, so you wouldn't have seen the two posts where I clarified why I was disappointed with my grade and the fact that I needed a first to progress in my career.

You'll also have missed the part where I clarified that a degree classification is very personal and viewed subjectively, so whilst one person would be thrilled to get one grade another may be disappointed to get the same.

Maybe you should have read the full picture before commenting?

hopefully be able to still get where I need to be able to qualify as a solicitor.

I have a baby due today and will be sitting the exams for this course next month so I clearly do work very hard and have "moved on" as your comment so kindly suggested.

As I have just said above, I know my comment was rude, but I was being blunt and to the point.

That is actually fantastic news that you can still get to where you want to be. The whole point I was trying to make is that you can't live in the past, and evidently you aren't. I wasn't looking to personally attack you, but I know a few people who have the attitude that you seemed to have in the few posts you wrote, and they are stuck in a dead end about things they can't change.

I wasn't even judging you, as it isn't my place to, I just wanted to make clear my own views on such a negative attitude. There is always a solution no matter what happens, as your (expensive, but hopefully worth it) further studies have proved.

Yes happiness with your result is subjective, but how you deal with it shouldn't be so negative, so I am glad to hear that you have almost got over it and moved on.