Ready to leave hospital???

poet123

Ruby we had this with my mother, she was dying of cancer and she was in a lovely room in the local hospital. They wanted to ship her out to a nursing home. Like your situation she had weeks at most to live. I asked what happened when she deteriorated, they said she will come back in here. She didn't want to come to my house as she didn't want my kids to see her die. I made my mind up that I was not having her shunted back and forth and I dug my heels in.

I fought them every step of the way, had to go to a multi disciplinary tribunal, I had to get the NHS guidelines for nursing care and quote them. I stalled meetings. In short I made them account for their rationale for moving her when she needed expert nursing care. I won, five days later she died.

I feel bitter to this day that my last days with her were marred by all the issues. I would do it again though if needed. I hope you manage to stand firm under the pressure they will undoubtedly apply and the emotional blackmail they will try; bed blocking etc. In my view my mother was as entitled to that bed as anyone, she was dying, how can you be blocking a bed under those circumstances?

I really feel for those without advocates, they are pushed from pillar to post.

Good luck.

Ruby_woo

Hello everyone

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

It's been a dreadful day and I didn't get to sleep til 5:30 this morning so I'm exhausted.

Hospital have said mum is ready to be moved on and they want their bed. I have been saying since last thurs she wasn't right and confused but they didn't listen. They wanted their meeting today and to make a decision.

Well I got to the hospital today and mum said she was going to kill herself and it would be on my conscience, dreadful things that didn't make sense. She has never been like this before. I had put on email to the ward manager that mum had been ill all weekend and that the confusion wasn't right and asked them to get a dr. Dr arrived and mum has an urine infection so that explains that. So for now she stays in hospital.

She is so ill but they still say weeks or months so I guess I'm back to the drawing board next week with them. They have applied for nhs continuing health care but say we won't get it.

I'm so tired so going to have an hour sleep before going back.

I appreciate your help and any advice is very much appreciated.

X

Person_one

Ruby woo, here's some information about continuing healthcare, it includes the checklist that's used to determine whether funding will be awarded. It might be a good idea to familiarise yourself with it and see what you think your mum might score if you were assessing her:

https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/213138/NHS-CHC-Checklist-FINAL.pdf

It might be that once the UTI is cleared up, she's more herself again and you might be able to have a more rational conversation about the possibility of a nursing home.

koan_2

You need to ask them who is medically responsible for her. Preferably ask in writing, because they can try and fob you off on the phone or in person.

I would think at the moment it's them, and even the NHS wouldn't throw an elderly lady out on the street.

Ruby_woo

If I were to post all of the issues we have had over the last few weeks you would be amazed... I have had to fight every step of the way and it's exhausting. I feel that everything has been a battle and taking over what should be precious time. So so sad.

Right off again now xx

Person_one

Ruby_woo wrote: »

If I were to post all of the issues we have had over the last few weeks you would be amazed... I have had to fight every step of the way and it's exhausting. I feel that everything has been a battle and taking over what should be precious time. So so sad.

Right off again now xx

It sounds like you might need somebody to act as an advocate for your family, who knows the ins and outs.

Are you in contact with Macmillan at all?

What are your father's illnesses?

thorsoak

Ruby - look here :- http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Ifsomeoneelsehascancer/Advancedcancer/Caringathome/Caringforsomeoneathome.aspx

They were marvellous for my OH - they supported us for five weeks x

Another linky for you :- http://www.nahh.org.uk/

RuthnJasper

Ruby_woo wrote: »

If I were to post all of the issues we have had over the last few weeks you would be amazed... I have had to fight every step of the way and it's exhausting. I feel that everything has been a battle and taking over what should be precious time. So so sad.

Right off again now xx

I don't have any better advice to offer than what has been posted above - but I wanted to send you a 'virtual hug'. I know how wretched these things are. Your mum is fortunate to have a loving daughter who will stand up for her welfare.

Take care. xx

paulineb_2

I hope that things work out for you and your family, take care.

Mojisola

Ruby_woo wrote: »

sorry no hospice as you have to be within two weeks of end of life to qualify, mum may only have two weeks but it could be months xx

Are you sure about this? No-one can accurately say that someone will die within two weeks.

My uncle was in our local hospice for a couple of months. Other patients were coming and going for respite, others were in and out while medications were sorted out and others were there for terminal care.