Only freedom will do

in_need_of_direction

Ed, it's a natural process, people do it everyday. Just aim to enjoy it whatever way it happens.

edinburgher

I will INOD, not so sure about Mrs E!

in_need_of_direction

Both mine were 2 weeks early. First labour 4 hours, second 8 minutes. She puts up with your sometimes madcap schemes, she can get through it to make a family.

judi24

Just throw in my tuppence - all my 4 were induced, 2 14 days late and 2 2days late for various reasons but with the 2 that were2 weeks late I was more than happy to be induced! I think I might still be pregnant now (23 years!!!) if my first hadn't been persuaded to come out!!! she wasn't for budging!!! The births were all ok - pain full but ok!

SuperSecretSquirrel

Hi Ed A pension for toots may seem a bit drastic, but a JISA might appeal?

choccielover

See these children's savings vehicles scare me somewhat.

I have my daughters savings in an account in my name ( and some premium bonds.....I know, I know...) because I have a fear about letting her have control over a, not so insignificant, sum of money at 16/18.
I was extraordinarily sensible at that age, my sister dramatically less so and I fear she would squander the money I have saved for her to set up in life.
Now obviously I have to pay tax on the interest I accrue but I kind of see it as the cost of keeping control.

I appreciate this attitude displays little respect or trust in my daughter (currently a toddler so not overly bothered herself at the moment) or her future self but it helps me sleep at night.

As far as I am aware, and I have failed to do huge amounts of research in this area, this is the only way (simple way at least) to keep a semblance of control and prevent her getting her hands on tens of thousands of pounds at a very young age.

Now you're going to ask when I think she should get the cash.....not really considered that yet.
Though my husband did mention we should put her premium bond win towards "her" share of the mortgage I didnt, it duly went back into her savings....

Sorry Ed, little sideways step in your thread here....

Chocs

SuperSecretSquirrel

I certainly identify with those concerns choccielover. I wrote a long post that failed then disappeared, my rewrite was a lot terser!

We save some in a JISA and hope that decent parenting results in sensible use of it. Maybe a first car for work purposes, or a deposit on a small house. Could just as easily be blown on an extravagant holiday, or worse. I feel we need something in LO's name to demonstrate trust/respect though, and honestly sometimes mistakes end up being extremely valuable life lessons in time.

We've settled on a smallish monthly standing order into a JISA, with further savings in our own names but earmarked for LO's future. The lion's share is in our own names

edinburgher

Choccielover, I started out like SSS, all full of good intentions for how I'd raise a super savvy sprog with awesome financial skills and none of the vices that I had as a 17/18 year old :rotfl:

Then reality struck! I was an absolute muppet with money at 17, worse at 18, worse still at 19... My wife had a 'student' overdraft until she was 25 or so

So, the debate moves away from 'how to raise a tiny Martin Lewis' and towards 'how do I balance the needs and wants of a normal teenager with their willingness (and ability) to balance conflicting goals'?

For me, I agree with Choccielover. We will invest for our baby, but not in a vehicle that gives her full control at 18. She will not be made aware of this provision, removing any issues of 'trust'. It is perfectly alright not to trust someone who hasn't been born! If anything, it is a recognition that parents don't always manage to pass on the wisdom that they might like. If she gets to 18 and hasn't 'found religion', she'll have time to find her way in the world and there will be no oness on us to pony up a large pile of money.

She will be given as much financial wisdom as she will tolerate and every opportunity to practice with pocket money, extra chores for a wee bit more as she grows up and her first part-time jobs etc. For example, I like the example I read somewhere of letting your children review the household SOA, being given a small proportion of any money that they can save

Investing in our names throws up a couple of complications (namely the impact on certain benefits and tax protection). Re. benefits - for better or worse - we are very unlikely to receive any benefits that take savings into consideration in any circumstance. For tax protection - with the best will in the world, I can't see the money we are able to set aside for her passing the adult ISA allowance for 2 years or so. When we're ready to pass on the Edinburgher millions, we'll gift it in March so that she can put it straight back into 2 years of adult ISAs.

I'm also a fan of retaining control because I have no idea what the government will do in the next 18 years. I do not want to pay money into a wrapper that changes materially, but locks up existing monies. If the adult ISA regime changes, I can empty the accounts within a matter of days.

AlexLK

My wife and I plan not to give our son a large amount of money but would like to buy him a house and give him an allowance to support him through his university years and into adult life if required. I do not want him to ever be in debt or feel he has no one to turn to.

I was given a large sum of money at 18 and had spent it by 23. I do still have some things I bought but most of it was spent on living the life of a City banker whilst I was a student. I hadn't a clue my parents wouldn't simply give me more and they were so furious, they didn't speak to me for about 6 years. When I look back, it somewhat alienated me from my peers and lead me to live an unsustainable and unhealthy lifestyle. Due to my financial mismanagement it prevented me from pursuing a PhD and subsequently a career in academia which I wanted.

At the time I blamed my parents for not giving me more money and to this day I wonder what life would be like had I been sensible. For those reasons I would be extremely reluctant to give my son a large amount of money 18. Perhaps he wouldn't waste the money as I did, a part of me wouldn't care if he did but I can't face the potential risk of him regretting his few years of fun and ending up like me.

edinburgher

Did your parents ever tell you how to look after a large sum of money Alex?