Ready to leave hospital???

Ruby_woo

Hi there

My mother has been in hospital for 2 months after an illness which how now become palliaitive and she is end of live with weeks or months to live.

She is nursed in bed and has a multitude of health problems. She is doubly incontinent, needs oxygen 24 hrs a day, in severe pain, very confused, wont ever get out of bed again.

Now the hospital that she is in says that she is medically fit for discharge as she is not going to get better. Infact, she gets worse with infections, has antibiotics, rallies and the same happens again.

The hospital are saying she is not confused and is just playing up. I totally disagree with that as she spilt a very hot cup of tea over herself yesterday and cant remember me visiting etc. Has told me loved ones have died etc etc.

The hospital has applied for NHS continuing health funding but we have been told by the hospital that we wont get it.

I know that they want the bed back but I honestly dont feel that my father will cope with my mum at home as he is unwell mentally and physically himself.

What can I do? What would happen if we said that she couldnt come home yet?

As you can see from the time im posting this, i cant sleep for worry over this.

They have said that my parents can have 4 visits per day with 2 carers at a time. Last visit would be at 9pm and then nothing til 8 or 9am the next day. This would be so difficult with mum being doubly incontinent and very demanding.

I do not know where to go with this and i would really appreciate any advice.

My concerns are very real ones. Another example is that audiology have given mum new hearing aids but they dont seem to work but nurses say they must be working. I havent been able to have a conversation with my mum to see what she wants as she cant hear me and is very poor sighted so cant read what i try to write down.

sorry for rambling.....
many thanks in advance x

neneromanova

Is there not a hospice that you could look to sending her into?

Blackpool_Saver

What a disgrace, what has your GP said?

Ruby_woo

mums gp has said end of life but if they cant say its going to be in the next two weeks then she has to be discharged as its a small community hospital and they are under pressure to have the bed back xx

Ruby_woo

sorry no hospice as you have to be within two weeks of end of life to qualify, mum may only have two weeks but it could be months xx

Blackpool_Saver

then there must be an alternative, suppose she had no relatives, get back on to the GP

Ruby_woo

im going to make an appointment to see the dr tomorrow.

will try and get some sleep now. thanks xx

FBaby

Has your father made it very clear that he couldn't cope, or so far gone along with their suggestions? A hospital is not going to discharge a dying person if they can't be cared properly at home.

You need to raise your concerns immediately. It might be that social care can increased the care received, or arrange for your mum to go to a nursing home but they can't do anything unless you make it clear to them what it is you can or can't do.

Ruby_woo

Fbaby, thanks for your reply.

Hospital are saying that as my mum has mental capability then she can make the decision to go home although family are not happy with this. Mum is refusing to go into a nursing home.

Apart from that i have real worries that he isnt fit enough to go home.

thanks x

Person_one

It sounds like she needs 24 hour care.

If the patient and the family want her to be at home, the maximum care package that most councils will fund is 4 visits a day and they expect family to fill the gaps. Marie Curie can sometimes arrange for someone to come and keep watch overnight, might be worth getting in touch with them.

The other alternative is a nursing home. If her family refuse to care for her at home, she will have to accept this unfortunately whether she likes it or not.

Keep talking to the hospital, make it very very clear that your dad won't accept the responsibility of caring for her.

Hospices can get involved before the last two weeks, and can be a huge help and support. Ask for a referral to your nearest one.

FBaby

I get it. She says that she wants to go home, and in that case, it is very difficult for the authorities to refuse it to her as she does have that choice, as long as care is in place. They have done that and consider that it is enough.

It sounds like you all need to meet to discuss what all this might mean, as for example, as you started, she is incontinent at night. They need to understand, as well she your mum, what your father will be able to cope with and what will be too much for him, and whether a solution can be reached so that your mother's wish to be at home can be met. She must be very scared and fed-up and if she wants to be back at home, surely everything must be done to support that.