Can men get Post Natal Depression?

Snaggles

Lol, well they made me cry when I was typing them, but I'm just a bit soft!

cat4772

Snaggles,

I certainly don't think you should think you've done anything wrong if he withdraws from you, but that's what women do (no matter how much we know we've done nothing wrong)!!!

I hope the talk with your husband was successful and that the situation is becomming a bit more bearable!

cat4772

Stupid MSE, thought I'd got to the end of the posts when I replied, then realised there was another page:mad:.

Snaggles wrote: »

I really thought he would refuse point blank to have counselling, but he actually agreed, so she is going to do a referral letter for him today. It will be quite a few weeks before he sees anyone because there's a waiting list, but I think this will really help him. She's also given him lots of information and practical tips to help him cope in the meantime (he likes the fact that there's something he can 'do' to help himself).

Not sure where in West Yorkshire, but I know they were trialling a triage appointment system in Leeds, where you were seen by someone within two weeks and from there directed to the most appropriate counselling sessions.

Snaggles wrote: »

On the way out, he gave me a big cuddle and said 'thanks for coming with me'......I don't know why, but it meant such a lot to me that he did that. I had tears pouring down my face as he left to go back to work, I'm just so proud that he had the courage to do it.

I bet he's relieved too as he's no longer going it alone, so to speak. You're now working as part of a team!

Snaggles wrote: »

I know counselling wont be an instant cure, but I think it will really benefit him, and us.

I'm sure counselling will benefit you and him immensely. (hate to bring a downer to it, but sometimes in the initial stages of counselling, it can get worse before it gets better, but the good news is it will get better!

Everything crossed for you.

Savvy_Sue

Parenting courses, yes they do offer them for older children, even teenagers when the time comes! Plus I bet you wouldn't be the only ones where the children had some kind of special needs, diagnosed or not ...

It is really hard when you're trying to work out what's different about your child. Our eldest has mild AS, and I KNEW he wasn't quite 'normal' from a young age. It was never bad enough to go to the GP and refuse to leave until he told me what was wrong, and even his schools never really said anything until he was 12, when the school doctor called me in for a chat! But parenting him certainly presented its challenges, and once I knew he had AS, EVERYTHING made sense!

out_4_nowt

Snaggles, I have read your full post with such interest, not only as a mother but as a health visitor as well. In the 6 years I have been in the post I have (from the very beginning of visiting) encouraged an equal relationship with my new dads as well as mums & offer my support with feelings and depression to both parents, really based on the experience that we had with some professionals really excluding my husband within my pregnancies and in the post natal period. Reading your post/reponses reassures that I do the right thing with an equal importance approach, (where applicable of course!!) Thank you!!! I hope things work out well & ps I have referred many parents for counselling with very positive outcomes !!!

Snaggles

Cat - we are in Leeds, although the counsellor is attatched to the gp group practice, so I think he's just on the waiting list to see them. Thanks for the warning, I'll prepare myself for it getting worse before it gets better - I can well believe it, as I'm sure there will be things that resurface that he will find hard to deal with. Thanks.

Savvy Sue - that's exactly how we were with ds - we just knew there was something not quite right, because some of his behaviour just doesnt tie up with the lovely, sweet little boy I know he can be. If you know what you're dealing with though, it's a LOT easier to tackle it. I didn't know about the parenting courses, I'll look into that, thank you.

Out 4 Nowt - I'm always a bit in awe of health visitors , I think you do such a great job. Mine's lovely - I've only met her a couple of times so far because Natasha has been pretty much plain sailing (touch wood), but she's really supportive. I'm glad you're taking that approach with the parents you see - I hadn't realised until I posted on here how common it is for men to feel like this after the birth of a child. Sorry you had a bad experience yourself though.

ailuro2

I've nominated you for post of the month Snaggles...
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?p=5651789#post5651789

I hope you don't mind...I thought you opened a big door on the fact that many men do suffer after their partners have kids, but it isn't really recognised - all the attention is on Mother and Baby- and yes, they do need it, but some Dads are crying out for a bit of help and find it hard to ask for help.

Snaggles

Oh crikey, thank you, that's really lovely of you xxx

Errata

Snaggles, you might find this http://www.livinglifetothefull.com/elearning/ a helpful read.