Dealing with an abusive parent as an adult

Ames

I've finally cut my dad and sister out of my life. There's a lot of history to it but the final straw was when I was in hospital a couple of months ago. I phoned dad to tell him I was there and they were pretty sure it was appendicitis. All he wanted to talk about were issues to do with my late mother's house (legally nothing to do with him). I sent him a few texts when I was told it was actually something else and didn't hear anything for two days when I got a text to say he'd forgotten to charge his phone - which meant that my emergency contact had been unreachable when he thought I'd be having emergency surgery. I'd texted my sister when I got to hospital and didn't hear anything at all from her.

three days in a hospital with no visitors or phone calls gave me lots of time to think!

I'm surprised how well I feel about it. Without the toxicity of them treating me as a child and convincing me I'm a worthless failure I've been able to get to know myself and, very slowly, gain a bit of confidence.

I've been dithering about whether or not to send dad a birthday card next week, but this thread has reminded me why it's best not to.

being strong is so much easier said than done though. It means breaking years of conditioning that they're more important than you and you should be grateful for them ever deigning to notice you.