talk me down please

pollyanna_26

I missed your post about the migraine. Is it possible to get a few days off work to deal with the packing ? You're trying to juggle too many balls at the moment . I know your husband struggled with the noise etc in the flat so is he keen to move but maybe overwhelmed by the process . It's been a while since you mentioned any support sharing some of the caring .
pollyx

pollyanna_26

Reading your reply about the stuff he's a real hoarder so you've got your work cut out there. It is amazing how they can remember the tiniest thing from years ago . Sadly storing all those items in their heads is very bad mentally . It's like physically carrying the weight on their shoulders.
pollyx

mellymoo74

Gonna have to I think
Yep he's a real hoarder, as was his mum, as was his uncle.
There isn't any additional care its just me. Nephew came to help me do a tip run and Oh was having a meltdown.
Nephew knows it's the change, we move, his whatever the hell is in the spare room, bedroom, bath, living room won't be all around him and that makes him feel safe.

pollyanna_26

I understand what you mean Melly. I know someone who has dragged a pair of near ceiling height massive speakers to various bedsits and flats over about 15years . Many of those years they were stored in friends garages etc .He's never used them through the years but they were an expensive buy after a deeply traumatic loss at a young age .
He's been in a lovely flat with lots of space for a few years but they live in the spare room unused and blocking the daylight.
If anyone mentions them he will say they cost a lot of money and he will use them , he never does and the reality is times have moved on and if he was buying now he would be looking at more advanced models .The idea of selling them for a low price is unthinkable to him . He's trapped back in the past and living with the reminders of that time. I find it very sad.


All the stuff, needing to work and not having any support dealing with your husband is a very heavy load Melly, apart from somehow trying to get rid of stuff or finding support I don't know what you can do . It's a safe place thing to your husband but it's trapping him in the past and keeping those times alive.
pollyx

mellymoo74

Made me cry Pol

I have called in as I have a migraine
Not a surprise lots of chopping and changing hours, walked a lot last week, didn't drink enough, tons of pressure
Rest today get 8t to dull roar.

Its a family thing, his mum and uncle both hoarded. I am getting frustrated with the just throw it all out chats as HE needs to be able to let it go or it will just be replaced
Not you, his family nag him, he gets worse.
I need to chase the support.

mellymoo74

Who wants a pm of the outside.

Not you Cal you already seen it to death lol

elsien

Me please. I'm a nosy beggar.

mellymoo74

Just measured here so we can do a proper comparison
Same HA as current place tomorrow but this means don't need to move doc and stuff.
Wednesday is council and 1 bed but has a private garden

pollyanna_26

Oh I didn't mean to make you cry Melly. I hope the migraine has gone and you're looking forward to the viewing today. I would be strongly influenced by a private garden. I know you loved your seat and pots at the front of your flat. A private outdoor space would be good for you to potter and rest and recharge your batteries . I'm not sure how your husband is about being outdoors nowadays but it may even tempt him outside.
Of course you need to consider the pros and cons of each property before making a decision . I know you said they are closer to work so that's a plus . If they're outside your present GP practice area it's worth checking online which practices nearby are taking on patients, any local shops etc.

I know you'll be taking pictures of today and tomorrows viewings so give your yourself time to come to a decision . You should have a few days to make your mind up.
Hope today goes well.
pollyx

mellymoo74

We are moving
Er
Kinda need here to be neat by Thursday
Oops