A disabled child being verbally abused by an employee

Morglin

sax11 wrote: »

Some people do instill politeness in their children, just that it's now few and far bwtween

And, obviously, your parents chose not to install it in you, judging by your ignorant comments.

Lin

Pollycat

fivetide wrote: »

OP hasn't given the context though or details of why the comment was made so tricky to speculate. I assume that as they want to rip this guy a new one they weren't there so we are only getting one side of the story and that secondhand.

I would also be very interested in the circumstances around this alleged incident.

barbarawright

Did the driver call your son a weirdo to his face or was he heard saying it about him? If the latter, you might want to consider whether you have ever in your life used an inappropriate term about someone that you wouldn't use in their presence.

stefano

barbarawright wrote: »

Did the driver call your son a weirdo to his face or was he heard saying it about him? If the latter, you might want to consider whether you have ever in your life used an inappropriate term about someone that you wouldn't use in their presence.

The driver said it to his face.
The driver in question approached me a week or so ago, and he wants to talk to me about it.

barbarawright

Maybe it was a joke that your son didn't understand. Do you know the context?

ilikewatch

barbarawright wrote: »

Maybe it was a joke that your son didn't understand. Do you know the context?

Just what I was thinking - especially when a common symptom of autism is to sometimes take things completely literally.

Several years ago I was at a relatives house when some young cousins were running about the living room letting off steam I said (in a friendly, joking way) "Hey, stop jumping on the furniture you nutters" - just as I might happily say to any over-excited 9/10 year olds who are acting a bit wild.

Anyway, all hell broke loose - one of my cousins (who is autistic) misenterpreted my exclamation as a negative comment on his mental health. There were fits of tears, concerned relatives wailing and gnashing their teeth. To this day half the family refuses to talk to me because 10 years ago I told poor Jacob that he was crazy/a lunatic/insane.

ilikewatch

As many have said, the exact circumstances will make a big difference i.e.

a) Primary school TA calls your 6 year old autistic child a weirdo after he struggles to socialise and form friendships in school - bang out of order.

b) Bus driver calls your 17 year old autistic child a weirdo after he repeatedly makes unwanted approaches to unaccompanied women on the night bus - entirely understandable.

Pollycat

stefano wrote: »

The driver said it to his face.
The driver in question approached me a week or so ago, and he wants to talk to me about it.

What was his attitude like?
Was he aggressive, conciliatory, apologetic?

You've not said in any of your posts on this thread if you've spoken to him since this incident (you did say you'd like to 'give him a very big piece of your mind') or if you have spoken to your employer.

Have you done either of these things?

If not, what has prompted him to approach you?

And what did you say back to him?

And when is he planning to talk to you?

KiKi

Hi OP

It's possible that the driver was deliberately being rude in the context of your son's disability.

It's equally possible that he jokingly said "weirdo!" when your son told him he loved buses.


I love the London Underground. For lots of reasons. I have some fabulous 40s posters of it, a door stop made from the livery of the District Line - I'm geeky generally. I'm not autistic or diagnosed with any other form of illness. If I told a member of staff at Victoria station that I loved the underground and they jokingly said "you weirdo!", I'd laugh back and think nothing of it. I also love my cats rather obsessively - many people have called me a weirdo for that!

A lot of this depends on how the driver said it, why he said it, and whether or not he said it deliberately because of your son's autism. It is very possible that he made a joke and your son didn't understand it.

Rather than going in all guns blazing, calmly ask the person concerned what happened. Explain that your son was upset, and the reason why. If the driver did it totally innocently, then explain that to your son. If the driver seems aggressive and doesn't care about the impact, then you might consider putting in a written complaint.

But unless he knows about your son's autism, don't go in quoting legal acts; you will just look silly.

Your son may well face this on a day to day basis as he grows up - better that he learns how to deal with it in a way that doesn't involve punching other people, after all.

KiKi

sassysare

Have you decided on the course of action to take OP? I think some people need to realise times have changed and we don't just blurt things out - no matter what we are thinking. We wouldn't make crass jokes about a persons race, or sexual orientation and we certainly shouldn't be making it about disabled people. If people think negative things, they should keep it in their small minds and not open their big mouths.