talk me down please

JaniceS

Ive been lurking on the boards for quite some time. What is the issue with the house? Was your OH entitled to have the house passed to him? If not its awful that they let it before your MIL died, but I dont understand why this is such a big issue at the moment. If you need to move why would you want to move there? I agree with the person earlier in the thread that it's possibly a better idea to get a fresh start.

As for your OH, hes clearly been through a terrible time of it, but you sound as if you are just used to the way he treats you. It's not acceptable no matter what he's had to put up with lately.

You need to look after yourself. Counselling doesn't just magically appear when people need it. Particularly in times where resources are being cut all over the place. Your GP should be able to offer generic counselling, maybe 5 or 6 sessions. Your work might be able to offer employee counselling (I know you said you contract but you've referred to a boss a few times). There are plenty of self help books and resources free online. I think something needs to be sorted and soon because your posts look as if you've resigned yourself to this being the way it is and you need to just carry on and shoulder it all. You don't.

As for the cat, if you think he's at risk with your two dogs, you said that if you hadn't separated them when you did he would have been dead. Id rehome him, for his sake. He's attached to you and its going to get harder for you and for him and if your OH isn't in the mental state to deal with the animals fighting you could be at work and anything could happen.

Also, you aren't going to be any use to anyone eating a quarter of a smoothie a day, you'll end up in hospital if you aren't careful.

Your OH has been through a terrible time but he has choices, he can either stay locked into the poor old me mode or he can get some help and move forward with his life and realise hopefully with proper professional help that just because his mum and other toxic siblings said that certain situations were right and proper, they actually aren't how many families function.

I wish you all well.

mellymoo74

Mr T has his new tag.
tonight I shall mainly be putting this on him and going out with him for 1/2 hour.
By the end of this week he will be able to go out on his own.

MP has info, GP called to arrange an appointment for both of us.
back to work.

mellymoo74

Dig meant to say, 4 of my 14 cuttings have taken..........

DigForVictory

Attagal! That's an *excellent* hit rate - now to nurse them on gently and scheme where to plant them. I'd offer one to a knowledgeable gardening mate who I trust so I could go back for further cuttings as insurance & then scheme some more!
Try for a second wave of cuttings now the whole "let's grow!" idea is beginning to get a grip? Ask any gardener, with cuttings More is always better...

Oh yes, & huge hugs to you, OH, & all fourpaws - may your health recover as the cuttings thrive!

mellymoo74

This is following a lovely lie on my chest, with his nose touching mine purring for about an hour

mellymoo74

Hes a bit frowny, was working up to a big love.
Another supervised out tonight and tomorrow then Friday he is going to be allowed out on his own.

dragonette

Hopefully, the increased space with Mr T getting out alone will help with the friction with the dogs

Still sending you lots of positive vibes x

mellymoo74

Getting a pet calming spot on tomorrow for Mrs in particular hopefully that will help.

mellymoo74

Mr T just had his first territory discussion. Think he won

mellymoo74

Someone is not my friend cos I made them come in so no cuddle for me lol