How to word a message?

podperson

I doubt she would have accepted your friend request if she was still holding a grudge over what happened back then. But at the same time, try not to get your hopes up that even if you do meet up etc that things are going to be the same as before - people can change a great deal especially in their teenage years and you may find that even if you do meet up again that you won't have that same 'connection' you used to.

Saying that though, it's obviously going to be something you wonder about if you don't try - so I would suggest sending her a message but keep it fairly casual for now. Maybe something like, 'Thanks for accepting my friend request, what are you up to these days? Would be great to meet for a coffee and a catch up.'

Hope it goes well x

This_Year

Poppops wrote: »

If 'best friend' is too childish, what term do you consider appropriate because 'friend' doesn't cut it!

No idea. Never really thought about it other than "how childish that sounds". Visions of little girls skipping round the playground arm in arm. :rotfl:

My friends I know I can rely on and also be there for them without a second thought but I have never seen the need to classify them into best, second best etc. Vaguely insulting to your other friends, too. Do you reclassify the levels of friendship every time you make a new friend?

Just my opinion. Feel free to disagree. I won't mind.

Nicki

What is it about this woman that makes you want her back in your life? She sounds like a complete loser from the off - truanting school more than half the time, beating people up in school, only has one friend to her name, and an out of control brother with all the same issues as a side kick. What did you get from this relationship which is missing from your life now?

To be honest, OP you had to make a choice as a teenager between 3 other friends who were better for you and this girl who most of us would be horrified to learn our own kids were knocking around with. She sounds like the absolute definition of "a bad crowd" that we all worry our children will fall in with. Having made the right decision then, why feel guilty all these years later, and give her a chance to drag you down. Move on.

jenhug

Poppops wrote: »

Why?

I'm 41, my best friend at school is still my best friend. We have a group of friends and all go out, on holiday etc. but she is the one I go to if I'm in trouble and vice versa. Last month I drove to her house at 3am as she was upset.

I love her more than I do my other friends. I literally consider her and her family to be my extended family and I know she feels the same

If 'best friend' is too childish, what term do you consider appropriate because 'friend' doesn't cut it!

Same, I have a friend I love above all others. There is no way I couldn't put the word "Best" in front of her title of friend, its a friendship like no other!

System

I'm 27 and still have best friends, one male (an ex!) and one female. Love them both like a brother or sister. They've been there for me throughout good times and bad, when other "friends" deserted me. Most people it know have best friends and we are all 20's-30's

dandelionclock30

Have you considered going on Jeremy Kyle?, you could be reunited on this and then both start fighting again and get dragged apart by security.

Kayalana99

Thanks for everyones responses, but I just want this thread to die. We've had a few family issues and this has taken a back seat for now.

Poppops

This_Year wrote: »

No idea. Never really thought about it other than "how childish that sounds". Visions of little girls skipping round the playground arm in arm. :rotfl:

My friends I know I can rely on and also be there for them without a second thought but I have never seen the need to classify them into best, second best etc. Vaguely insulting to your other friends, too. Do you reclassify the levels of friendship every time you make a new friend?

Just my opinion. Feel free to disagree. I won't mind.

No I don't

But I don't think I will ever have another friend who I am as close with. I think bonds like that don't come along every day. And that's how it should be

I wouldn't have time to see all my friends as much as I see this one. And our other friends aren't insulted. I'm pretty sure they all have friends they are closer to than they are to either of us

I think having someone that special in your life is lovely and don't think the term should be reflected in any way in a derogatory manner

jetplane

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Thanks for everyones responses, but I just want this thread to die. We've had a few family issues and this has taken a back seat for now.

Maybe she has accepted your friends request to spy on you and plot her revenge.

Sounds like she had a pretty miserable childhood, skipped school, had little money, was bullied by you and your friends, thought violence was acceptable. Maybe she had family issues back then and maybe you were the only friend she had.

And now you want her forgiveness so that you can feel better after all of these years? :think: