Depression Support Thread

Miroslav

Diamond78 wrote: »

Morning All,
Hope everyone is good and feeling well. Im soooo tired,thank god its friday!!Was nearly late taking my son school, didnt wake up till 8.05 and im watching tv aswell. Its what I do all the time.

Im a bit angry today with my sons dad(spermdonor). he gave me a lot of abuse and grief last week over the phone and he was nasty to my son. He is refusing to pay any money towards my son and he wont give my sons car seat back which i paid for. He does this every year!!! He sees my son for a while, it never lasts more than 2 months and as soon as he realises I wont have him back he switches. The thing is, he knows I wont takr so much crap from him anymore. I must admit, I do worry he will turn up as he has a drug and drink problem and thats when he gets more violent. But im not as scared. he is on his last chance with the police.

All these years I have not been CSA as he has threatend me, also says that If I go csa, he will stop working and leave the country and therefor his 2 other daughters wont get no money as they get money from him every month without a fail. Either b4 xmas or my sons birthday without a fail he will stop all contact and then go round and tell every1 its me whos stopped the contact. My son is old enough now to realise what his doing and is messing with my sons head. He promised my son an xbox360 but he wont be getting that.He has a well paid job, wears only designer clothes, goes abroad for expensive golfing holidays, goes on long drinking sessions and then theres the drugs. he had no shame in telling me how he spent £500 in one night and he was boasting about it:eek:

I dont work and Im on income support therefor wont get anything from the CSA but I am seriously considering reporting him. I dont like the fact he comes into my sons life promising his changed and promising his going to be a dad to my son and then !!!!s off when he cant get his own way!!! Why the hell would i want to get back with him after everything he has done and put us through???

He always gets away with things and breaks the law but nothing ever gets done about it and its like his mr untouchable. Why???? :mad:

Never understood why parents wouldn't want an involvement/pay towards the costs of their children.

Makes me :mad:

Miroslav

week wrote: »

While"depression" might not be hereditary mental illness can be (IE clinical depression, bi polar, schizophrenia etc.). I have inherited BP(or manic depression as it used to be called) from my father and all of my brothers have mental health issues but I am the worst! My Psychiatrist has confirmed my daughter might develop problems also.

K.

For sure, but shazrobo mentioned depression, which is what I was talking about. Other mental (and physical) illnesses can be inherited for sure, although as far as I know, none of my estranged family have been diagnosed with anything, but then my 'mental health' has been down to things that have happened, as opposed to inherited.

Let's hope your daughter misses the train this time.

Miroslav

BigMummaF wrote: »

Miro...had a similar conversation the other day....if you had something physical to show your pain, people would be understanding. It's very true that this illness has to be experienced first-hand to fully know how debilitating it can be. Then again, we are our own worst enemies because we play along with the "Oh not too bad...jogging along" front when folk ask how we are. I think it stems from those times when you bump into a person & say "hey! How are you?" as you do, & then immediately regret asking cuz they go into every minute & graphic detail of their latest ills:p We know we don't want to be like that cuz folk are not that concerned, so we go too far the other way....Does any of that make sense? I hope so....

It makes perfect sense, so I tell people things couldn't be better as people don't want to know at all.

I just don't talk about me at all in the 'real' world - about anything.

weegie.geek

Miroslav wrote: »

You'd be surprised. Some of the 'depressed' people I have met, have also been the least accepting.

Just ask my last 'love interest' - okay, she was a bit more than depressed, but I find alot of depressed people caring only about themselves. Not that I blame them, as it's probably lack of care and affection that has helped them along the road they have been on.

Don't get me started on the crazy girls. I seem to be a bit of a magnet for them.

I see your point though. I think it's good, in a way, to be selfish sometimes. It stops me from imploding, if that makes sense. It can take all my time and effort to look after myself, without worrying about anyone else. Last time I did have to make a real effort to look after someone else it damn near killed me.

Being in a relationship with someone else with mental health problems can be good, because you understand each other, and fine if you're both peaking. It can be good to have someone around who knows what's going on when you're troughing as well, and can be supportive. If you both trough at the same time it can get very messy, and very self-destructive.

That's a person to person thing though, and not really a "support group" like this.

Stephb1986_2

hey everyone how are you all today?

ive just finished working and then cleaned up our ironing room so it looks tidyer i also built a new kennel for my dog we've had it on top of her old kennel for a while in a cardboard box its plastic and just clips together so it only took me ten mins

Steph xxx

Diamond78

Its not even so much about the money but more about him being a proper dad to my son. I know he has anger problems and he hasnt hit or beat me for over 3 years now but the mental abuse has gone on forever. I have given him chance after chance as each time he swears his changed ect. having issues and problems myself(not with anger) i have tried to help him and forgiven my ex for the violence but i will never forget.

I grw up without a dad, i begged to have a dad that loved me and adored me, all my friends i knew had dads i was the only one who never, coz he was a woman beater, a gambler and my mum left him when i was 7. It broke my heart not seein my dad and my mum stopped me seeing him. He never bothered after that, my dad gave up on me and culdnt care less.

Its like history repeating itself. i have told spermdonor not to do the same as i dont want my son growing up hating him. I know my ex needs help, he knows everyone knows but he wont. He lost the plot when his nan died nearly 7 years ago, i have tried to help hiim ect but i can only take so much.

My son is sooo lovely, so caring and all children want is to be loved, given attention and to play. My son gets unconditional love from me, we have a fantastic bond and we are best friends and always will be. Up until recently my son has wanted to see his dad when he speak to him on the phone so I have allowed it, i have tried my hardest to protect my son and i have.

I put a posted a htread about CSA and another user has said why have i put my son at risk when his the way he is. I feel like im being called a bad mother now, im not a bad mother, never have been. I dont want my son growing up not knowing whos his family is. Maybe i should of kept my son away from him but my son cannot resent me for anything, I have tried, I gave my ex chances to be a proper dad, i gave him time to pull himself together, so have i done wrong??Should i of not allowed no contact what so ever so my son could grow up thinking and believing my comulsive lying ex that i stopped contact?

I feel i cant win and feel now even more of a failure than ever. Its all my fault then for everything thats happened in my life. Ppl dont understand what its like when you have been in a violent and abusive relathionship unless they have been in the situation, he brainwashed me, i lost my friends, i didnt have family as it is aprt from my brother who didnt know about the violence till a lot later on. I lost all confidence,self esteem and respect.

Miroslav

weegie.geek wrote: »

Don't get me started on the crazy girls. I seem to be a bit of a magnet for them.

I see your point though. I think it's good, in a way, to be selfish sometimes. It stops me from imploding, if that makes sense. It can take all my time and effort to look after myself, without worrying about anyone else. Last time I did have to make a real effort to look after someone else it damn near killed me.

Being in a relationship with someone else with mental health problems can be good, because you understand each other, and fine if you're both peaking. It can be good to have someone around who knows what's going on when you're troughing as well, and can be supportive. If you both trough at the same time it can get very messy, and very self-destructive.

That's a person to person thing though, and not really a "support group" like this.

There must be a whole lot of crazy girls - either that or you've had mine and i've had.....yeah, maybe

That's where i'm different I guess. I like having someone to look after - that way I don't have to notice myself. Don't get me wrong, although I don't train as hard in weights as I used too, I still do work in my own home, but if someone needs something, I make every effort to do as much as I can. It's been the same all my life - daughter, partners, flatmate etc etc. The only downside is that with the exception of 1 partner (I won't include daughter as was too young) none of them have reciprocated (?) and I always end up being used. You'd have thought someone my size would just slap them about, but I don't :rotfl:

My last relationship was a big issue - she was very selfish and very much all about her and she didn't understand anything about me. It's a good job it ended, or i'd have been dragged down for far longer than I was.

This is just an internet thing. No-one knows each other (at least I don't) and we are all here for the same reason and the sole reason, at least to start with.

Miroslav

Diamond78 wrote: »

Its not even so much about the money but more about him being a proper dad to my son. I know he has anger problems and he hasnt hit or beat me for over 3 years now but the mental abuse has gone on forever. I have given him chance after chance as each time he swears his changed ect. having issues and problems myself(not with anger) i have tried to help him and forgiven my ex for the violence but i will never forget.

I grw up without a dad, i begged to have a dad that loved me and adored me, all my friends i knew had dads i was the only one who never, coz he was a woman beater, a gambler and my mum left him when i was 7. It broke my heart not seein my dad and my mum stopped me seeing him. He never bothered after that, my dad gave up on me and culdnt care less.

Its like history repeating itself. i have told spermdonor not to do the same as i dont want my son growing up hating him. I know my ex needs help, he knows everyone knows but he wont. He lost the plot when his nan died nearly 7 years ago, i have tried to help hiim ect but i can only take so much.

My son is sooo lovely, so caring and all children want is to be loved, given attention and to play. My son gets unconditional love from me, we have a fantastic bond and we are best friends and always will be. Up until recently my son has wanted to see his dad when he speak to him on the phone so I have allowed it, i have tried my hardest to protect my son and i have.

I put a posted a htread about CSA and another user has said why have i put my son at risk when his the way he is. I feel like im being called a bad mother now, im not a bad mother, never have been. I dont want my son growing up not knowing whos his family is. Maybe i should of kept my son away from him but my son cannot resent me for anything, I have tried, I gave my ex chances to be a proper dad, i gave him time to pull himself together, so have i done wrong??Should i of not allowed no contact what so ever so my son could grow up thinking and believing my comulsive lying ex that i stopped contact?

I feel i cant win and feel now even more of a failure than ever. Its all my fault then for everything thats happened in my life. Ppl dont understand what its like when you have been in a violent and abusive relathionship unless they have been in the situation, he brainwashed me, i lost my friends, i didnt have family as it is aprt from my brother who didnt know about the violence till a lot later on. I lost all confidence,self esteem and respect.

I guess we all have reasons for our points of view and i'm guessing the other poster didn't grow up without a father like you or I, or at least in my case, a loving one - I had a step father who beat me daily, hence I took up body building - I don't see him often now, but he doesn't even think about starting on me now :rotfl:

Your son's father cannot turn around in a few years and say he didn't have chances and your most important concern in all of this, is your son and if that means you have to go through official channels to get what is rightfully is, then so be it.

It might be what his father needs to wake him up.

I'd give anything to have my daughter back, but it's never going to happen, so it makes me furious when parents don't want to be involved in their kids lives and/or don't want to contribute to giving them the best childhood possible.

Miroslav

Right, that's me done for a little while.

Off to do something else........don't know what, but can't talk depression all day, i'm depressed enough as it is

Should do some weights then some lunch I suppose.

Hope the rest of the day is good to all and I shall try to return later

:wave:

week

Miroslav wrote: »

For sure, but shazrobo mentioned depression, which is what I was talking about. Other mental (and physical) illnesses can be inherited for sure, although as far as I know, none of my estranged family have been diagnosed with anything, but then my 'mental health' has been down to things that have happened, as opposed to inherited.

Let's hope your daughter misses the train this time.

Thanks for your reply. I will be keeping an eye on my daughter for sure!! I was diagnosed with "depression" due to supposed circumstances from the age of 25 but it took almost 20 years of recurrent bouts, counselors, doctors, and a catalogue of events to be properly diagnosed as BP. I get very depressed and can also get very high(in a silly,mad way) and can be both at once, if you can imagine that. Right now I am in the high side as on AD and nothing else (until I see my psychiatrist again). This was after 12 months on the low end and taking anti psychotic meds. It is very very hard to get a happy medium.
I would rather be high than low but it mucks up your life (and work) as people think you are mad. My daughter said last night I was acting like I was "tipsy" and I got upset as I gave up alcohol 2 and a half years ago (and went through hell with her attitude when I used to drink).
I really must go and do the dishes, make beds etc. will b bk later.
K.
xx