Realism Vs Idealism?

Fredula

I'm not sure if I'm living in a dream world but I get so annoyed with the television and wanted to know if other people feel the same or if it's just me.

Just a bit of background info which is kinda relevant to my issue. I live with my parents, my husband and my 2 year old. We have our own living room, they have theirs. Ours doesn't have that much natural light in it as the conservatory is built onto the wall outside our window so it restricts the amount of light which comes in.

So my issue is that after working a 40 hour week, aside from me constantly asking OH to take kiddo out for an hour or two on the weekend so I can get on with our half of the housework - he doesn't. But not only does he not (so I have to try and clean round them, etc) but the television is on from the moment he gets up, to the moment he goes to bed. There is no peace from it. I hate it. My whole weekend is consumed with the television unless I make plans to go out, and then I get a break from it.

It's just I feel that in such a small space where 3 people are, having the TV on all the time is just....ARGH. It doesn't give me time to 'think'. When it's on you're just drawn to it. My son is addicted to the TV and he's two, and this is what gets on my nerves more than anything. His Dad is more concerned about watching the television than playing with him. I play with him a lot, get on the floor, roll around, play trains, pretend buses etc. But when I'm not in the room and OH is watching him (e.g, I might be preparing tea), OH is either watching TV not paying attention to our son or he's reading his kindle.

Is it just me that finds the idea of the TV being on from the moment someone wakes up to the moment they go to bed, the most frustrating thing ever?! (I only watch 2 programmes per week - OBEM and Great British Sewing bee). I could happily live without it.

Kayalana99

Well just a small comment perhaps you are feeling stressed due to lack of space?

I can see their are a few issues with your OH here but I am sure someone will be of more help their.

thehappybutterfly

I feel like Im stalking you Fred!

This is my pet hate too. I get up quite early all the time, inc the weekends. I like to catch up on MSE and read a few chapters on my Kindle while having a couple if coffees. No TV! Hubby gets up and the first thing he does is switch on the tellybox. There's so much crap on just now and it drives me insane.

Ive been off sick for about three months and it's telly free all day until hubby comes in from work. It's a habit I think.

whodathunkit

It would drive me mad - did he do it before you became pregnant?

Alikay

Maybe living with parents (albeit yours, not his) means your DH has regressed to behaving like a teenager rather than a grown man with a wife and child.

Is there any way you could move out into your own place, and establish some ground rules about sharing household tasks, spending quality time together and caring for your little boy?

thehappybutterfly

Personally, I would ban the tv during the day especially for the wee one. It is distracting even when the volume is down. Obviously your hubby finds it quite relaxing (as does mine) but it's your free time too.

What about a compromise? It goes on when there's something he dpecifically wants to watch, e.g. rugby, a film but the rest of the time it's switched off.

Georgiegirl256

I agree to a certain extent. I love watching the soaps, and most trash reality tv programmes, but in general, and during the day I hardly ever have it on because A, the tv is fairly crap during the day, and B, I like to have the peace and quiet sometimes.

My husband on the other hand, sounds abit like yours in that he seems like he needs the background noise, and needs it to be on, and channel flicks....I hate that! As soon as he comes into the room he puts the damned tv on, even if he isn't really watching it, it's like he just needs it to be on. It's infuriating! :mad:

Georgiegirl256

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

This is my pet hate too. I get up quite early all the time, inc the weekends. I like to catch up on MSE and read a few chapters on my Kindle while having a couple if coffees. No TV! Hubby gets up and the first thing he does is switch on the tellybox. There's so much crap on just now and it drives me insane.

Ive been off sick for about three months and it's telly free all day until hubby comes in from work. It's a habit I think.

This is me and my husband to a tee! ^^^^

Fredula

He didn't live with us before I was pregnant. He moved in a couple of days before I came out of hospital after having our son.

We moved out breifly last year but had to move back in as he was off work with kidney stones and my parents didn't want us to lose all the money we'd worked hard for to save for our deposit. We're hoping to move out at the end of this year.

When we lived on our own he was just always in. He wouldn't go out. Unless I suggest going out, he's quite happy to sit at home and watch TV, play X box or World of Warcraft. His job is a community support worker so his excuse is 'I do the whole going out places all week, why would I want to do it at home'. I got so fed up with it this week that this morning, I took our son out to the farm and library, left a list of the chores which needed doing with OH for him to get on with. This worked, but I'm sure eventually he will start moaning about it.

I just never feel like I've got any space. He just annoys me. When we lived on our own he would forever be around me. Like if I decided to go upstairs to have some time on my own / do something in the bedroom he would be up there. I just feel suffocated because he's always in the house. If I go out to the kitchen to do cooking, sometimes he will just come and stand there and linger (I get moody and tell him to get out of the way - because that's what it is). But like even the other day, H was in the bath in the kitchen (we've got a shower so he baths in a tub made for the garden) and I said to OH I was going to go and ask my parents something (he was in the kitchen as well) and I went in their living room and he followed me, to which I was like "Well, we can't both go in here whilst there's a toddler in the bath, can we"....

Blah. I don't know. This problem just keeps going on and on. Last year I literally got to the point where I didn't know if I wanted to be with him anymore because of it. If I ask him to go out or give me some time on my own at home (he gets time on his own at home when I go to the gym, etc) then he makes me feel guilty because he'll say, "What do you want me to do, go to the cinema on my own". But in a really 'feel sorry for me' way.

Mojisola

Fredula wrote: »

his excuse is 'I do the whole going out places all week, why would I want to do it at home'.

Because he's a parent and he should trying to do his best for his son!

Watching TV every waking hour will affect your child's development.

Alikay

Gosh - he does sound wet and irritating! I guess he must be capable of taking responsibility at some level, due to his job but doesn't seem to use initiative in his personal life. I doubt that you behaving like his mother in directing him all the time helps him step out of that rather pathetic role either. Was he like this before you married him or has it developed recently?