MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Grant and Tiffany charge for their wedding?

[Deleted User]

I seem to remember visiting a museum in Wales a long time ago, where it said it was an old custom for everyone in the village to give the newly married couple money towards their new life together and home.

I don't think its a new thing

My weddings gonna be ace, in a 17th century barn. Rock on. I'm not talking to anyone who doesn't bring a pressie

Gingernutmeg

My partner and I are nowhere near the stage of getting married lol, but I've always felt that if we did get married one thing we'd certainly not send out with the invitations would be a wedding list! I really hate the idea of them, and I think they cause so much hassle - every wedding I've ever been to there have been complaints about the wedding list, what to get someone, how much to spend without looking cheap lol ... I also think it's a bit rude to assume that someone would even want to buy you a present - my partner and I would choose to invite someone because we want their presence, not their gift or money. If someone wants to give something that's fine, but it shouldn't be expected, it costs a fortune to go to a wedding as it is.

huggermugger

Well, I went to the wedding (as mentioned above) at the weekend. Lovely service in a little church, great do in a big house lent by a friend for the occasion, hog roast & food done by friends, booze self-imported by bride's dad, dresses from Debenhams in the sale, I believe. Perfect day for all, they got a lot of money given to them and have gone off on a last-minute honeymoon. Good for them. No-one was under any obligation to give them anything & I believe the donations ranged from £5 to £200.

Thinking about it, I was deeply offended when my sister asked me to her wedding, wanted me to provide my daughter with a new dress (to her specification) to be a bridesmaid, asked us to pay for our own meals at the wedding & then pointed us in the direction of the bar for drinks. Now, that really was taking the mickey. I'd rather give a cash contribution anyday.

[Deleted User]

I did get a bit upset about giving a hundred pounds to my fiancee's friend's wedding present fund, then having to fork out 2 quid a glass for cola at the bar in their wedding.

Since we're getting kosher catering, the bar bill is included in the cost of the meal. Generally, the Jewish crowd isn't big on drinking, but i've got some mates coming that have promised to help get good value for me

chr1s23

£75.00 a guest!!!!!!!
Get a caterer in and have a buffett at £20.00 a head.
NO, certainly not. They should not charge guests to come to their wedding!:mad:

kamoha

I wouldn't go, not paying for someone elses extravagance!

Squeezemepleaseme

scattynobrain wrote: »

Why is the cost £75 per head? Your wedding day is a special day but it is only one day. If your wedding is costing that much you need to look at where you're spending the money and work out what you can cut out and what you really need.

Our wedding was simple: local registry office, local pub lunch, no evening do, dress off EBay, hardly any flowers, no cars and a friend made the cake as a present. It still cost £4,000. We had 50 guests, which is £80 a head. Getting married is pricey, but I still would not have dreamed of asking for cash. I would just have invited fewer people if I couldn't afford it.

[Deleted User]

I wish ours was going to be £75 a head.. its more like £95. The venue we're using will not let us choose our own caterer. We're having about 105 guests

It's gonna be damn good food though and a free bar

ERMANTRUDE

OH and I didn't want presents for various reasons so, to avoid any one wasting their money on things we didn't want, we opened a building society account and encouraged guests to add to our 'large items' fund e.g. lawn mowers etc. No one complained and it ws interestig to see that all those who wanted to give a tangible gift gave vases ! lol

missylou_2

I find it disgusting asking guests to contribute financially. Whereas it is customary to give gifts, it is by no means mandatory.

Guests should be invited as you are close to them and wish them to share in the happy event, not because you want them to provide you with gifts and/or money.

At least some guests will find it financially draining just to attend let alone be expected to hand over a sum of money just for the privilege!

The bride and groom in this case should tailor the wedding to the budget they can afford instead of expecting their guests to foot the bill.