Nice People Thread Number 11 - A Treasury of Nice People

silvercar

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Oh dear! Are you OK? The whole thing sounds immensely frustrating for you and your DH.

Frustrating in some respects, mind changes like the wind, I struggle to keep up.

But OH definitely feels it will be less hassle for me if she isn't on the doorstep. I feel that problems will be harder to deal with if there is a distance, but when things are going ok it may be better.

OH isn't frustrated, he just switches off.

Yorkie1

Our office canteen has an offer on Fridays: for £2.65 you can have 6 items. So I have 2 hash browns, baked beans, 2 eggs (poached) and a sausage. Keeps me going all day!

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

Sorry, but that always winds me up. I see those signs and think "So not only do I have to put up with other people's kids being on the loose, but I also have to pay for their food" because the cost is spread across all paying people.

No need to apologise to me. I don't make the pricing decisions. I agree it's not fair. That doesn't stop me eating the breakfast with my kids, though. Oh, and my kids have never been "on the loose" in a restaurant.

LNE's parents put us up at the place when we go to visit them, because their house is v small and LNE is no longer around to provide the muscle to rearrange all the furniture to fit us in overnight. The breakfast is the highlight of the experience from DD's PoV. For me, it goes a rather small way towards making up for having to share a bedroom with both kids.

PasturesNew

I don't eat ham, or bacon, or similar meats.

In the past I've had roasted pork and that's nice (except seeing the hairs), but I don't like the skin/crackling .... as for ham/bacon, I find them salty (and I don't like the taste of salt). Ham tends to be slimy too .....

I used to have a toasted sandwich maker - I found that it was virtually impossible to fill the "pockets" with contents.... and, once used, it was a faff to keep clean. I do toasties in a dry frying pan.

lostinrates

silvercar wrote: »

Frustrating in some respects, mind changes like the wind, I struggle to keep up.

But OH definitely feels it will be less hassle for me if she isn't on the doorstep. I feel that problems will be harder to deal with if there is a distance, but when things are going ok it may be better.

OH isn't frustrated, he just switches off.

Its very difficult. I'm glad your DH is coping. I hope you are ok. You sound 'calm' or is it resigned?

I have to say, non res p is being really helpful ATM, both in self sufficiency and support. Coming over here today as it happens.

It helps that they can see the frustrations with res p.

Non res of has started saying 'when [res p] has lost it you [as in me] won't be alone, I'll help then, take care, have res p back. '

This is obviously an unsatisfactory solution but at least it reminds me that I do have options In that future:rotfl: Res p is getting very grumpy ( though I am like a bear with a sore head all the time so I cannot really blame anyone not wanting to be around much).

They also of course, now realise more is up healthwise again, and while res p is pretending nothing is happening it unsettles. Non res p wants to make a crisis out of it, which isn't helpful, but I am suggesting I could do with help with the weeding.

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

I'm not keen on ham that's cooked such as on pizze or sandwiches ( I think I might be the only Brit who doesn't like toasted sandwiches too......I like mozzerrella in carrozza, or sometimes croque Monsieur etc if done in a pan, not in a sandwich maker ( I find those things weird). As a student I had one and used it but .....often to feed friends. I think its the bread.

Edit: would he eat fish? Hot smoked salmon, as opposed to normal smoked salmon, might be useful? Fish oils might be valuable in other ways for him anyway?

He eats loads of fish. I have recently imposed limits on tinned tuna because of the mercury. If left to his own devices and not warned about the mercury, he would have a tuna baguette at school for lunch every day, and cook himself either pasta and tuna mayonnaise, or pasta with tinned mackerel, for supper every evening, with occasional fish fingers for variety. I also do a creamy parmesan sauce that he likes on pasta, and he likes pizza either plain (margherita) or with pineapple. He would be perfectly happy if every meal was one of those things I've just listed. What I am doing is trying to find ways to broaden his diet that don't involve me in too much kitchen effort. It's difficult because he's suspicious of new foods and frequently only consents to eat a tiny taste before becoming adamant that he doesn't like them.

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

If it can be afforded, and if accommodation's close by, this is much better for everybody as you all get your own space

My parents used to insist my sibling/husband stayed at their house when visiting - but the house wasn't comfortable or enjoyable and it was difficult to "do your own thing" at all. It took several years for them to be able to book a local hotel and just visit twice a day - and the parents never understood why they'd want to do that as staying with them was "free".

It's part way between the options you describe. We go to their house and stay there until bedtime. Then we go to the cheapo hotel, check in, sleep, eat breakfast, check out, and then go back to their house, where we stay until the evening before driving home.

neverdespairgirl

silvercar wrote: »

Frustrating in some respects, mind changes like the wind, I struggle to keep up.

But OH definitely feels it will be less hassle for me if she isn't on the doorstep. I feel that problems will be harder to deal with if there is a distance, but when things are going ok it may be better.

OH isn't frustrated, he just switches off.

That might almost be frustrating in itself, if you can't switch off. But it must be a lot easier when it's your MIL, rather than your own Mum.

PasturesNew wrote: »

If it can be afforded, and if accommodation's close by, this is much better for everybody as you all get your own space

My parents used to insist my sibling/husband stayed at their house when visiting - but the house wasn't comfortable or enjoyable and it was difficult to "do your own thing" at all. It took several years for them to be able to book a local hotel and just visit twice a day - and the parents never understood why they'd want to do that as staying with them was "free".

My parents would be horrified if we stayed in a hotel / B & B near them.

But I like staying with them, it's much more relaxed and comfortable than being in a B & B. So we're all happy.

lostinrates

PasturesNew wrote: »

I was going to ask the other day - in my usual gauche manner - but stopped myself as it's "plain rude and none of my business" and, why would I think you'd know the answer ....

But I was going to ask "do you think they've now regretted their decision to split, now they're living the reality?"

No.

Not one minute of it.

I think they regret the last thirty five or so years ever for wasted tbh.

Has said not looking for another relationship, would consider religious order in the future ( I think that one is nuts). Whether its space, or peace, or freedom or what, things do seem better for non res p.

Perfect? No, of course not. They know they made a bad location choice and feel very conflicted over situation with my sibling, and various other things, but no, I don't think they regret the decision at all.


Res p still I think ( much more closed) is very sore about it. I've had to ask several times not to be put in the middle or have unpleasant comments made about other parent. They still talk, ( a bit) and have financial connections (agreed finances between them but res p often forgets which is awkward) .

Non res P has only been this ok in much younger times I think.

lostinrates

LydiaJ wrote: »

He eats loads of fish. I have recently imposed limits on tinned tuna because of the mercury. If left to his own devices and not warned about the mercury, he would have a tuna baguette at school for lunch every day, and cook himself either pasta and tuna mayonnaise, or pasta with tinned mackerel, for supper every evening, with occasional fish fingers for variety. I also do a creamy parmesan sauce that he likes on pasta, and he likes pizza either plain (margherita) or with pineapple. He would be perfectly happy if every meal was one of those things I've just listed. What I am doing is trying to find ways to broaden his diet that don't involve me in too much kitchen effort. It's difficult because he's suspicious of new foods and frequently only consents to eat a tiny taste before becoming adamant that he doesn't like them.

He's no fool, and understands requirement of health, right?

Would it be possible to stretch to a session with a GOOD dietician/nutritionist to give him some advice?

I think the trying things is ...understandable. You talk about not having been able to reinforce this when they were younger, so why the swap now, especially when he knows you don't have much petrol in your tank to drive it through. . Despite being bright and mature he is also young and has Immaturities. Don't we all?

Is it seventeen tastes of something we have to have to train our tastes? Like him, there are somethings I don't care to keep working on. I am glad I did with fennel, il love it in salads now, I even crave it. I don't yet crave grilled chicory. My bitter receptors are very English . I feel this needs challenging, but not sure I can cope with chicory anyway ATM . :rotfl: