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How is everyone's routine?

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  • liney
    liney Posts: 5,121 Forumite
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    edited 14 April 2014 at 11:46AM
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    If you have problems getting your son to sleep until 9pm, then maybe you shuld look at the timing of his PM nap. My son would sleep from 7.30pm - 7.30am following bath and bottle, as long as his PM nap did not stretch beyond 3.30pm.

    I would probably try feeding him at 6pm instead of 7pm so that he had bath an play time earlier too.

    Also, if you haven't already, get black out blinds for his bedroom or you may find that he begins to wake earlier as summer approaches!
    "On behalf of teachers, I'd like to dedicate this award to Michael Gove and I mean dedicate in the Anglo Saxon sense which means insert roughly into the anus of." My hero, Mr Steer.
  • joshp1407
    joshp1407 Posts: 11 Forumite
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    Thank you everyone for all your advice. I'm starting to feel that my negativity might be affecting both my OH and son, so just knowing that I'm not alone has been a massive boost, and hopefully should help the situation.

    I like the debate too, I tend to lean towards to the gentle guidance into sleep, but we'll invariably not force him into anything. After all, he's only 8 months old, he only recently found his foot tastes nice, so I doubt he will understand why mum and dad are forcing him to sleep on his own!

    Black out blinds are a great idea, I've noticed him waking up slightly earlier now it's brighter!
  • NoAngel
    NoAngel Posts: 774 Forumite
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    Well done on being such a supportive Dad! My DH doesn't do anywhere near as much as you and I'm sure your partner is very grateful.

    My LO is also 8 months but we put her to bed at 7pm ish. We just pop her into the cot after a bath, read a story and leave her. She just goes off on her own. We started doing this at around 2 months old and she has slept through the night since then (12-14 hours). It took about 2 weeks to get into this routine, so if its something you're considering then its worth giving yourselves some time.

    Also, its useful if baby gets used to both parents doing all of the jobs - we take it in turns to put her to bed, feed her, bath her etc.

    Hope this helps.
  • pollyanna24
    pollyanna24 Posts: 4,370 Forumite
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    Just wanted to say that it does get easier over time.

    My little girls are 5 and 3, and I've been a single mum since they were 2 and 2 months old.

    I honestly don't think I could do the first two years again, but now they are older, I am finding everything a lot easier (or maybe you just get better with time, who knows?). But I used to find the no down time horrible. My youngest was not a good sleeper and I don't think I got any decent sleep until she was 2 1/2!

    And down time and sleep are very important. Now that I get these, I find that I enjoy my children more. And think of things that I can do with them when I'm not at work/they're not at school etc.
    Pink Sproglettes born 2008 and 2010
    Mortgages (End 2017) - £180,235.03
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  • ManofLeisure_2
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    I would also like to say that things will get easier in time. I'm a father of 4 (all grown and left the nest) and boy it was hard work when they were young. It did turn out ok in the end :)

    Well done for being so supportive of your wife and such a good father :)
  • themull1
    themull1 Posts: 4,299 Forumite
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    joshp1407 wrote: »
    I've been reading a few threads on this board and it seems that there is a consensus that we all want to be the best dads possible, but struggle managing to fit enough hours in the day. I was wondering what people's routine is, and does this ever change? I'm a fairly young dad (23) with a 8 month old, so any perspective from anyone would be fantastic

    For me:
    6:30 Baby wakes up. I get up with him as his mother has been up during the night with feeds etc (he's breast fed)
    8:30 Wake up mother to allow up both a little time together for breakfast
    9:30 Leave for work
    10:00-18:00 Work
    18:45 Arrive home and get changed
    19:00 Eat (all three of us, little one is on some solids)
    19:30 Wind down with baby
    20:00 Take him to bed (he's not great for sleep, needs a lot of help)
    21:00 Finally get downstairs
    21:30 Too tired to continue, bed.

    I literally don't ever find time for anything except on the bus to and from work. Which isn't really enough time to be doing anything productive, like sorting out finances, and trying to sort out a house purchase!

    Does anyone else find that time just doesn't exist? I feel that I'm so tired that I can't give the little man all the attention he needs/I want to give him. I'm up now writing this, but I know that I'm going to regret it at 2 and 4AM when he's awake.

    Don't want this to sound like a whine or a moan (he's the best thing ever to happen), but I literally haven't spoken to any dads my age (or older) since the baby was born, I want to know what you guys (or girls) do?

    Can your wife not sort out finances/house purchase when the baby is asleep, or you on your lunch break at work?
  • Kynthia
    Kynthia Posts: 5,669 Forumite
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    We're in the middle of this now with a 5 month old, although my OH gets less baby time than you due to a longer commute which breaks his heart. It does feel like our whole evening is gone due to doing stuff continuously. However I would expect that by 8 months our child will be falling asleep herself better rather than needing one of us for an hour. Currently she does take a bit of time to sleep but we try to keep our input to a minimum, but obviously going to her when she gets upset and reassuring her. The whole bath routine has helped as well as bringing forward the bedtime. Perhaps you could do some research on how to help your child get to sleep themselves, I've heard the No Cry Sleep Solution book is good, particularly for breast fed babies, and is not really strict but I've not read it myself. Also are you sure your child isn't tired earlier as most babies tend to go to bed a lot earlier, and it's easier for them to go to sleep when they aren't too tired. However not all babies are the same so only you know.
    Don't listen to me, I'm no expert!
  • notanewuser
    notanewuser Posts: 8,499 Forumite
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    Kynthia wrote: »
    We're in the middle of this now with a 5 month old, although my OH gets less baby time than you due to a longer commute which breaks his heart. It does feel like our whole evening is gone due to doing stuff continuously. However I would expect that by 8 months our child will be falling asleep herself better rather than needing one of us for an hour. Currently she does take a bit of time to sleep but we try to keep our input to a minimum, but obviously going to her when she gets upset and reassuring her. The whole bath routine has helped as well as bringing forward the bedtime. Perhaps you could do some research on how to help your child get to sleep themselves, I've heard the No Cry Sleep Solution book is good, particularly for breast fed babies, and is not really strict but I've not read it myself. Also are you sure your child isn't tired earlier as most babies tend to go to bed a lot earlier, and it's easier for them to go to sleep when they aren't too tired. However not all babies are the same so only you know.

    Why would you expect that?

    Not all babies fall into the 7-7 "ideal". My daughter never has. I'm glad, actually, as DH has been able to spend real quality time with her after work, we can eat out, visit friends of an evening etc without being beholden to some awful deadline. ;)

    (The 7-7 thing mystifies me. It has sod all to do with the babies and everything to do with parental desires.)
    Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman
  • Kynthia
    Kynthia Posts: 5,669 Forumite
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    Why would you expect that?

    Because she doesn't need us to help her for an hour now and needs less help with each passing month. What's my bolded comment got to do with 7pm-7am? Stop being defensive as I'm talking about my daughter not your children.

    Surely you don't think it's ideal for an 8 month old to need an hour of a parent's help to sleep as eventually children should be able to go to sleep themselves whenever their bedtime is? So parents should be working towards that, and I don't mean through controlled crying before you accuse me of that.
    Don't listen to me, I'm no expert!
  • DigForVictory
    DigForVictory Posts: 11,914 Forumite
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    Each family is different & every baby is a unique little individual. (Inflect that as you feel the need...)

    Routine is wonderful but shouldn't enslave parents or child - and if you are night owls with a lark baby, you are in for a parroty time almost no matter what your routine. By all means keep an eye on the clock for work, but at home? Nothing wrong with child falling asleep on you downstairs so long as they stay out when transferred to cot.

    (I'm certain someone will disagree, but a drowsy or sleeping child does not need to to be in a designated area other than withindoors usually.)

    All the very best & be assured, this month's problem will change in a few more weeks. (Just shorter days will nudge you all!)
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