son broke up with gf she is suicidal

geminilady

I hope someone can give some advise,my son broke up with his gf,found out she had lied to him for the past year,her parents are away and she has wrecked their house(she does not live near us )and was threatening suicide,she has apparently attempted it before so we rang the police they took her in earlier this evening for psychiatric evaluation and have apparently let her out.I phoned to ask about this and they said they had released her to a family member,my son thinks it must be her half brother who she does not have a close relationship with.My son thinks he has just picked her up from the hospital and left her on her own,her parents are abroad.My son is very worried she will harm herself,any advise?

Dazedandconfused

Can he get in touch with the half brother and check she isn't alone or get in touch with her parents. I can't see what he can do other than that. Did the police advise anything?

geminilady

Thanks,he has no contact details for the half brother,the parents have been told but as I said they are abroad for the next six weeks unless they come home early.The police did not advise anything.I don't understand how the hospital can let her out after a few hours seems like she must have said she was ok and they believed her.

DomRavioli

OP, the severe lack of mental health inpatient beds means that unless there is an immediate risk to life, they have to let them go. Under the mental health act, you cannot hold a person against their will unless they fulfil conditions, threatening suicide seems desperate and a little childish; and if the approved mental health practitioner (the police won't do much, they aren't qualified to assess) from either social services or the local mental health provision will perform an assessment to see if sectioning (either voluntary or forced) would be both possible and of benefit.

If she presented and wasn't in severe crisis, then they have no right to remove her from society; sounds to me like the desperate cries of someone likely in shock and having an acute stress reaction to the events; that isn't enough to section someone, regardless of whether you like it or not the law is there to protect those who are mentally ill and who aren't allowed to be in society due to conditions, or who can be in society but under treatment orders.

You have only had one side of a story, so don't take this the wrong way but I've seen many a child try and cover up their messes by making others out to be the bad guys.

geminilady

DomRavioli wrote: »

You have only had one side of a story, so don't take this the wrong way but I've seen many a child try and cover up their messes by making others out to be the bad guys.

Thanks,I know I have only heard one side of the story but believe my son,he really cared for this girl and was planning a future with her but realized he will never be able to trust her after the lies she told.He still does care which is why he is worried and if she did harm herself he would blame himself for breaking up with her.

livingit

Have to agree with all that DomRavioli said, the MH services do not have the capacity to take anyone other than the most severe cases. It is not uncommon for people to feel guilty when in reality they are helpless to prevent the situation deteriorating. Your son thinks he knows that she has been released to her half brother and abandoned but he doesn't know this. Your son has done what he can, alerting the police and starting the process. Your son says that she has previous history and now that the family have been told then he has to allow them to take responsibility.

In an ideal world it would be reassuring to know that when someone was ill they would be looked after and kept safe.

Errata

Why can't the parents return home and care for her?

browneyedbazzi

geminilady wrote: »

I don't understand how the hospital can let her out after a few hours seems like she must have said she was ok and they believed her.

They are trained professionals and will be able to evaluate the risk of suicide and make a professional judgement- more things are taken into consideration than whether or not someone has made threats, the threats on their own are not the best indicator of risk. If their evaluation didn't show her to be at a high risk then they wouldn't/couldn't keep her in - and rightly so, how would you like it if an ex of yours could have you locked up in a mental health hospital simply by calling the police and claiming that you had threatened suicide??

NatMast_2

It does sound like the stereotypical cry for attention in the harshest, most blunt way possible.

The people in the hospital are trained and rarely let things like this slip through their fingers. There may have been a conversation between her and them and they evaluated her as no immediate risk to life.

I think it's sad that it has come down to this in the first place. However saddening, break ups happen regularly and we learn to deal with them in the long term.

I have to say I don't fully understand why her parents wouldn't rush home to see if she's okay or worry and contact her or her half brother to ensure her safety. I find that completely irresponsible regardless of anything else. If I even found out a friend was in that situation I would drop everything and come back, let alone a daughter!

AnnieO1234

Generally someone who actually is going to commit suicide will just do it, they won't tell anyone about it, often leaving loved ones struggling to understand why it's happened. On the same note, someone threatening to commit suicide is generally seeking attention. The girl certainly sounds as though she has some mental health problems.

As you know where she lives, google the Emergency Mental Health Team in her area. Give them as much detail as you can. They will be able to assess as needed although they'll obviously not be able to enter into specific discussions with you.

I'm afraid there's little else you can do, I know it's hard and your son might consider going around for six weeks until her parents are back but in honesty that could be the worst possible thing as it will give her a major set back again in six weeks time.

Xx

princeofpounds

Her parents know about this. Her parents would have contact details for her half brother, and hopefully have the contact details of the police/psychologist based on what you have said.

Maybe you wish to confirm this, but I think your son has done everything reasonable he can so far. Her safety is the responsibility of herself, first and foremost, and her parents if she is a minor.