Nice People Thread Number 11 - A Treasury of Nice People

neverdespairgirl

LIR, we love and adore you precisely the way you are. So don't even think about not posting!

Nikkster

Right - last ones then I'm caught up

lemonjelly wrote: »

That's guff. Don't mean to be rude, but you need to know it.

With respect, you've never met me! You lot probably all know what I'm thinking/ feeling in more detail than most people I know, but you only get my side of any story. And only the stories I want to tell.

LydiaJ wrote: »

(b)

LNE taught me to take compliments (and lots of his female friends but of course only people he knew well). He would say something nice (I mean actually nice not cringy or attempting to pull), and then if the woman didn't take it well (usually by disagreeing and saying it wasn't really true) he would calmly tell her that the correct way to respond to a compliment was to smile and say thank you. He would repeat this more or less every time he saw whoever it was until she learnt. Several of us have reason to be grateful to him for that.

I've learnt over time to smile and politely receive a compliment. Actually accepting and believing it is a different thing, and politeness filter was definitely out of action the other night. Been thinking about this today - I think I've always had a problem with this, but kind of managed to keep a lid on it. Then someone reinforced my underlying issues (actions were very different to words) and I can't quite get the lid on again. I've always been a bit screwed up it's just that the wind changed and I might have got stuck there!

I'll be fine. Just need my biological clock to stop ticking quite so loudly!

Nikkster

lostinrates wrote: »

I think its ok to act like that, just not ......aggressive, stalking or anything. Giddy with delight is kinda cute for example.

Depending on the time of evening, I could probably manage some kind of giddy

Just to clarify, I wasn't aggressive or stalkerish - kind of the opposite. As soon as he started being nice (i.e. talking ) I very calmly basically told him he was wasting his time and a number of reasons why he should go and seek someone else to give his attention to
That didn't scare him off, so I excused myself after he bumped into a friend.

Doozergirl

Nikkster wrote: »

If there is I'll try not to act like a mentally unstable twit this time

Tbf, I struggle with this challenge every day, as do most of us, if they'd admit it

lostinrates

Nikkster wrote: »

Right - last ones then I'm caught up


With respect, you've never met me! with respect I have met you. I make ok decisions on first impressions, when il know I know, and when I don't I don't . With DH I knew enough to know he was a good egg and we went on holiday for fourth date and never were apart again till work pattern dictated it. I KNOW you are good egg! even if you think you are scrambled or fried. Who says eggs have to be raw to be good?

You lot probably all know what I'm thinking/ feeling in more detail than most people I know, but you only get my side of any story. And only the stories I want to tell.
true, I consider this though. . I'm content


I've learnt over time to smile and politely receive a compliment. Actually accepting and believing it is a different thing, and politeness filter was definitely out of action the other night. Been thinking about this today - I think I've always had a problem with this, but kind of managed to keep a lid on it. Then someone reinforced my underlying issues (actions were very different to words) and I can't quite get the lid on again. I've always been a bit screwed up it's just that the wind changed and I might have got stuck there!

I'll be fine. Just need my biological clock to stop ticking quite so loudly!

You WILL be fine. Compliments are hard, DH finds this frustrating in women like you ( and I) who have been screwed over in the past and perhaps not best educated in receiving them, but you should know that when I say them I mean them. I sometimes look hard to find so etching to compliment, but with you I didn't have to.

Doozergirl

lostinrates wrote: »

:o


Sorry.

I talk a lot. I know I do. I get stuff done too though when I'm not grotty. I'll be quiet a lot of the day tomorrow so...

Nooooo! It's lovely, and PN, winderful news and so mich to talk about, it's just a gear change! I think I'm more chatty than usual, although I didn't start it last night!

Edit: impossible to type correctly on my phone, I was going to edit my typos but think I may take up residence as the french policeman from 'Allo 'Allo.

Spirit_2

Nikkster wrote: »

Depending on the time of evening, I could probably manage some kind of giddy

.

Will you be amongst friends, with a plus one or mixing with new people? You sound so up for the possibility of meeting someone new on this happy occassion.

You have made me think as Miss Spirit is at a friends wedding in June, she has not said if she is taking + 1, it is the first wedding she has gone to as a 'single woman'.

Her ex tends to invite her as his +1 to things, she generally declines, but your post has made me wonder what she will do as this is a wedding where she only knows the bride and groom .

lostinrates

Doozergirl wrote: »

Tbf, I struggle with this challenge every day, as do most of us, if they'd admit it

Give in. Enjoy the madness. I think many people spend to much time worrying what things look like rather than how they feel.

When you think about it, which is less sane? There ARE lines to be toed, I grudgingly accept. There are others I think we should push at. Others we should just ignore and hop over as if they don't exist, the trick is working out which are which.

Nikkster

PasturesNew wrote: »

First solicitor quote's a bit of a shocker.... all in, conveyancing fees, searches, transfers, form filling, stamp duty... and VAT where appropriate .... £3,400

I'd guesstimated £3k, so there goes £400 of curries.

Conveyancing "raw fee" £675 seemed a bit steep though.... maybe I'm out of touch.

And do I need the Chancel Repair Indemnity now the law changed and the deadline passed?

Copy and pasted from the people I went with for conveyancing.
Our total fee would be £946.00 + stamp duty (VAT is already included in this)

Legal Fee £400.00 + VAT
Searches £158.00
TT Fee £30.00
Registration Fee £270.00
Land Registry Charge £8.00

Just over £2k for SDLT

Spirit_2

Nikkster wrote: »

I'll be fine. Just need my biological clock to stop ticking quite so loudly!

I interpreted this as Nikkster is getting broody.

Is there another meaning that I am not aware of?