Separation - house rules???

danlojo

Quick one but I think I know the answer.....

Been separated over a year, ex knows I'm seeing another man (he wasnt the reason for the break up).

I am still in the marital home until it is sold. Ex lives elsewhere.

Is the ex able to stop the new man staying with me for a few days for a short break or am I perfectly entitled to have him there?

19lottie82

No your ex can't stop you having your new fella over BUT it's still your ex's house so he can enter at any time.

danlojo

Thanks Lottie

Just deciding to tell ex straight that he will be here or just keep quiet.....I really need to sell this and get my own front door but I'm stuck at the minute

paulineb_2

19lottie82 wrote: »

No your ex can't stop you having your new fella over BUT it's still your ex's house so he can enter at any time.

Legally maybe, but surely theres such a thing as manners, how would anyone like it if their ex just decided to swan into the home they used to live in and park their !!!! on the sofa? Uninvited.

19lottie82

danlojo wrote: »

Thanks Lottie

Just deciding to tell ex straight that he will be here or just keep quiet.....I really need to sell this and get my own front door but I'm stuck at the minute

You don't need to tell your ex anything. It's none of his business.

danlojo

So in reality...my new man is just a friend staying over....we were going to book a hotel close by for 3 nights and have the children with us but I don't see the point in wasting money....

The kids (early teens) are ok with him being here but worry about their dad turning up and what might happen....:(

gizmo111

danlojo wrote: »

So in reality...my new man is just a friend staying over....we were going to book a hotel close by for 3 nights and have the children with us but I don't see the point in wasting money....

The kids (early teens) are ok with him being here but worry about their dad turning up and what might happen....:(

Well there is your answer - until you have you have your place you need to put your children and their worries first.

fivetide

Can you not be old fashioned about it and have a chat with the ex?


If the kids know, chances are he does and if he doesn't are they not in a tricky position trying not to let the cat out of the bag etc? Bit tough on them to worry about seeing their dad and keeping secrets.

danlojo

They know it's not pressure on them.

My children will always come first and my new man knows that too.

We just want more time to be together but this blummin house sale is causing more grief!

FBaby

Even though he still owns part of the house, it is now your residence and therefore he can't do anything about what you do, very much like landlords own a property but can't do what they want because it is not their residence.

You don't need to tell him anything, only reassure him if the issue comes up that you are still dedicated to doing anything for the house to be sold asap.

Delree

I wouldn't worry about it at all. If I were in your position I would have no qualms over having my partner staying.