How to word a message?

Kayalana99

Hiya Guys,

I had a best friend in school who had an annoying brother they both used to skip school about 2-3 days a week, I don't think their was a whole week that she actually came to school.

I didn't have many friends but I also had a group of 3 other friends at the time.

One of my group of 3 friends didn't like my best friend and got really mardy about it - said I was just a completely different person when I was with BF (Yup this is true - but mainly because I got on with her so much more and we had a laugh and messed about) but what really kicked things of is her brother had no friends. (sorry is this getting complicated ? kid politics!! it is relevant)

So I start hanging around with BF and group of friends - then annoying brother starts hanging around with all of us, one of the group of 3 gets really !!!!ed of and basically said look you either are friends with her or friends with us (And the other two agreed because of the brother)

See - I did the wrong thing here but I picked the group of three friends and I told my BF I couldn't be friends with her anymore - from my first paragraph remember I said she skipped school like 2-3 days a week? Well I basically did it because as much as I would of preferred to be her friend if I *had* stayed with her then I would of been on my own most of the week (or worse I probably would of skipped school more with her)

So this doesn't sound great on her but she flipped out and we ended up having 3-4 proper fights in school I would of just walked away kind of thing but every time she saw me she basically just attacked me and on one occasion her brother punched me and then when he was pulled off me he punched a teacher...so he got expelled.

She left school a month or so after...basically because of me and what happened - so not looking good.

Roll on 7-8? years ...I added her on facebook because to be honest it's still bugging me what happened - I have a new BF, but since her at school I have never really 'clicked' with anyone other then my other BF who I have met the last 2 years.

I suppose one plus side of this is I am actually still friends with 2/3 group & they are decent friends but school is just full of drama..

Anyway - she accepted my friends request at surprise to me, but that was about 2 weeks ago and I really have been super busy

- Guess now would be the time to make contact? Just don't no how to word it, do I mention it and apologies? Do I make a joke saying we was just kids? Do I just not say anything and ask her how shes doing......

I feel like I'm back at school. :rotfl:

Oh and we also made a few nasty comments on her myspace or bebo what ever it was at the time and I feel really bad about that in particular - to expand slightly she didn't have a lot of money and it was all relevant...I am really surprised she accepted my friends request but I am hoping it means something...

Kayalana99

I've really gone on a bit their....whoops.

Kayalana99

We are talking school days here though Twanger... I wouldn't call 3 friends excessive when your in a school of 500+ kids lol.

eskimo26

It sounds chavtastic.

Kayalana99

eskimo26 wrote: »

It sounds chavtastic.

I know the whole thing sounds petty and silly - that's because it WAS at the time, but I am older now and I really regret what happened - her and her brother basically left the school because of it all, so it did end up being a big thing.

I would really like some proper advice on this rather then snide comments - non of us are chavs.

It obviously means a lot to me that I could perhaps re build a friendship with her but I don't know the right way to go about it - I am horrible with these sorts of things.

double_mummy

message should read:

Hi fancy a coffee?

Pollycat

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Anyway - she accepted my friends request at surprise to me, but that was about 2 weeks ago and I really have been super busy

I don't think she would have accepted your 'friend' request if she didn't want to re-establish contact.
Although you could over-think things (I think from your first post that you have a tendency to overthink things ) and wonder if she has accepted your 'friend' request to either see what you are doing with your life through Facebook or to get herself in a position to 'have a go' at you for how you treated her.

Who knows?

I think your initial contact should be friendly and brief, I wouldn't mention what happened at school and certainly wouldn't joke about it.

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Roll on 7-8? years ...I added her on facebook because to be honest it's still bugging me what happened - I have a new BF, but since her at school I have never really 'clicked' with anyone other then my other BF who I have met the last 2 years.

I may be naïve but I thought people only had ONE 'best friend'.
Are you maybe obsessing about collecting 'Best Friends'?

bagpussbear

Sounds like you are living in a little 'in the past' at the moment, perhaps reminiscing of what could have been with your friend, and guilt you made the wrong decision.

Why would you want to reestablish contact with someone that was violent several times with you and got her brother to wallop you one too? I know they were kids, but 7 years isn't that big a gap and sounds like it's possible she may still have the volatile personality.

I'm not sure being in contact now is the best thing for you (in my humble opinion) surely this is going to open old wounds up?

If you suggest a meet up, what's your aim - your best friend back in your life or a chance to say sorry? Are you expecting an apology from her about the attacking you? how will you feel if she doesn't.

I wouldn't necessarily assume because she has accepted your friend request she wants to be friends, could be out of curiousity and wants to look through your photos and just see what you are doing with your life now.

I'd tread carefully OP. But hope it works out for you if you do make contact with her.

liana_y2kuk

Why dont you message her and ask if she would like to go on the Jeremy Kyle show with you. This whole story sounds perfect for that.

Kayalana99

bagpussbear wrote: »

Sounds like you are living in a little 'in the past' at the moment, perhaps reminiscing of what could have been with your friend, and guilt you made the wrong decision.

Why would you want to reestablish contact with someone that was violent several times with you and got her brother to wallop you one too? I know they were kids, but 7 years isn't that big a gap and sounds like it's possible she may still have the volatile personality.

If you suggest a meet up, what's your aim - your best friend back in your life or a chance to say sorry? Are you expecting an apology from her about the attacking you? how will you feel if she doesn't.

She's a bit feisty yes but I wouldn't of called her violent person over all - I think the emotions at the time got the better of her to be honest, I'm not expecting to get an apology off her at all - I am hoping to get my friend back. I havn't really considered the fact she would say sorry/if not, I have always thought myself 100% in the wrong for ditching her.

Their is some guilt their but at the same time I know when your children at school the stupidest things are so important to us (i.e what kind of carrier bag our p.e kit was in) and we make mistakes so I don't beat myself up over what happened but more losing her as a friend.

Kayalana99

Pollycat wrote: »

I don't think she would have accepted your 'friend' request if she didn't want to re-establish contact.
Although you could over-think things (I think from your first post that you have a tendency to overthink things ) and wonder if she has accepted your 'friend' request to either see what you are doing with your life through Facebook or to get herself in a position to 'have a go' at you for how you treated her.

Who knows?

I think your initial contact should be friendly and brief, I wouldn't mention what happened at school and certainly wouldn't joke about it.



I may be naïve but I thought people only had ONE 'best friend'.
Are you maybe obsessing about collecting 'Best Friends'?

I do over think things that's for sure. :rotfl: Yes I think you can only have one best friend but they were best friends at different times of my life.

It could be true she accepted to have a nosy but I think she probably would of deleted me again once she had ? That said it doesn't look like she barely uses facebook so it could be true.