MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Grant and Tiffany charge for their wedding?

nancypearl

New outfit, possibly taking a day off work, cost of hotel, cost of booze at the reception AND they want me to pay for my own meal!!

If I was paying £75 for a meal, then I could go to a very highbrow establishment - possibly even a Michelin starred restaurant - and have a great meal for £75. No restaurant of any calibre would book a party of more than 6-8, as they just couldn't guarentee the food would all be ready at the same time to the required standard. So where does the £75 cost come from then? It comes from establishments ripping off wedding parties.
A meal for 20 in a hotel for a birthday - that'll be £35 a head.
The same meal for 20 for a wedding - well the price has just risen to £40 a head.

Go figure.

magskev01

I think they should. I agree with not saying what the money was for. We've been married for 4 years now and are still paying the credit cards off! I joked then that we should ask guests to pay for their dinner!:rotfl:
Many friends have now asked for holiday gift vouchers when they get married rather than the traditional wedding list at debenhams or argos gift vouchers. Marriage is a serious commitment however, many of us live with our partners for many years and don't need things for the "bottom draw" anymore. Don't some faiths pin money on to the brides dress?

emmajon

I think even with the best will in the world it is a bit cheeky to ask people to pay to attend, as others have said it is really expensive to attend a wedding anyway. My cousin got married a good few years ago, but they couldn't afford a really expensive reception etc so they hired a cheap and cheerful village hall, decorated it themselves, paid for the dj themselves (didn't have fancy cars or lots of bridesmaids) and then asked family members to bring something for the buffet. It was lovely really, as most of the family made something homemade for the buffet, they'd all sorted out what to bring beforehand and so all of the food was donated by the rest of the family!

I like the idea of asking for money, there is lots of nice poems on the net, and I love the idea of getting one of those tree's (you know the big ones with lots of twig branches in a huge planter) then cover it in fairy lights, provide people with envelopes with a ribbon attached - call it the money tree and if people want to make a contribution to it they can.

I also wanted to say the person who thought it was cheeky to have to pay for drinks at a wedding - I think its nice to provide a toast and perhaps the first drink at the bar but surely most of us would be bankrupt if we had to buy all of our guests drinks at the end of the night.

bob4jane

Me and my girlie, I think, will ask for folk to pay into a "honeymoon" fund- perhaps give them an account number and sort code, and watch all the "miscellaneous deposits" roll in.
How do you think that would go down?

Alfa_Female

If you want to get married and can't afford the £75 per head then downsize reception to something you can afford, or postpone until you have saved enough. It's unfair to ask guests to contribute to something you have decided you want to do.

We want to have baby but will need IVF to enable us to have one, IVF is expensive and we currently can't afford it, but we're not asking people to contribute towards it - it's our decision so we'll either get a loan or save for it.

If they really can't afford it and don't want to down-size or postpone then they should ask for cash gifts and put the wedding on credit and then pay off some of the credit card with the money they're given.

acwalters

I wouldn't attend on principle. Why should a wedding cost £75 a head? If you can't afford such a wedding, then don't make one. A cheaper wedding is also possible.

I have happily contributed to the wedding fund of a poor orphan bride who litteraly didn't have a penny. I didn't know them, and didn't attend the wedding. If you need to rely on charity, then so be it. But don't charge guests.

beebearshouse

I recently went to a friends wedding and we were asked to contribute to the honeymoon fund.

As someone on limited funds I was embarressed to only be able to afford a few quid. It would have been far better if there was an annonymous way of contributing like a bucket at the back of the room.

If the contribution can be made in a way that is not going to make the guests feel awkward I think it is a great idea to ask for money rather than presents which you don't need and won't use, after all it is common for people to have desperately expensive wedding lists telling people exactly what to buy, how is this any different??

As a post script the friend didn't actually go on the honeymoon they were planning as they split up. OOPS

Choccyholic

A good friend got married, they'd been living together a long while but needed a new bathroom. In their wedding invites they specified they didn't want presents but if anyone felt they needed to give, they could do so to the Bathroom Fund. Cheeky little me got a bumper hugest pack of loo rolls from Tesco, wrapped them up all pretty and gave those!!!

My parents brought me up NOT to EXPECT to receive gifts, be it birthdays, aniversaries, christmas, weddings, (funerals or bahmitsvas). We should be greatful and get what we're given, if at all. Invariably, I'm lucky enough to receive gifts.

I hate giving vouchers or money. I like to spend upto £20 on most family gifts, but if I can get a bargain, discount or extra points, then that's great.

I wouldn't go to a wedding where I was asked to pay to attend. Down right rude.

racey2racey

If I was going to a wedding and knew the couple had everthing they needed I would be inclined to put money in a card as a gift. However if the couple specifically asked for a donation I would think it was cheeky and that the couple either need to downsize their wedding or find a cheaper venue.

At an Indian wedding it is quite normal for the Bride and Groom to write in the invite "No Presents, only your presence is requested" - as tradition would have it you never go empty handed to a wedding, so guests more than often put money in a card. At an Indian wedding you can expect quests anywhere from 400 to 1000!!!! That would equate to Loads of Money

suzyj1

They should charge. My husband and I had a wonderful budget wedding planned, making the most of an uncle with a Jag, friend with a camcorder, a photographer who charged for the prints and not a pricey album and a dress in the sale, to name but a few, but a few months before, the wedding, I lost my job. Our one extravagance was going to be a wedding breakfast at a beautiful local country club, it was resonably priced, so I asked my guests, if they wanted to join us could they please pay for themselves. They were under no obligation. virtually all of them accepted. We paid for the witnesses, parents and my sister, and I was so touched, I managed to save enough to pay for the child guests. I say that anyone wishing to ask for help, go for it!!