Contracted HIV in "middle age"

Person_one

Why would you want to withhold that information? If its just because the person might then decide not to have sex with you, that's pretty low.

Person_one

Nick_C wrote: »

According to the NHS website, around 25% of people who have HIV don't know that they have it.

If you don't want to take the risk of having sex with someone who might be HIV+, then ask people for their HIV status before having sex with them. If they don't know, then decide whether or not you want to take that risk!

NHS advice though is that you should tell people.

"If you do not tell your sexual partners and you have unsafe sex and infect someone, they could prosecute you."

"Nobody can force you to tell any of your partners about your HIV, but it is strongly recommended that you do. Left untested and untreated, HIV can have devastating consequences and will eventually lead to death."

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/hiv/Pages/living-with.aspx

(That latter statement is a bit melodramatic and not necessarily true. You could be HIV+ and be knocked over by a bus. I wonder what percentage of HIV+ people eventually die of an HIV related condition?)

The last statement is entirely factual, I think you missed the part about 'left untreated'.

There are still cases in this country (I've seen them and cared for them) where people were unaware of their HIV infection until they presented with an AIDS defining illness such as Kaposi's Sarcoma.

SandC

Not to be too flippant on the subject but it did always make me roll my eyes somewhat that Mark Fowler in Eastenders had a far more successful sex and relationship life than I ever had and all the time being HIV positive. ;-)

Nick_C

Person_one wrote: »

The last statement is entirely factual, I think you missed the part about 'left untreated'.

That didn't register. Thanks, completely agree.

Nick_C

Person_one wrote: »

Why would you want to withhold that information? If its just because the person might then decide not to have sex with you, that's pretty low.

If I was having casual sex with someone, I wouldn't expect them to tell me if they were HIV+. I would assume they were, and act appropriately.

If I (knew I) was HIV+, I don't know how I would feel about it TBH!

I expect raising the subject of HIV status during foreplay could be something of a passion killer!

C_Mababejive

Person_one wrote: »

Lots of people live with chronic and long term health conditions, HIV is really no different to any other these days, as long as you live in a developed country.

I take your point but I would say that there is a difference in that it is transmissible and has no cure.

Many other chronic and not so chronic conditions are not transmissible and are therefore not a hazard to wider society.

Another chap further up the chat said that someone who knows they are HIV+ should not feel the need to share that with a sex partner.

I find that indefensible,unfair and irresponsible.

I think if i ever found myself diagnosed HIV + i wouldtry to adopt a celibate lifestyle. Easier said than done i know but to take the risk of infecting someone else without them even having the choice...? I couldnt live with myself for doing that.

Person_one

C_Mababejive wrote: »

I think if i ever found myself diagnosed HIV + i wouldtry to adopt a celibate lifestyle. Easier said than done i know but to take the risk of infecting someone else without them even having the choice...? I couldnt live with myself for doing that.

Why wouldn't they have a choice? Its perfectly possible for people with HIV to have a fulfilling sex life, and of course the partner should always be fully informed and will have made a choice to pursue a sexual relationship while understanding the (very small) risk.

Nick_C

C_Mababejive wrote: »

Another chap further up the chat said that someone who knows they are HIV+ should not feel the need to share that with a sex partner.

I find that indefensible, unfair and irresponsible.

I think if i ever found myself diagnosed HIV + i would try to adopt a celibate lifestyle. Easier said than done i know but to take the risk of infecting someone else without them even having the choice...? I couldnt live with myself for doing that.

If they were not practising safer sex, I agree it would be irresponsible. And possibly illegal. But with an indetectable viral load count and the use of safer sex techniques, I think its entirely defensible and responsible.

Just a matter of opinion of course.

burnoutbabe

trouble is, you can get tested as can your partner.

And then you don't use condoms anymore.

but he cheats and doesn't practice safe sex. You then catch it.

Does that make one stupid to trust their partner? Must happens to tons of married people who "trust" their partners to be faithful.

C_Mababejive

Nick_C wrote: »

If they were not practising safer sex, I agree it would be irresponsible. And possibly illegal. But with an indetectable viral load count and the use of safer sex techniques, I think its entirely defensible and responsible.

Just a matter of opinion of course.

Well thats ok and thats what we are all here for. Free,open and honest discussion,enlightenment and debate. So to clarify, if I as a male found that i had HIV,had luckily been detected early and started a management regime such that i now had an undetectable viral load,your thoughts are that its fine for me to indulge in sexual intercourse,practising safer (not safe) sex,and not bother telling my partner..?