My Ex Husband is wanting to sell a vehicle we owned.

fivetide

Sounds like someone doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions and is blaming you for his own philandering.

Tell him to suck it up. If you can work things out without going legal that's always better, especially with a child involved but it doesn't sound like that is going to be possible in this case.

As said though, your car, get it back, flog it and give him a share back if you want to.

Make sure you get his child maintainence money sorted as well.

lazer

Everything is a marital asset - belongs to both of you regardless of what name it is in.

Since you are keeping the house, I assume you are keeping the furniture in the house too, while he has to buy new furniture for his.

Do you have any other assets or savings other than the car?

If you are selling the car, clear the debts with the money, and the remainder should be spilt 50/50.
The furniture should also be spilt 50/50 though - so if you don't want to give him the furniture perhaps you could give him more of the money from the car sale as you have suggested yourself - 2/3's of it.

Mak a list of everything you both own and both owe and work from there

Mojisola

lazer wrote: »

If you are selling the car, clear the debts with the money, and the remainder should be spilt 50/50.

This would apply if there were only two adults involved.

As the couple have a child, a 50/50 split would not be normal. Whichever parent is going to be the main carer would normally get a higher amount.

https://www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends/how-the-court-splits-assets
5. How the court splits assets
The judge will decide on the division of assets based on how long you’ve been married or in a civil partnership, as well as your:
ages
ability to earn
property and money
living expenses
standard of living
role in the marriage or civil partnership (eg if you were the breadwinner or primary carer)
The judge will decide on the fairest way to divide the assets if there are enough assets to meet everyone’s needs.

The judge will make arrangements for any children first - especially their housing arrangements and child maintenance - if there isn’t enough.

The judge will usually try to arrange a ‘clean break’, so everything is shared out, and you no longer have any financial ties to one another.

BigAunty

I am not concluding that you are a victim of domestic abuse, you may simply have a bad relationship which is quite different.

That said, many of the tactics you've outlined are quite characteristic to an abusive relationship (which doesn't mean that you need to have been a victim of physical violence as it has a much wider definition than being hit by a partner). This includes features such as his sulking, the pressure tactics, blaming his behaviour on you, trying to make you feel isolated, making excuses to get his way.

Abusive relationships include what is known as emotional and financial abuse, including forcing their partner into debt and exploiting them for financial gain.

See the Womens Aid website just to double check if you feel you come within the scope of an abusive relationship because, if so, they can help you with expert advice about protecting yourself from his controlling behaviour.

Even if you conclude that you are not a victim/survivor of abuse so won't proceed with contacting them, some of the information on their website will be helpful to understand what motivates your ex to behave so intolerably and some of your options to increase your resistence to his unreasonable demands.

How to recognise abuse

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-survivors-handbook.asp?section=000100010008000100310004

BigAunty

Marsbar73 wrote: »

I must add he walked out of our mortgaged house. He has agreed to pay towards the house & our daughter, but only a proportion. He has stated he won't give me money from sale as he will be continuing to pay for house.

See the Shelter website to understand your rights and options when it comes to the property. They have a relationship breakdown section. This includes information on securing an occupation order that could give you the right to live in the property until your youngest turns 18.

If it is a joint mortgage, he has the right to occupy the property whenever he likes, unless there is an occupation order in place, for example.

Joint and several liability (if there is joint ownership) means that the lender doesn't care who pays the mortgage, there is no such thing as a 'share per person' to them as any arrangements between owners is simply at the personal level. They will go after either or both parties if there are arrears.

If you are worried about the prospect of arrears or repossession, note that the Shelter website has a helpline and good website information for distressed owners on how to deal with these issues.

BigAunty

Marsbar73 wrote: »

There are outstanding debts against our mortgage of £1400 where we had to take time of payments due to him being out of work. We also have a joint account that has a £1700 overdraft. He keeps saying to me if I had a heart if let him take the van to sell so he had money to live.. I really don't know what to do.. He also has an unpaid tax bill that he keeps threatening me with as his outstanding bill accrued whilst I wasn't earning a lot whilst we were a team!!He tells me he can make me pay half of it if I don't let him have money from sale of vehicle.. But if I do that I am left with overdraft & outstanding mortgage amount & he will take tax bill..

The fact of the matter is that he is solely responsible for any outstanding taxes in his name so while he is making himself out to prepared to accept the burden of this and trying to persuade you to accept responsibility for the other debts, it is just his issue to deal with anyway! Let's be clear here - he is pitching paying his taxes as a favour to you when in fact he has no option, so its not much of a gesture really.

That said, today I read in the newspapers that the HMRC are hoping to change the law by making spouses pay the outstanding taxes of their partners, including seizing funds from savings accounts and investments directly. Keep your eye on this to see if it comes into law. They are only proposing to do this for certain sums of tax debts and to ensure that the household they seize it from still have at least 5k in capital. EDIT - info here

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2623810/Taxman-raid-joint-accounts-Wife-lose-cash-husband-whos-arrears-new-proposals.html

I strongly recommend that you post your financial situation on the Debt Free wanabee board where the posters there can outline a debt management strategy to help you deal with the jointly owned debts and your drop in income. They may be able to help you with getting them written off, or payable back by token sums and recommend a free debt charity to contact.

Secondly, I advise you to see the Direct Gov website's information about the CSA and your child support options. There is also a child support board on MSE where the posters can also help you understand your rights. The CSA organisation is changing in the future.

Finally, do a benefit check on the Turn2us online benefit calculator - you may find you are entitled to child tax credits, working tax credits, council tax reduction, perhaps paid child care now you are a lone parent family on a low income.

A lone parent only has to work 16 hours per week to qualify for WTC and some find they are better off if they reduce their working hours just because their tax credits increase while their travel to work and child care expenses reduce, for example.

MSE has a budget planner. Suggest you download this, fill it in and work through the site to identify where to slash all your expenses (cheapest tariffs for energy, telecoms, insurance, cheap recipes, etc). Then you will have a realistic handle on your income and expenses.

Once you have sought expert advice on your rights and options with the property, your benefit entitlements, debt management and how to resist the petty demands of your ex, you will feel more in control of your destiny, things will be much less chaotic and because you feel less vulnerable, there is less chance of your ex exploiting you through blackmail and guilt trips.

pmlindyloo

May I suggest a slightly different route?

Here is a link that will give you some other links that you can use.

http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/relationship_breakdown/counselling_and_mediation

Although it may be that ultimately you may need to seek advice from a solicitor this can be so expensive. The only people who gain financially are the solicitors.

There is an in between route that may work for you. it is explained more fully in the link I gave.

First you go and get some free legal advice as to your 'rights'.

Then you ask your OH to go with you to family mediation.

Basically they will help you come to agreements about property/financial matters/children. It often helps to have a thirty party sitting with you to guide you through things. If you make an agreement then this can be legalised by going through a solicitor.

Although most Family Mediation Services charge it is much much cheaper than solicitors.

I realise that most posters have said that your OH is taking you for a ride but I take a slightly different view. at the moment emotions on both sides are running high. Things are being said in the heat of the moment. We all do it. Both of you are worried about things financially. This is about all of you and the priority has to be your child.

You say you still care for him and you thought he was having an affair. Do you think that counselling might help? (information about that too on the link)

I know nothing about your relationship other than what you have said but please take a deep breath and for the sake of your child try to come to an amicable agreement about things so you can both move forward.

Marsbar73

Thanks for all your comments I really appreciate the advise.. Keep it coming..xx
I have another question Does he have to supply me with his new address when he finally finds somewhere to live? He's stating he won't give it to me. I've said I'd need to know due where my daughter is when she visits him. I also need it for things like her school etc. Can he refuse giving it to me?

Tigsteroonie

OP, in addition to all of the above pointers, I'd like to suggest you look at the Wikivorce website. It is rammed full of information about how divorce and financial proceedings actually progress - as it sounds likely you will end up down that route - and it has a lively and informative forum on which a number of legal beagles respond.

Katem

As you're seemingly happy to sell the car, but (justifiably) want to see some of the money, why don't YOU sell it, and give him what you think is fair? As it's YOUR car, he hasn't got a leg to stand on then.

And yeah, get legal advice.