How is everyone's routine?

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  • couponqueen123
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    My daughter is a brilliant sleeper. Always has been. She just doesn't sleep early. Nothing to do with television or games. As we've never needed her up at the crack of dawn and we value her having quality time with daddy after work, that's what works for us. There's an awful lot of science behind baby and toddler sleep and so called sleep training has been shown to be pretty harmful in the long term.

    I suppose its a bit different if you need them up and out early (for work or whatever) but frankly 12 hours sleep is 12 hours sleep whether it's from 7 till 7 or 9 till 9. ;)

    (Took me a while to work our what your last sentence said.)

    with out this sounding rude where is the science?

    what harm can sleep do?
  • notanewuser
    notanewuser Posts: 8,499 Forumite
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    with out this sounding rude where is the science?

    what harm can sleep do?

    It's not sleep that's harmful. It's not sleeping in line with the child's own circadian rhythms. If they're naturally an owl, you shouldn't make them sleep like a lark. Will find you the articles now.
    Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman
  • notanewuser
    notanewuser Posts: 8,499 Forumite
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    Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman
  • couponqueen123
    couponqueen123 Posts: 2,393 Forumite
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    thanks very much ill shall be having a look while i eat my tea in bit thanks
  • aeb_2
    aeb_2 Posts: 556 Forumite
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    Thank you, an interesting article

    By 3 months old my identical triple girls were quite different, one usually sleeping first and waking early and the other sleeping later and waking last. In fact this was how I could tell the difference for the first 6 months or so. Now they are 4 and sleeping is still the same. Their brother is an early bird and early to bed boy.

    As for routine I think every family finds their own. Mine always changed to suit the seasons along with the ages of the children. My late husband was never a hands on dad. OP, you sound very thoughtful, make the most of the weekends, you will find a routine to suit you all soon.

    aims for 2014 - grow more fruit and veg, declutter
  • double_mummy
    double_mummy Posts: 3,989 Forumite
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    Hideous and selfish.

    and why is putting a child to bed and leaving them there hideous and selfish?
    The only people I have to answer to are my beautiful babies aged 8 and 5
  • notanewuser
    notanewuser Posts: 8,499 Forumite
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    and why is putting a child to bed and leaving them there hideous and selfish?

    Because your need to get away from them is selfish (it's for you) and expecting them to be okay with being dumped on their own as babies is pretty hideous (ignoring their needs).
    Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman
  • aimeemum
    aimeemum Posts: 687 Forumite
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    Thing that stands out to me is that you don't have any 'down time'. It is hard - I've been there when I worked when my eldest was small, and it's a juggling act at best.

    Does your OH work?

    Call me old fashioned but I do all night feeds (bottle fed babies all 3) and I get up every morning as my hubby works/studies. He needs to be refreshed and able to work (he's a bus driver when he's not at Uni) and he's studying to better our situation and I help him by taking on the majority of the childcare. If I get very overwhelmed or over-tired then yes, I'll ask for help or take a nap while eldest is at pre-school and the other 2 nap, but that's rare, and to be honest after 4.5 years I'm conditioned to function on around 5.5 hours of broken sleep lol.

    I would say you need to take it in turns getting up in a morning, even if it's just to allow the other one to take a shower this would show you some support and allow you both to rest a bit more.

    Days off as well, who does what then. Like you say you need to get on with things as well as look after the LO, so you need to work together and give each other time.

    I would also say that LO should be in bed a little earlier, or at least falling asleep pretty quickly by himself. I would take some time to encourage him to learn to self settle, and claim back a bit of the evenings to yourselves. You could try the old 'bath, boob, bed' routine which has worked with all 3 of mine - substitute boob with bottle for me though! lol - and I have an 8mo who goes to bed at 7pm with the other 2 every night.....usually the house is quiet by 7.30.

    It does get easier as they get older but my advice is rather than fighting it, just go with it. He will soon be sleeping through, he'll soon be self-settling, and he'll soon be running you ragged when he's walking and talking. :)
    Changing my Family's Future!! - Starting again!!!!
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  • notanewuser
    notanewuser Posts: 8,499 Forumite
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    "It is however, just not possible to live up to this ideal whilst also responding to the normal and natural needs of our infants. Something has to give and sadly, very often, it is the needs of our children. We sleep train our children in order that they fit into our modern lives more easily, we fool ourselves into believing that it is our offspring that have ‘sleep problems’ rather than opening our eyes to the real problem – that is the disharmony between the primal needs of our young and the expectations of the modern world. Who really has the problem?"

    http://sarahockwell-smith.com/tag/baby-sleep-expert/
    Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman
  • aimeemum
    aimeemum Posts: 687 Forumite
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    "It is however, just not possible to live up to this ideal whilst also responding to the normal and natural needs of our infants. Something has to give and sadly, very often, it is the needs of our children. We sleep train our children in order that they fit into our modern lives more easily, we fool ourselves into believing that it is our offspring that have ‘sleep problems’ rather than opening our eyes to the real problem – that is the disharmony between the primal needs of our young and the expectations of the modern world. Who really has the problem?"

    http://sarahockwell-smith.com/tag/baby-sleep-expert/

    Agree but one has to adapt to ones own circumstances. Unfortunately, work hours are dictated, and being tired is not a desirable trait in an employee. It has detrimental effects on everything and everyone and can lead to health problems if you're not getting enough deep and restorative sleep. Sleep is when children learn and develop. In my own opinion the best thing you can do for your child is give them opportunity to sleep regularly and well.

    Children are very adaptable creatures and while I understand that some people are 'night owls' and others are 'larks' I do believe in the power of a routine with children. I speak from experience, I have 3 of my own, and I understand that in order to be a happy family, some compromise has to be reached. That to me means a steady and consistent bedtime routine for ALL of my children. Maybe I'm lucky, but all of mine have aligned themselves to a reasonable bedtime before 6m. I wont lie, I did my share to persuade them, but I would never say that I'm ignoring or not responding to the 'normal and natural needs of our infants'. Crikey none of mine have STTN consistently prior to 1 year - I feed them, hold them and administer what they need, and that includes sleeping within the framework of the rest of the family.

    Sorry OP - didn't mean to get into a debate. Hope you find these posts helpful.
    Changing my Family's Future!! - Starting again!!!!
    Current Progress -
    Debt - Start date 31/8/22 = £7,252.78
    Savings 31/8/22 - £0
    plus £1000 EF - £0/£1000 = 0%
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