Concerned about a friend

Mojisola

Saturnalia wrote: »

Problem is I'm not sure whether to raise a fuss when there might well be nothing wrong.

There's no need to raise a fuss - if you can contact them and just say "Haven't heard from X for a while. Is she okay?", you might get a reply that puts your mind at rest.

If no-one has heard from her, I'd trust your gut feeling and take it further.

bagpussbear

I think you are right to be concerned.

I do think it reasonable that you get hold of the family, and state your concerns. I think it's better to do that and find out there was a good reason your friend had not been in touch (been in hospital again etc) than not say anything at all, and realise she needed help.

[Deleted User]

If you don't want to raise a fuss with her family etc can you not just contact them saying that you've lost her current number and could you have it?

You could mention in passing that you'd not heard from her for a while, and see how they react before voicing your full concerns?

theoretica

The other route which has not been mentioned would be to go through the British Embassy, Consulate or whatever they have in that country. I expect a correct way to go about this would be to call the non-emergency police number in this country.

savingmummy

I`d be worried too.

Definitely try and speak to a mutual friend and bring it up in conversation without expressing major concern as a pp has mentioned `not heard from x in a while have you heard from her?`

Hope you hear something soon.

meritaten

Do you think she may have left him and is 'in hiding'? or some harm has happened to her?
has there been any activity on her FB account at all?
There could be a hundred reasonable explanations - but I would try contacting a member of the family if you could.

marywooyeah

do you know where she works? could be worth giving her an employer a ring, otherwise the family member facebook profiles sound worth a go x

Saturnalia

meritaten wrote: »

Do you think she may have left him and is 'in hiding'? or some harm has happened to her?
has there been any activity on her FB account at all?
There could be a hundred reasonable explanations - but I would try contacting a member of the family if you could.

It's possible she has left him and gone to stay with friends/family elsewhere, and not been in touch out of embarrassment, worried I'd say "told you so" (which I definitely wouldn't!) And I am trying not to think of anything really bad happening.

My friend seems to have deleted her FB account. I know people sometimes do that too for all kinds of reasons, but as she used it to stay in touch with all her British friends and family, it seems odd that she would do that.



When I posted this thread I was expecting everyone to tell me I was fretting about nothing, my friend is an adult who can come and go as she pleases without checking in, there are many reasons a person can be out of touch for a month, etc. But instead everyone has said they'd be concerned as well. That's quite worrying.

hazyjo

A friend of mine in Belfast recently split with someone and went into a horrendous depressive state. He deleted his FB a/c and basically went into hiding. I tried ringing, texting, sending emails, even went down the stroppy route and told him I'd contact his family if he didn't let me know he was alright, also tried being harsh and telling him not to be selfish and just to please let us know he was okay then he could disappear again. Nothing.

He reappeared eventually (seemed to be back with this [married] woman (who basically used my friend IMO) - although, from her disappearance on his FB page I think they've split again). I've been a bit 'funny' with him ever since, but we're starting to be friends again.

It's difficult when you know they're with someone wrong and when they then realise it. They do tend to go into hiding!

I really hope it's nothing to worry about. I'm guessing she's in a similar state to my friend, but I too would be concerned.

Try googling her name (put it in quotes so it picks up the exact name), not every variation.

Jx

liuhutOz

where has she moved to? There are people on here that are all over the place, I wonder if someone could deliver a little card from you? I can understand why you are worried, given the history.