Can men get Post Natal Depression?

Counting_Pennies_2

I was thinking about you last night, how did it go?

Snaggles

Thanks again to all those who have replied - many of you seem to have hit the nail on the head, and your insight has really helped.

We had a long chat last night, not just about this, but about everything. Stu was close to tears and admitted he feels completely overwhelmed with emotions he can't express. He feels he's no good to us because he's losing his job, and he doesn't feel like he's being a good Dad to ds because he finds it difficult to deal with his behaviour. He realises he's put a wall up around himself but doesn't know how to break it back down again. I told him how much I loved him and would do anything I could to help him, and he said he loves me too and is terrified of losing me.

The really good news is, he's actually now wanting to speak to a doctor about it. There's a lovely doctor at our practice, who is really sympathetic, and I rang this morning and got him an appointment at 10.30am today (that's got to be a good omen, as usually they offer you an appointment in a fortnights time :rolleyes:).

I really hope she will be able to help him. He's a bit worried they will dose him up on tablets that will turn him into a zombie, but I've told him that's not what she does (I know from personal experience ).

I'll let you know how it goes....

Snaggles

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

If he can step up to it like he did after your first this is definitely worth fighting for.

This quote has stayed with me all day, thank you xxx

I'm really proud of Stu, we've been to the doctors, and although I could tell how difficult he found it, he managed to tell her how he was feeling (I sat with my lips glued together so I wouldn't be tempted to speak for him). She could clearly see how difficult he was finding it, and was really lovely with him. She got him to fill in a questionnaire to ease him into it a bit. She does feel he is under a lot of stress and possibly suffering with depression, and has recommended to him that he speaks to a counsellor. She hasn't put him on any medication, which he was scared about, as she doesn't think that's what he needs to tackle this.

I really thought he would refuse point blank to have counselling, but he actually agreed, so she is going to do a referral letter for him today. It will be quite a few weeks before he sees anyone because there's a waiting list, but I think this will really help him. She's also given him lots of information and practical tips to help him cope in the meantime (he likes the fact that there's something he can 'do' to help himself).

On the way out, he gave me a big cuddle and said 'thanks for coming with me'......I don't know why, but it meant such a lot to me that he did that. I had tears pouring down my face as he left to go back to work, I'm just so proud that he had the courage to do it.

I know counselling wont be an instant cure, but I think it will really benefit him, and us.

Counting_Pennies_2

Snaggles wrote: »

She does feel he is under a lot of stress and possibly suffering with depression, and has recommended to him that he speaks to a counsellor. She hasn't put him on any medication, which he was scared about, as she doesn't think that's what he needs to tackle this.

I am so pleased for you and thank goodness for a doctor not going staight to pills, I find this is more and more common these days.

The counselling will be a fantastic start, and him admitting he wants to do something about it and go to speak to someone is fantastic.

Good luck

Eels100

Just wanted to say how glad I am that you've got the ball rolling. I am sure it's a huge weight off your mind, but also off your partner's mind. Just knowing you're offering support rather than criticism must make him feel so much stronger, so well done you. All the best.

southernscouser

Really pleased for you Snaggly.

:kisses3:

Burlesque_Babe

just caught up with this Snaggles, i'm really really pleased for you, it brought a lump into my throat reading how he gave you a hug.

ailuro2

I'm so glad to hear you're pulling together on this- tell him what someone told me when I was suffering PND- and later seasonally affected depression too- you need to try to sort out what comes from inside and what comes from outside-

for example- someone failing an important exam will make them feel depressed, but chemicals won't help- resitting the exam and passing will help make them feel better.

feeling run down and depressed because you have been worrying long term, have been losing sleep, working too many long hours- sometimes it gets to the point where cutting back and getting more sleep cannot lift you out of it and you need a bit if help from the Dr- ie tablets, to help get back to normal.

Also worth thinking about is where dh works- does he do shiftwork, does he have regular access to daylight? My dh and I both work in a factory with no daylight and found taking multivitamins helped us significantly.

Keep up the good work- my very best wishes to you all.

*zippy*

Really pleased for you both snaggles.

moonlightpjs

Really chuffed for you both Snaggs and well done to Stu for going xxx
Hopefully this will be the start of things looking up for you both.
Brought a tear to my eye so no wonder you were crying.

Keep talking xx