Depression Support Thread

slowlyfading

razorbladekisses wrote: »

Earlier today I had a huge urge to overdose again. I really wanted to do it and I still do. Other than my job I have nothing to live for and what's the point living just to work. I don't have any close family or friends so it's not like I'd be leaving many people behind. I've had enough of this so-called life and just want it to end.

Oh sweetie. ((HUGS)) are being sent your way. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, or to give you some encouragement, but I know that when you are feeling like this, most things don't help. If you would like, I can give you my mobile number and you can phone me when you're feeling low. I probably won't have any answers, but sometimes just being able to talk to someone might help...? :beer: take care of yourself. xx

Diamond78

RAZORBLADEKISSES, awww please dont be so hard on yourself. Im not sure whats happened as Ive not been on again for a while. I seem to not come on when im feeling so low. I hate these mood swings I have, I can be ok for a bit but then sudenly come crashing down. I have realised the main trigger being not taking my AD, i hate it so much. Im on seroxat liquid. I use to be on 8 spoons a day, reduced to 6 and now 4 spoons, i have severe side affects as in trembling, shaking ect but when i was taking 8 spoons I felt suicidal. In the past I had taken overdoses, long before I had my son which is why i do not like taking tablets, i hate them. I also have ahistory of self harm and have very bad scars on my arms which all started when i was a tenager. I have self harmed on and off throughout the years, some just little cuts some bad but luckily have not done any bads ones for over a year. I have wanted to so much, unless someone has been through it no one really understands.I tend to get judged as Im some kindo psyco but Im not. My doctor knows about it ect and have had coucelling before but now i have moved and in a new place which is a !!!! hole but am being strong for my son. I still get the urge of cutting my arms but I dont know, it passes after a while. I regret it as the summer time i have to cover up and i look odd with long sleeves on, my son thinks i fell on glass on one arm and on the other i said i burnt it on the grill. Its hard coz i have all different type of cuts aswell as 1 fg burn, i feel ashamed but thats coz i had no help and ppl have made me fel ashamed of it. I would die if my son did such a thing, to cause yourself pain, dunno how to explain it.

I am hoping oneday when i feel better I can help ppl that have or are suffering with self harm. RAZORBLADEKISS please you have so much to live for, i know you say you havent got anybody but you have us. I only have my son and he is the only one keeping me alive. You have us, you may not know us but we all care about one another regardless of where we are and what we do.

I feel better when i listen to music that makes me want to dance altho i dont dance its just nce as it puts a smile on my face.

Im having such a rough time at the moment, my ex is giving me grief and being really mean and horrible, not just to me but my son.My brother is still not talking to me so I have no one to talk to. i go on facebook and have friends on there but no one i actually see and most i do ot know personally, i am quite sad, i actually look at ppls profiles and add ppl and sometimes chat thru facebook and sometimes dont. There are groups on there, for example i love shameless, there are lots of ppl on these groups, all different kind of groups lol, maybe sign up and i will guide u along, it takes away boredom but then again i dont think it helps being stuck in front of the laptop.

I am seeing a councillor tomoro,i havent seen one in over a year and im in a new area and new flat so i feel weird about the whole thing. I hate having to go through everything i have been through. Its like starting all over again but i am aware its a slow and painfull process with bringing everything up and out again. I have never had a suitable councillor i have felt at ease with, i think tomoro is just an assesment interview.I will be in tears I know but atleast im going and showing some kind of interest altho i really dont want to go.

Sorry for my spelling , my nails are long and my son is still awake so am looking at him and this at the same time,I also applied for a course as I want to be a teacher eventually but what if they think my depresion is going to affect it. The course is oneday a week and i have to have an interview next week, its fr classroom assistant, I dont want to mention my depression but should i maybe. I also have to do 2 days a week at a school as a volunteer and my sons school said i may be able to do it there as long as i have proof. But am worried its obvious im a depressed person, and what about my arms in the summer, i cannot hide it forever.

sorry ive gone on and on and on as usual. Im dreading tomoro, i take zispin if anyone knows it, its also an AD it helps sleep where as before i couldnt but i wake up so mich, i have weird and sometimes scary dreams.

Chat soon guys, i hope ur all feeling a bit better,probaly not after reading my post lol, anyway better go i will be back in a bit hugs and luv to u all xxxxx

rose07

BigMummaF wrote: »

Afternoon Peeps....nice to see our Tiffy back on form innit:p

Oh Tulip...got any room in your suitcase for an extra-large ellifump who answers to BMF:p I've not ventured further north than Leeds, but I would like to see the Highlands...hope you've got your thermals & fur-lined boots

Unfortunately--or perhaps fortunately cuz he feels a lot better for being there--BIL went back into the hospice yesterday. Dependant on blood test results being done today, he will have further treatment tomorrow. He was really poorly over the weekend, so I'm trying to be positive but I don't think it's looking good.....

It's started raining here, but the sun is shining...perhaps Someone is trying to tell me something:o

I hope you are keeping warm, & doing your best to keep well, & I wish you Peaceful Minds folks. BMFx

How r u ?

sounds like your bil is battling on. sometimes that is all we can do. We have to keep going, we only get one shot at this rollercoaster of life, and its what we make of it that matters. All you can do is be there for your bil and i will be here for you

oh you right bout the weather btw, absolutely bucketing it tonight

much love
talk soon
xxx

geminilady

razorbladekisses wrote: »

Earlier today I had a huge urge to overdose again. I really wanted to do it and I still do. Other than my job I have nothing to live for and what's the point living just to work. I don't have any close family or friends so it's not like I'd be leaving many people behind. I've had enough of this so-called life and just want it to end.

Hi rbk:hello: Sorry you are feeling so bad but it will get better,i am not just saying that because if you think back you will know that you do have good days when things do not look so black.It is just when you feel so down it is hard to remember the good days and to think you will feel better.The point of living is that you have a future and nobody knows what that may bring.You might fall in love,have children that will love you,make some great friends,have a career.My point is you do not know what happiness awaits you and if you take away your life you never will know.

rose07

Sazbo wrote: »

And rosie - you be careful with our portugese friend:D He better treat you right!

Sxxx

thank you sazzie, dont worry if he a **** i will send him to you and tiffy and mumma:rotfl:

he seems lovely tho, he been texting me all day, and we now have a day, thursday is d-day lol

how r u doing? work still busy? guess it never stops does it?
I got promoted today...no only joking. But my boss is leaving, and i have to take over from him, and soo i have to learn everything in the next 2 weeks :eek::eek::eek:. I have enuff to do :mad:

hope your ok
huggles
xxx

rose07

meyore wrote: »

Hi rose, glad you're still enjoying the exercise, even if its crippling you! I like it better when you can feel it the next day, but I'm not sure if I've ever felt it as bad as the whole pole thing...

I know what you mean about the crunches-when you asked me about them the other day I wanted to explain that sort of thing, but its hard to put into words isn't it?!

I'm ok, I've been very lazy and not bothering with much exercise recently-getting weighed tomorrow, so I hope I don't regret it...

As for the dancing, I guess its exercise, but if you were drinking then I think the calories in that may have cancelled it out-sorry... :rotfl:

I hope you're ok, we'll catch up soon I'm sure.

Xx

hi how r u today?

yes the spinning went a bit too farr for me :rotfl:

yes hard explain crunches, when my personal trainer was tellin me i was like are ya sure? :rotfl:

I went to tae bo tonight, took alot of guts to coz my mate didnt come tonight, so i went on my own, and took alot coz the class was soo full musta been 30 of us there :eek:

the girl with anarexia was there again, she kept having to take 5 mins to get a drink, didnt know what to do really

ohh darn i was hoping the fact that i was dancing with the most gorgeous guy woulda helped me loose weight, but yes your right about the drink god darn it lol


much love

xxxx

rose07

cat9586 wrote: »

Hi,
Sorry I didnt reply sooner, been very low the last week. Been sleeping a lot and not up to talking much.
How are you feeling?
Catherine
xxx

dont worry

how r u feelin now?

I understand the feelin of wanting to isolate yaself and hiding away, if ya need to talk give me a pm

i have a headache

remember to just take one day at a time

huggles
xxx

rose07

blinky wrote: »

Let us know if we need to start another hat fund

MIght be a while bfore that lol

how r u hun?
xxx

meyore

rose07 wrote: »

hi how r u today?

yes the spinning went a bit too farr for me :rotfl:

yes hard explain crunches, when my personal trainer was tellin me i was like are ya sure? :rotfl:

I went to tae bo tonight, took alot of guts to coz my mate didnt come tonight, so i went on my own, and took alot coz the class was soo full musta been 30 of us there :eek:

the girl with anarexia was there again, she kept having to take 5 mins to get a drink, didnt know what to do really

ohh darn i was hoping the fact that i was dancing with the most gorgeous guy woulda helped me loose weight, but yes your right about the drink god darn it lol


much love

xxxx

Hiya rosie, you sound pretty chirpy at the moment-could it be the new man...

Well done for going to tae bo alone-its scary at first isn't it? But when you think about it, having a friend there isn't much use, its not as if you're sitting and chatting :rotfl:

I went to cardio tone tonight, which was hard work, its like step and aerobics and circuit training combined and at the moment its my fav. And I've managed to lose some weight in the last month, so I'm very happy with that!

Feeling sort of all over the place today. I managed to go all day without getting anxious once-usually it comes on when I'm driving to work, but most days I can ignore it until it goes away. When I realised that today had been anxiety free the first thing I did was get nervous about why!

Missing OH a lot today-just want this separation part over and to be together properly. I thought I'd found the ideal place for us to get married, but then I saw the price and my eyes nearly popped out! I'll think of something though, it really is a beautiful place.

Anyways, I'm not sure I'm thinking straight, so I probably don't make much sense, but I hope you're ok.

Xx

meyore

rose07 wrote: »

ohh darn i was hoping the fact that i was dancing with the most gorgeous guy woulda helped me loose weight, but yes your right about the drink god darn it lol

And I'm very glad you're going out and enjoying yourself. I think I'll take a leaf out of your book, I haven't been out since Christmas and its no good. Think I'm going up to stay with OH this weekend (although I say that every week, and he always ends up coming home ) so he can take me out and show me a good time up there!

Xx