talk me down please

Gigervamp

That's a happy face!

mellymoo74

She has her favourite things, garden and mummy.
She's a happy girl Froo is she wagged her tail at T again *boo unfortunately wrecked it by barking

mellymoo74

It's going to be a fab weekend judging by the noise.

This means OHs mood has got even worse

meritaten

brilliant pic - I had to grin back!


melly - I would be having a pavement BBQ with all the friendly neighbours around, kids screaming, loud music playing - just at 12.00 midnight. and they aren't invited!

mellymoo74

Am fantasising about glossing their car and breaking legs.

OH just had another meltdown apparently it's my fault the water pressure is off.
Told him to stop being a !!!!!!, that I understand he's upset but it has !!!!!! all to do with me so his behaviour better improve

mellymoo74

And he's said sorry and got upset.

He said he didn't know what had set him off, I do and Monday I will be speaking to the bank manager and the police.
I am doing it for two reason 1 it's the right thing to do 2 they stole his mum's last birthday from him it's payback.

wannabe_sybil

Are you reporting the noise to the Environmental Health?

mellymoo74

Hi WS recording it going to take the recordings with me to shelter Thurs

pinkandblueshoe

Why not call the police when the noise starts? You can do it anonymously. If there are numerous call outs the police will get fed up and send a report to the HA about being repeatedly called out. Everything you are doing right now seems as if you are putting an elastoplast on a broken limb. You are used to functioning on a certain level of chaos, you need to try and stop this. Not just environmental health, police and task force as well. And making a formal complaint to the housing association about the noise. They should have a complaints procedure.

It doesn't need to be problems every single day. Lots of people live with problem neighbours day in and day out and it's awful. But I think you were being unrealistic in thinking that the HA would move you next door. And what would happen if you got the move and someone upstairs moved out and a noisy neighbour moved in in their place?

You are carrying too much of a load but you aren't helping yourself. Stop making excuses as to why you cant get your health issues sorted out. Yes its terrifying thinking that something might be really wrong, but that isn't a good enough excuse to let things drift when you are having symptoms. Neither is the thought of spending a few days in hospital. I know your OH has had it really tough over the years and he's still grieving, but if he cant be on his own for a few days without things falling apart for him something is very very wrong. You wont be evicted if you end up in hospital, it wont happen like that. Your health matters. If you cant physically do something, don't do it. Bottom line.

And from reading the thread, sorry, but your husband is treating you appallingly, tough times or no tough times. Its not acceptable for you to be on the receiving end of all his mini meltdowns. You arent his emotional punchbag. Dont make excuses for him. Lots of people go through all sorts of hell and they don't take it out on their nearest and dearest.

I think you should look into getting some counselling for yourself as well as your OH, because the way you are living right now, you might be used to it, but it's no way to live.

To be honest with you, I wouldn't be going anywhere near a meeting with the HA, even with an MP and shelter involved, because you aren't the guilty party here. If you have been paying rent and there's been no issue with anti social behaviour on your part why on earth are they bulldozing you into a meeting when you haven't actually broken any of the conditions of your tenancy agreement.

You've had a very tough time, its clear from this thread, but its pages and pages of, I cant do this because and I cant do that because.

Stop carrying other people's issues all the time. Your OH needs to deal with whats gone on in his life with professional support and yes you need to cope with the fallout at times, but hes not a child. Hes an adult, he has to take responsibility for his horrible behaviour towards you when hes being horrible.

Would he do that to someone he met in the street? A shopkeeper? Bank manager? If no, its really not acceptable for you to be on the receiving end of all these meltdowns.

Id have kicked his backside to the kerb by now Im afraid even if it was until he sorted himself out.

pebbles88

pinkandblueshoe wrote: »

Why not call the police when the noise starts? You can do it anonymously. If there are numerous call outs the police will get fed up and send a report to the HA about being repeatedly called out. Everything you are doing right now seems as if you are putting an elastoplast on a broken limb. You are used to functioning on a certain level of chaos, you need to try and stop this. Not just environmental health, police and task force as well. And making a formal complaint to the housing association about the noise. They should have a complaints procedure.

It doesn't need to be problems every single day. Lots of people live with problem neighbours day in and day out and it's awful. But I think you were being unrealistic in thinking that the HA would move you next door. And what would happen if you got the move and someone upstairs moved out and a noisy neighbour moved in in their place?

You are carrying too much of a load but you aren't helping yourself. Stop making excuses as to why you cant get your health issues sorted out. Yes its terrifying thinking that something might be really wrong, but that isn't a good enough excuse to let things drift when you are having symptoms. Neither is the thought of spending a few days in hospital. I know your OH has had it really tough over the years and he's still grieving, but if he cant be on his own for a few days without things falling apart for him something is very very wrong. You wont be evicted if you end up in hospital, it wont happen like that. Your health matters. If you cant physically do something, don't do it. Bottom line.

And from reading the thread, sorry, but your husband is treating you appallingly, tough times or no tough times. Its not acceptable for you to be on the receiving end of all his mini meltdowns. You arent his emotional punchbag. Dont make excuses for him. Lots of people go through all sorts of hell and they don't take it out on their nearest and dearest.

I think you should look into getting some counselling for yourself as well as your OH, because the way you are living right now, you might be used to it, but it's no way to live.

To be honest with you, I wouldn't be going anywhere near a meeting with the HA, even with an MP and shelter involved, because you aren't the guilty party here. If you have been paying rent and there's been no issue with anti social behaviour on your part why on earth are they bulldozing you into a meeting when you haven't actually broken any of the conditions of your tenancy agreement.

You've had a very tough time, its clear from this thread, but its pages and pages of, I cant do this because and I cant do that because.

Stop carrying other people's issues all the time. Your OH needs to deal with whats gone on in his life with professional support and yes you need to cope with the fallout at times, but hes not a child. Hes an adult, he has to take responsibility for his horrible behaviour towards you when hes being horrible.

Would he do that to someone he met in the street? A shopkeeper? Bank manager? If no, its really not acceptable for you to be on the receiving end of all these meltdowns.

Id have kicked his backside to the kerb by now Im afraid even if it was until he sorted himself out.

Shoes, I think from your name & posting style that I know who you were on here, & if I'm correct, you didn't like the op's actions several weeks ago & stated you wouldn't post again on the thread..

If I'm wrong, I apologise....

Nobody knows what exactly goes on in each relationship, & it's no ones business but the op's. This whole thread is about the op venting as unfortunately she doesn't have anywhere else too, the support she gets on here, may be the only thing that is keeping her sane. I don't think it's appropriate to tear her whole lifestyle apart.

You may be right, but if you don't like what she's saying, don't read the thread. I don't think it would take much to really push her over the edge, she's doing the best she can at the moment.