Only freedom will do

ourcornercottage

We are both self employed and work together so I worked on Friday, had little one Sunday 5am. Dad back at work Monday. Both at work part time within 3 weeks. It's about your situation, I had no choice staff had to be paid and only I could do it. Soon moved to both working 3 days a week when he was 3 weeks old, when 4 when he started pre school then 5 (3 full, 2 short days) when he started school.

We've got a really nice work life balance now and have both got a great bond with little one, my point is that you soon work things out, things which work for you. One recommendation is to work right up to due date. My little one came in day due but you can be waiting weeks and everyone gets bored and tetchy. Both work til due date if poss is my advise.

ourcornercottage

Forgot to add in terms of money for sproglet we have put his child benefit (£80 per month) topped up with an additional £20 from me into an high interest account since the day he was born which my mum looks after. Strictly not to be given to him till he is sensible with money. (40 if you are me!)

Also when he was 0-4 we asked for money for birthdays christmas as he didn't need loads of stuff. All went in account. He's 6 now and I think it's 5 figures now!

He will know nothing about this money and I don't even think about it tbh. We have never had it so don't miss it if we should fall on hard times we will stop paying in his account but at least he will have what we have already saved up.

I have been looking at pensions for Kids and am considering this for him too. I'm interested to know what you think. Also when it builds up some more maybe a deposit for a buy to let. It must just be very low risk it goes without saying.

SuperSecretSquirrel

I'm half way through the millionaire next door having seen it mentioned on here recently. Something it has highlighted to me is how much of a minefield parenting and finances can be. It's easy to look at the extremes and intuitively feel that something is wrong - huge trust funds and never having to make your own way in the world on the one hand, lack of support bordering on negligence on the other. But that huge spectrum of socially/morally acceptable possibilities in the middle, how, without the benefit of hindsight, do you know whether where you position yourself is doing it right or doing your child a disservice?

We're saving a little for LO's future, and there's no denying that this is the right thing for responsible parents to do if it is within their means, but at what point does it become too much? If, for example, we were to give LO a mortgage free house as a 21st birthday gift (not a realistic example for us!), would that be a good thing or a bad thing? I figure it's probably a bit of both, but more on the side of bad in my personal opinion - others may disagree. Denying our children the character building opportunities of minor first world struggles is probably quite harmful. But where do you draw the line? I know what they mean when say that babies don't come with manuals now. It's got nothing to do with the sleep deprivation, nappies, and feeding when they're tiny, that's a walk in the park compared to worrying about how you best help them become the most well adjusted little (and later big) people they can possibly be!

edinburgher

He's 6 now and I think it's 5 figures now!

That's amazing ourcornercottage, a stunning achievement. I'm not a fan of BTL, but it sounds like it could provide a wonderful deposit for his own home, or a great nest egg for University or to start a business

I am entirely undecided on pensions for children. Perhaps I'd consider them once my children move out and started their own lives as a later life gift surprise from my will

Lack of support bordering on negligence on the other

Well, that's maybe a wee bit strong? My parents were never able to offer much in the way of practical support as they had 5 children. That said, they are making up for it fast as they approach their 60s!

Some people don't have the means to offer much beyond love, which is great, but definitely not all you need

You have raised some really interesting questions and have re-affirmed my belief that investing secretly is perhaps the best way to start out, I do not want to create an entitlement complex.

that's a walk in the park compared to worrying about how you best help them become the most well adjusted little (and later big) people they can possibly be!

Wise words, most parents don't screw up their kids until they are teenagers :rotfl:

The second couple have also gotten married, completely funded by their parents (spending almost twice that of the first couple) and had work done to their house, again, paid for by their parents.

Haha - I think Mrs E and I are couple #2

£10k gift towards house deposit, £4-5k wedding costs covered, free 2nd hand car, baby buggy

That said, we have worked hard and have provided a very good return on their 'investment'. Well, technically we've returned nothing, but we've taken ourselves from 90% LTV to 70% in 3 years, have started investing and are teaching them about current account shuffle, cashback and ways to make their money work better.

Totally lost the thread now... Some people get money and waste it, some don't? I suppose like SSS is driving at, a bit of generosity without completely removing childrens' will to work is probably best.

All very relevant, as

Mrs E is in labour :j

Goldiegirl

I've checked your thread at just the right time!


Best wishes to Mrs E, hoping for a swift delivery !


(I feel a strange urge to boil kettles and get clean towels!)

ajmoney

edinburgher wrote: »

All very relevant, as

Mrs E is in labour :j

Very exciting, I hope everything goes smoothly x

Karmacat

edinburgher wrote: »

Mrs E is in labour :j

Ed :j:j:j Hope its all going well so far - that was only an hour ago, hey?

Positive vibes aplenty headed to the three of you :j

BookWorm

:j how exciting! Hope it's as quick and as painless as can be for Mrs E

edinburgher

Hope its all going well so far - that was only an hour ago, hey?

Waters broke at 04:30, feeling sleepy! Sent home until things move on a bit more

Karmacat

Toots is on her way, then and all's well - or it would be, if Mrs E can get some sleep here's hoping.