The Big Adventure

Karmacat

Great post, Goldie!

Scrapbooks make me hesitate too ... they seem so bulky in themselves, even without all the stuff that goes in them. So even though plenty of people I respect use them, I can't go for them doing it digitally, on the condition that there's lots of backups (I have three: an old laptop, an external hard drive, and a flash drive :rotfl:) (oh, plus my kindle, four, for some things) is the way forward for me. I have a good system of folders on my computer, I can find almost anything in a minute or so.

I know what you mean about the Alzheimer's too: my dad had vascular dementia, but the symptoms are very similar. My mum had several photos reprinted and put them up in his bedroom, so all his carers could see the man he had been, as well as the invalid he was by then. And it helped to have them up there to talk to him about too ...

Goldiegirl

Karmacat wrote: »

I know what you mean about the Alzheimer's too: my dad had vascular dementia, but the symptoms are very similar. My mum had several photos reprinted and put them up in his bedroom, so all his carers could see the man he had been, as well as the invalid he was by then. And it helped to have them up there to talk to him about too ...

That's exactly what I did for my mum's room at the care home.


I took copies of lots of photos from throughout her life, and had them in frames.


I used to talk to her about them, although as time went on she was remembering less and less.


Dementia is so cruel. But on the other hand, my dad died just at the time she was getting bad, so I don't think she had to grieve for him, as she didn't really remember him. Which is a blessing, in some ways

Karmacat

I can understand that, even though it must have been hell for you to go through ...

Goldiegirl

My dad died in 2004, and my mum died in 2008.

Those 4 years were probably the worst I've experienced, on so many levels.

I felt that I'd lost my mum and dad at the same time, as my mum was just getting to the point where she couldn't be left alone, and her memories had gone.

So I was dealing with that, but I also had all the practical stuff to do, such as dealing with my dad's estate, taking over my mum's affairs and clearing their house and giving up the tenancy.

I'm an only child, and although I had wonderful support from Mr Goldie, all the things that had to be done, had to be done by me.

But, gradually I went through everything, and came out the other side.

I think the human mind is amazing, because I can't *remember* just how bad it actually was.

I'm rather glad that I wasn't made redundant until 2009, as a redundancy on top of the rest of it may have been too much.

It's certainly a period of time that was tough, but I don't think about it much now, just remember the good times with my mum and dad.

Goldiegirl

Today I've mainly just done housework types of things, although we also went out for a walk earlier.


A small amount of de-cluttering has been done - a bit more paperwork (where does it all come from?) and three things sold on eBay.


I'm meeting some friends for tea, including the friend whose things I sell on eBay. She said she has another batch to pass to me.


This'll get interesting, when I start on her things and also keep on with my own de-cluttering

Karmacat

Thanks for that additional post, Goldie.

And how civilised to meet friends for tea!!! I like it

maggiem

Goldiegirl wrote: »

It's certainly a period of time that was tough, but I don't think about it much now, just remember the good times with my mum and dad.

What a lovely reassuring post to read for those of us going through the elderly parent(s) in care home with dementia scenario. It's hard to 'find' your Mum or Dad in the person they have become when their short term memory is such they don't recall much loved grandchildren or family history. Great to hear after a time being able to not think about that but to recall good times. Thank you

Goldiegirl

Hi Maggie, I'm sorry to hear that you are going through the care home situation. It's horrible for everyone involved, especially when your loved ones get confused about who everybody is, or start behaving in an out of character way.

My mum started thinking I was her sister, which I didn't mind too much, as she still knew I was someone important in her life, and even later, she still knew I was someone significant, even if she remember I was her daughter.

But what I found really difficult was that she seemed to forget my dad really quickly after he died, and even worse, developed attachments to male residents of her care home, and would even get quite aggressive if other female residents went near her favourite :eek:

Rationally, I knew it was the illness. My mum was previously mild mannered and devoted to my dad, so it was mentally really hard for me to cope with this new behaviour.

I'm glad I could offer some reassurance about the future.

Goldiegirl

Had a pleasant evening with my friends yesterday, but came back with about 25 items to eBay.


This morning we went to Dobbies for our January free coffees, and also bought some bird seed for the bird table. Our birds seem to be very hungry all the time.


This afternoon I've photoed and prepared for listing four of the eBay items - will try to do a few each day.


Because of this, nothing decluttered today. As far as I know we've got no plans for tomorrow, so I'll try and do some decluttering tomorrow, as well as listing


I'm now going to start an experimental dish for dinner - root vegetable curry. First time I've done this one, hopefully it'll be nice

Karmacat

Good luck with the curry! I'm sure it'll be fine

I've only been to a Dobbie's once, up in Lancashire - I was very impressed