Concerned about a friend

alyth

Do you know where she has moved to? I live in deep and darkest China, and I can't access most websites without the use of a VPN, including this site. Depending on how she access the internet, she may not have access to a PC or mobile device, or she may not get internet signal where she is.....My power randomly go off for days on end, thankfully not for a while, or my internet access may be blocked due to Chinese censors (there is a big anniversary in three weeks times so I'm anticipating no internet for at least a few days).

It's unlikely the British Embassy would help unless you were a family member unfortunately. In China they're not well known for helping anyone in distress!

Could her facebook account have been deleted by someone else? I get a totally different version to facebook out here than I did in the UK....I also appear to have friends I've no idea who they are and people frequently get unfriended (not by me). So don't worry too much if her only contact was via facebook - I sometimes don't get messages for a few days, then a whole bunch come through at once - the same with my emails.

Or is her husband in the forces? Can he be contacted through his company?

Saturnalia

My friend is in Western Europe, so a bit different.

I tried looking for the two siblings I remembered seeing on FB but couldn't find them on there. I'm taking that as a good sign as surely if your sister were missing you'd keep as many means of contact open as possible? And probably use social media to try to find her.

My work friend asked was this friend the one who took and posted dozens of photos of the pair of us together? (Yes, it is her.) He said if the family was concerned and had reported her missing, the police would be going through her internet & phone records and would want to speak to me as I'm obviously close to her and they would assume either she was with me or that I'd know something that could help them find her. So he thinks the fact I haven't been contacted by police means my friend hasn't been reported missing. Which makes sense to me.

Still feeling a bit fretful though, but a bit calmer.

burnoutbabe

have you tried searching for her facebook account not logged in? ie you are blocked rather than she has deleted it.

I would contact her family, must have contact details for one of them? or know their name and town and could look them up via royal mail.

paddyrg

There's no problem contacting the family if you can find them. She's either safe and called home, or her family will be trying to find her friends to see if they've heard from her.

As for tracking the family down, do they have an unusual surname? Do you know what her father's job is/was etc - you can probably do a bit of detective work and find them.

poet123

Saturnalia wrote: »

My friend is in Western Europe, so a bit different.

I tried looking for the two siblings I remembered seeing on FB but couldn't find them on there. I'm taking that as a good sign as surely if your sister were missing you'd keep as many means of contact open as possible? And probably use social media to try to find her.

My work friend asked was this friend the one who took and posted dozens of photos of the pair of us together? (Yes, it is her.) He said if the family was concerned and had reported her missing, the police would be going through her internet & phone records and would want to speak to me as I'm obviously close to her and they would assume either she was with me or that I'd know something that could help them find her. So he thinks the fact I haven't been contacted by police means my friend hasn't been reported missing. Which makes sense to me.

Still feeling a bit fretful though, but a bit calmer.

Not wanting to worry you but who would report her missing if, as you perhaps fear, she has come to harm via her husband? Not him surely? Are there other friends who would notice her missing or is she isolated with her husband? I imagine it would easy enough to put enquirers of the scent of anything untoward by saying she has gone home for a visit.

Saturnalia

I found a FB that I think is her brother, and sent him a message, but he hasn't replied yet. The profile is secret so I can't see if there has been any activity on it.

No reply yet from my friend on Whatsapp or on e-mail yet. I miss her.:(

KxMx

You should be able to see in the message view when it has been read.

AbbieCadabra

Saturnalia wrote: »

I found a FB that I think is her brother, and sent him a message, but he hasn't replied yet. The profile is secret so I can't see if there has been any activity on it.

No reply yet from my friend on Whatsapp or on e-mail yet. I miss her.:(

if you're not friends on FB the message will go into 'other' & not show until messages is actually clicked on, it's pretty much hidden.

Saturnalia

UPDATE! My friend sent me a message on FB chat this morning. She apologised for not replying, saying my e-mail had gone to her junk folder, and could she have my home address so she could write to me. I typed it, was about to ask for hers, but she said thanks and logged off.

At least she's ok and wants to stay in touch. I'm getting the impression her e-mails etc. are being monitored, and if so letters are a safer way of communicating, if she has a friend's/work address she can write from and me to.

I suppose I'll find out a bit more when she writes. For now I'm just so pleased to know the worst hasn't happened as I was starting to imagine. :-(

Flugelhorn

glad to hear you have heard from her via e-mail, hope that you get a letter soon. My only concern would be that it wasn't her responding ... did it seem like her writing style?