Can men get Post Natal Depression?

Snaggles

Counting Pennies, please don't feel you are butting in, your posts have made a lot of sense to me - sometimes it takes an outsiders perspective to make sense of a situation. I really appreciate your input. In fact I appreciate anyones input. It never ceases to amaze me how willing people on this site are to offer advice and support to others, and I'm very grateful.

southernscouser

Hey Snaggly.

I don't have anything of any use to say but just wanted to say you know where I am if you need me.

Snaggles

Lack of sex...maybe, although I am trying :rolleyes:

Lack of money...also maybe, although money is actually no tighter than usual

I have wondered if he has actually changed or if it's how I'm reacting to him that's changed. It's difficult to tell, but I do think he's more withdrawn and unhappy than usual.

I will try having another talk to him about it, and really think about what I want to say first, so it doesn't come across as critical or angry.

Sea78

Oh Snaggles - big hugs - I can only echo talking to him about it. I can't really help much as you know how my OH is - very like this too.

Massive hugs
Sea xxx

ailuro2

My oh was the same, but again we got through it when DD became more responsive.

Both of us being on shiftwork from when she was 3 months definitely didn't help.

Bad memories for both of us..I was put on Prozac but I wasn't really in any fit state to realise DH was suffering so badly too.

It will get better, given time, but it's worth asking him when he's having a good day if he thinks he should see a doctor about getting a bit of help to get through this.

southernscouser

Snaggles wrote: »

Lack of sex...maybe, although I am trying :rolleyes:

I did mean if you wanted to bend my ear you saucy mare! :eek:

moonlightpjs

Hi snaggles
Same goes - I'm here if you want me -anytime.

Just a thought but do you think it may have something to do with being made redundant?? He may be holding the children tight as he may think he's letting/will let them down in some way. Of course, he isn;t but I think that most of us feel that way at least some of the time. Maybe he's worried about finding another job and not being able to support you all.
This could be causing depression - is he worried at all about not getting another job?

I know Natasha is only tiny but I think you could both do with a couple of hours together away from the children in a neutral place, maybe with a drink or two to relax him and you and maybe he will open up. He may think that he is bothering you by discussing his fears when you have so recently given birth?

The sleeping part, staring and holding the children tight seem like classic symptons of depression to me, I know because, as you know, I suffer from it and often don't want to get out of bed if OH is at home, he often notices that I am staring into space and comments on it and says he knows something is on my mind even though I don't think there is

I don't know if any of this makes sense but I'm thinking about you and always hapy to have a chat if you need me.

Toto

I agree with the others, I think you need to turn the tv off and explain how you feel. It's important that you stay calm even if he gets angry (hard to do, I know). It might be that he just feels stuck in a rut, sometimes when we feel we wake up, go to the same job, come home to the same money worries, daily grind etc, it all just feels never ending and boring. I'm not suggesting you and the children are in any way boring by the way, but the men I've known seem to have these crisis every once in a while.

I suppose as mothers we just get up and get on with things, we feel content with out new babies, we know what to do and often take charge. The father of my kids went through a period of feeling he had no purpose when the kids were small because I was so good at doing it all. So he chose to sit up half the night drinking and then slept half of the day.

I don't know snags, I guess I can only offer my experiences and they might be way off from what's going on with you. Only your hubby can tell you what's really wrong, and even if he doesn't like it, he needs to be honest with you. If he really can't put his finger on what's wrong then he probably does have a dose of depression and needs to see his doctor.

I'm sorry you're going through this and I really hope you can work things out quickly so you can all get on with enjoying your family and lives together.

Burlesque_Babe

Snaggles wrote: »

He finds it difficult to express any kind of emotion. He can make friends easily, but doesn't really have 'close' friends who know him inside out, because he tends to keep people at arms length.

He lost his Dad as a teenager, arguably the most difficult time to cope with the death of a parent (not that there's a good time, I know), and I wonder if this could have been the start of it.

Hiya Snaggles, my OH is the same - emotionally unavailable (although permanently sadly, now it seems) and he lost him Mum when he was 15 and then his brother when he was about 30 or so.

It does sound like depression, the ups and downs of moods, the holding precious things to him. When I was on Prozac the end of last year, my dog became like a child to me - and the onlything that mattered - and I used to cry thinking one day he would die even though he is only 6.

Difficult if he won't go to the doctor, but keep talking to him.

You know where I am

xx

Snaggles

It could be to do with him being made redundant, although this has been on the cards for years. But I suppose it's suddenly very real, now that he has a finishing date. He'll find another job, I'm sure of that, but it must be preying on his mind. Usually when I ask him though, he says he's not worried.