Depression Support Thread

piggeh

feelinggood wrote: »

Just a quick question. Piggeh, you say you spent a few years as an alcoholic. How did you recovery/stop drinking?

As it was generally because I was trying to forget the problems I was having, I got rid of the problems (ie by leaving university). It was almost an overnight thing. Once I left I didnt have to worry about not fitting in and not being able to go to lectures etc, so it was an instant 'improvement' really. Helps when your family is around as well I guess as it was difficult to see them at uni. Only when I took a trip home did I eventually discuss my problems (whilst blubbing like a girl - nice look at 20 years old), and decided I needed to get out.

I ended up crying last night after writing what I wrote before and getting emotional now. Havent been so in quite a while and I felt too down to go into work today. Bit worried that this will get worse but not something I wish for work to know about.

Horasio

A new month - the weather has gone quieter but forecast to be bad again at the weekend. At least it is a restful one. Seeing the house again Monday.

Happy Birthday - QueenswayBoy:)

Horace

queensway_boy wrote: »

Hi everyone


Well now i'm an official member of the "silver savers" forum:D

just waitin for the "saga" magazine to pop through the letterbox:D

Happy birthday.:beer:

Just think of the savings - cheaper car insurance, saga hols, saga radio even a bus pass (oops just realised that you are not quite old enough for a free bus pass:D ) Just think when you're 60 you can become a twirly with your free pass (as the pass kicks in at 9.30 in brum, we call the oaps that arrive at the stop before 9.30 - twirlies - stands for too early).

queensway_boy

Thanks everyone


I know some of you need hugs so here you are











................................................................




.............................................




I just can't get the hang of this :rotfl:

Horasio

I feel very strange today.

I am wondering why I am bothering. I make myself look good, I do things to make myself feel good but within a short time, someone or something will spoil my nice feeling. I don't expect perfection but some time off from cr*p, hurt and boredom would be nice.

If I did get a job or run a business, I would have to come home to my OH who doesn't help me maintain any happy feeling I generate from anything I do that makes me feel good. I get to the stage I can't be bothered and certainly don't want to do any boring job that he generates. Sometime I feel I would like to have a 'bit on the side', something nice to look forward to, instead of boredom, more boredom, frustration, then tears of sadness as a result.

Things are not good on the physical front and even when they were, he used to reject me and upset me since we got married. Every time I feel anything for him, it is tinged with sadness now due to being rejected so many times. It seems to be my fate, be rejected, ignored or abused. I make the effort and nice to people because I want to be nice but get it thrown in my face and made to feel in the wrong for who I am.

I am having to decide, do I stay with a person who makes me feel rotten for feeling and being loving or when I'm not feeling great or keep going? I feel quite disillusioned about life and where I can go from here. I don't feel any man is genuine, I feel once they get their way with you, they go off you.

It is coming up to another anniversary and feel nothing anymore, just another year, feeling life has passed me by.

I have been 'fancying' people much like a teenager today which is making me feel sad and anxious. Fancying anyone else can only end in tears, as I risk being rejected again. I am told I am loved by my OH but how can he treat me the way he does if he loves me? How can he shout at me when I feel low and grumpy, how can he reject me sexually, how come he wants to spoil anything that I enjoy and feel happy about it, how can he say he will clean the house then not do it when we were working full time?

I don't feel marriage is a nice place, it is a resentful battleground and feel I have endured too much over the years. It now feels normal and can't see anything outside to be any better.

Tulip

HAPPY

5OTH BIRTHDAY

QUEENSWAY BOY


love and light,

Katie xxx

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Hope all is well,I am fine today had a good day,took my mug home that I designed I met my new teacher and shes fun and really nice

Next week is my last pottery class before my holiday to Scotland as well so looking forward to that as I need a break as I havent been on holiday for ages

I went to my daycentre and I did a food shop afterwards,took thank you letters to shops who had donated prizes for a raffle we had at christmas

came home and scanned everything for shop and scan and transmitted codes to their website so thats done for this week

relaxing tonight and this weekend I will be catching up with my sleep as I need it


*hugs* to those that need one

love and light,

Katie xxx

Horace

CCStar wrote: »

I feel very strange today.

I am wondering why I am bothering. I make myself look good, I do things to make myself feel good but within a short time, someone or something will spoil my nice feeling. I don't expect perfection but some time off from cr*p, hurt and boredom would be nice.

If I did get a job or run a business, I would have to come home to my OH who doesn't help me maintain any happy feeling I generate from anything I do that makes me feel good. I get to the stage I can't be bothered and certainly don't want to do any boring job that he generates. Sometime I feel I would like to have a 'bit on the side', something nice to look forward to, instead of boredom, more boredom, frustration, then tears of sadness as a result.

Things are not good on the physical front and even when they were, he used to reject me and upset me since we got married. Every time I feel anything for him, it is tinged with sadness now due to being rejected so many times. It seems to be my fate, be rejected, ignored or abused. I make the effort and nice to people because I want to be nice but get it thrown in my face and made to feel in the wrong for who I am.

I am having to decide, do I stay with a person who makes me feel rotten for feeling and being loving or when I'm not feeling great or keep going? I feel quite disillusioned about life and where I can go from here. I don't feel any man is genuine, I feel once they get their way with you, they go off you.

It is coming up to another anniversary and feel nothing anymore, just another year, feeling life has passed me by.

I have been 'fancying' people much like a teenager today which is making me feel sad and anxious. Fancying anyone else can only end in tears, as I risk being rejected again. I am told I am loved by my OH but how can he treat me the way he does if he loves me? How can he shout at me when I feel low and grumpy, how can he reject me sexually, how come he wants to spoil anything that I enjoy and feel happy about it, how can he say he will clean the house then not do it when we were working full time?

I don't feel marriage is a nice place, it is a resentful battleground and feel I have endured too much over the years. It now feels normal and can't see anything outside to be any better.

I used to feel like that CC but I took the bull by the horns and left my ex-OH - I moved into my own place last year and immediately felt loads better. My ex-OH voilunteered to work permanent nights immediately after we got married boy that decision really boosted my confidence (note hint of sarcasm here). When he eventually switched to days, he started playing mind games which surprisingly I put up with for quite a long time. One of the last straws was when he went missing at a bike rally (I was there too) some of my chums (they were also his mates) came to find me and took me to a tent that he had been seen entering - the stoopid twonk hadn't switched the light off so his performance was there for everyone to see so much so that some of us made cards and were holding them up giving him and It marks out of 10:D I was angry and embarrassed all at the same time which is why I and our chums rated the performance - he even had the nerve to say that he was having coffee with this creature (since when does anyone drink coffee lying on top of someone else?). I stupidly carried on putting up with his mind games and then I met someone (yes, I admit to having an affair) - I wasn't looking for anyone but we started out as friends and something just clicked. Now I am still with the new chap but he lives in London and I live in Birmingham. Its fab, I can do what I want when I want without someone moaning or playing silly beggars.

I was fed up of just existing because I wasnt allowed to have a life, my friends were not allowed to visit so I never invited anyone home, I had to constantly report my whereabouts woebetide if I spent an hour longer at my parents than I had intended because he would phone to ask where I was. As soon as I left, a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders (although it was replaced with another one when I was made redundant last year). Life is pretty good at the mo although I do have dark days but I still see ex-OH who has become a friend now. Our relationship was pants and I should never have married him in the first place and I realise that now. Hey ho such is life.

CC you can only do what is best for you, if your OH isnt respectful then you dont have to put up with it - life is out there for the taking - go out and grab it because life is too short to put up with cr*ppy relationships.

weegie.geek

CCStar wrote: »

I feel very strange today.

I am wondering why I am bothering. I make myself look good, I do things to make myself feel good but within a short time, someone or something will spoil my nice feeling. I don't expect perfection but some time off from cr*p, hurt and boredom would be nice.

If I did get a job or run a business, I would have to come home to my OH who doesn't help me maintain any happy feeling I generate from anything I do that makes me feel good. I get to the stage I can't be bothered and certainly don't want to do any boring job that he generates. Sometime I feel I would like to have a 'bit on the side', something nice to look forward to, instead of boredom, more boredom, frustration, then tears of sadness as a result.

Things are not good on the physical front and even when they were, he used to reject me and upset me since we got married. Every time I feel anything for him, it is tinged with sadness now due to being rejected so many times. It seems to be my fate, be rejected, ignored or abused. I make the effort and nice to people because I want to be nice but get it thrown in my face and made to feel in the wrong for who I am.

I am having to decide, do I stay with a person who makes me feel rotten for feeling and being loving or when I'm not feeling great or keep going? I feel quite disillusioned about life and where I can go from here. I don't feel any man is genuine, I feel once they get their way with you, they go off you.

It is coming up to another anniversary and feel nothing anymore, just another year, feeling life has passed me by.

I have been 'fancying' people much like a teenager today which is making me feel sad and anxious. Fancying anyone else can only end in tears, as I risk being rejected again. I am told I am loved by my OH but how can he treat me the way he does if he loves me? How can he shout at me when I feel low and grumpy, how can he reject me sexually, how come he wants to spoil anything that I enjoy and feel happy about it, how can he say he will clean the house then not do it when we were working full time?

I don't feel marriage is a nice place, it is a resentful battleground and feel I have endured too much over the years. It now feels normal and can't see anything outside to be any better.

Leave the !!!!!!!. Or at least tell him to start treating you better or you will.

Maybe there's stuff going on in his life that you don't know about that might explain - but not excuse - his behaviour. Maybe he doesn't realise what he's doing.

Either way, you two need to talk about what he's doing, why he's doing it, and how it makes you feel.

It doesn't sound like much of a marriage to me, so why waste your time with him when you'd be happier on your own, if not with someone else?

Horasio

Horace wrote: »

I used to feel like that CC but I took the bull by the horns and left my ex-OH - I moved into my own place last year and immediately felt loads better. My ex-OH voilunteered to work permanent nights immediately after we got married boy that decision really boosted my confidence (note hint of sarcasm here). When he eventually switched to days, he started playing mind games which surprisingly I put up with for quite a long time. One of the last straws was when he went missing at a bike rally (I was there too) some of my chums (they were also his mates) came to find me and took me to a tent that he had been seen entering - the stoopid twonk hadn't switched the light off so his performance was there for everyone to see so much so that some of us made cards and were holding them up giving him and It marks out of 10:D I was angry and embarrassed all at the same time which is why I and our chums rated the performance - he even had the nerve to say that he was having coffee with this creature (since when does anyone drink coffee lying on top of someone else?). I stupidly carried on putting up with his mind games and then I met someone (yes, I admit to having an affair) - I wasn't looking for anyone but we started out as friends and something just clicked. Now I am still with the new chap but he lives in London and I live in Birmingham. Its fab, I can do what I want when I want without someone moaning or playing silly beggars.

I was fed up of just existing because I wasnt allowed to have a life, my friends were not allowed to visit so I never invited anyone home, I had to constantly report my whereabouts woebetide if I spent an hour longer at my parents than I had intended because he would phone to ask where I was. As soon as I left, a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders (although it was replaced with another one when I was made redundant last year). Life is pretty good at the mo although I do have dark days but I still see ex-OH who has become a friend now. Our relationship was pants and I should never have married him in the first place and I realise that now. Hey ho such is life.

CC you can only do what is best for you, if your OH isnt respectful then you dont have to put up with it - life is out there for the taking - go out and grab it because life is too short to put up with cr*ppy relationships.

I am so scared of how I feel today. He is driving me round the bend - I gave him some coins to cash at the bank and I told him they were £9 after I double checked it and they said it was £6. He didn't question it, so I am £3 down. He claims I didn't tell him but I told him time and time again. So much for listening to me. It was the cherry on the cake today on top of the blue feeling I have about our marriage and how imprisoned and uncared for I feel.

I feel so blue, he drives me crazy. I asked him to get some 3 in 1 for a squeaky door and he messed about doing that which ended up in a row and he threatened to bash my face. He has gone out to get some but dread him coming back, he will either be sickly nice or horrible if I don't respond to it. He wants sympathy but I need a decent husband who genuinely cares about ME and not keep upsetting me whenever I feel happy or unwell.

There is nothing making me happy. It is all work and any play is ruined by his what must be 'mind games'. Every holiday, nice occasion or anything that makes me happy, he has a way of reducing me to tears by being aloof and distant. Of course he blames me and I thought it was me before. We are about to be made homeless in 58 days and can't stand the thought of being with him and don't know anyone else because, whilst he never says we can't have anyone round, he brings me down so much, I can't have anyone round. He doesn't actually forbid me to do anything in words but the miserable feeling he gives me is enough for me to do it to myself.

I can afford my own place to rent but don't know where to go. I don't want to be near my mother, as she drove me out with her controlling ways, which is why I am in a horrible marriage. All I have ever known is 'nice' controlling people and can't trust anyone now.

I wish I could die in a quick and painless way tonight. I feel my only choices are being in another place that he will ruin and hurt me emotionally again or live somewhere noisy, alone and be bullied.