Awkward brother-in-law

Prothet_of_Doom

Talk to him about YOUR death, about your WILL, about your solicitor, ask his advice about what to do. He might get the message.

Mojisola

SandC wrote: »

No need to be pressing for power of attorney on somebody who is currently perfectly healthy!

That's the time to make one!

We have POAs for each other. We've done them now because who knows what tomorrow will bring? There's no point wishing we'd done it when one of us is in hospital in a coma or suchlike.

However, just because something is sensible - like POAs, wills, funeral planning, etc - you can't make someone do it if they don't want to.

SandC

I do agree Mojisola but that decision has obviously been a joint one - this sounds like coercion and on the OPs info the only reason for doing so is because he is in his seventies and a bachelor. I would probably be a bit unwilling to discuss it in his shoes also.

BitterAndTwisted

Talking to an older person about power of attorney makes it sound like your only motivation is to get your paws on his money before he goes rather than patiently waiting until afterwards. Regardless of your profession or motivation. To be honest, it makes you sound really very presumptuous in having raised it. He might have a much more trustworthy candidate in mind

If he wants to make provision in case he's incapable of making decisions later on, let him do the asking, not you doing the pressing/facilitating.

Just because he's 70 doesn't mean he needs your help for anything. He could have made his wishes known re funeral arrangements in his will.

Counting_Pennies_2

People who have lived alone often don't want the interference and are not too bothered if it upsets anyone after their departure.


If you think about it they are very unlikely to have had to consider peoples feelings over their own in day to day life.


At home with others living with you, you might consider time for supper to suit all, what people want to watch on tv, listening to peoples upsets, understanding what makes people happy.


Relatives I know who live alone get cross with the slightest interference such as their ability to cut the grass etc. There is no way I would consider speaking to them about the end of their life. I know the response.


You will need to leave them be and deal with a little frustration at the time, and spare them being upset over their impending doom

meritaten

jeez - he has made his will and is now living his last years as HE wants to. you are out of order here.
and why on earth are you raising the matter of power of attorney? is he infirm? feeble minded? because this is exactly what you are saying to him when you raise the matter.
Stay out of it, unless and until, he ASKS you.

marisco_2

Pinkmat wrote: »

My husband has 3 brothers. One is now in his 70s and is a life long bachelor. Many years ago he decided to make a will with my husband as his sole beneficiary even though they are not close.

I am surprised no-one else has mentioned this yet. Maybe your brother in law has changed his mind about leaving everything to your husband and has altered his will accordingly. This could be the reason for him not wishing to discuss anything relating to this with you.

meritaten

It had occurred to me Marisco, that the OP may well have inspired her BIL to change his will.
he is only in his 70s and perhaps he may decide to spend the lot and enjoy himself. and leave the rest to charity. I probably would in his place! but then I am a bit 'contrary'.

beautiful_ravens

Maz said:

Nobody with a grain of a brain could be so insensitive so I'm calling it - troll.

I dont think every post that makes no sense to 'the majority' can be accused of 'troll' and Im a bit weary of everything 'unusual' on here being tarred with the same trolling brush. There are plenty of real life unusual things going on all the time.

Macca83_2

beautiful_ravens wrote: »

Maz said:


I dont think every post that makes no sense to 'the majority' can be accused of 'troll' and Im a bit weary of everything 'unusual' on here being tarred with the same trolling brush. There are plenty of real life unusual things going on all the time.

I agree. These days every second thread I read has someone calling out troll. It's getting tiresome. I don't think she's trolling but I do think she's meddling. If you mention it once and get a less than welcome reception then you don't mention it again.