Awkward brother-in-law

Pinkmat

My husband has 3 brothers. One is now in his 70s and is a life long bachelor. Many years ago he decided to make a will with my husband as his sole beneficiary even though they are not close. Last year I tried to raise the subject with him as to his wishes about his funeral and about Power of Attorney. My husband went through hell with his father at the end of his life because of trying to get Power of Attorney when he was failing. But my brother-in-law dislikes talks of death. He has no children and lives alone. I've asked him to put a list on his wall of his doctor, my husband's name and address as next of kin and the name of his solicitor. He got very angry because of my apparent interference. I tried to explain that I was a legal secretary and didn't want him to leave my husband with a nightmare scenario if my brother-in-law should become incapacitated or die suddenly. I was thinking of printing up Money Matters over 50s advice as read today. Any tips would be helpful for handling a prickly old miser bachelor.

BitterAndTwisted

Yes, stay out of it. He's not your blood-relative and probably resents your well-meaning interference. Let his brother deal with it, if it needs to be dealt with at all.

Mojisola

I can understand you wanting to help your husband but, if your BIL doesn't want to be co-operative, you can't force him.

Your husband could try to get him to be more reasonable but, again, he can't force him.

Money_maker

Pinkmat wrote: »

over for handling a prickly old miser bachelor.

Tell him to leave his money to the dogs home. They will appreciate it and wont hassle him whilst he's still alive. How rude are you?

HPoirot

If he won't talk to you about his own death, then he won't talk to you about his own death. Stop forcing it on him. Your job has nothing to do with it.

tea_lover

If anyone needs to have the conversation with him it's his brother, but neither of you should be forcing the issue. Sorry but it does come across as rude.

pelirocco

Pinkmat wrote: »

My husband has 3 brothers. One is now in his 70s and is a life long bachelor. Many years ago he decided to make a will with my husband as his sole beneficiary even though they are not close. Last year I tried to raise the subject with him as to his wishes about his funeral and about Power of Attorney. My husband went through hell with his father at the end of his life because of trying to get Power of Attorney when he was failing. But my brother-in-law dislikes talks of death. He has no children and lives alone. I've asked him to put a list on his wall of his doctor, my husband's name and address as next of kin and the name of his solicitor. He got very angry because of my apparent interference. I tried to explain that I was a legal secretary and didn't want him to leave my husband with a nightmare scenario if my brother-in-law should become incapacitated or die suddenly. I was thinking of printing up Money Matters over 50s advice as read today. Any tips would be helpful for handling a prickly old miser bachelor.

You never know , your husband may go before him , problem solved !

Georgiegirl256

Keep out of it. What's it got to do with you?

koan_2

Is this yet another one living under a bridge? There seem to be a lot of them lately.

TBagpuss

Stay out of it. You can suggest to your husband that he talk to his brother, but you cannot make either of them do so.

Unfortunately many people don't like thinking, or talking about death.

SandC

I agree you should stay out of it. He may have many more years ahead of him for all you know.

My stepmum is in her early eighties and my brother and I are both named executors in her will. She discussed this with us as your brother in law appears to have done with his brother when he made the will many years ago. We have not, however, tried to get power of attorney just because of her age and the fact that she is alone! That is a bridge we will cross when and if she becomes frail - if she were to pass suddenly, well that happens to people all the time and their estates are dealt with.

You should be content that you know he has a will, so within that he will have named executors or instructions to use a solicitor.

No need to be pressing for power of attorney on somebody who is currently perfectly healthy!