Depression Support Thread

Stephb1986_2

Yeah welcome to all the new people please dont be scared to post i dont bite (well hard) i hope your all doing well today? Im still not 100% from the weekend i cant stop running to the loo (i wont go into details)

I ordered some stuff from ann summers last night for my fella for valentines day shame i have to wear it like lol! He best appreciate it anyway!

Good luck for today RBK i'm thinking of you.

hugs and kisses to everyone who needs or wants one

Stephb xx

Tiff_2

Hi rbk!:hello:
How are you feeling hunnie? It sounds as though things are really tough for you right now angel. I understand that you're really dreading today - but hang in there, hun. I know it's all interlinked but we can still try and break it down a little. Let's have a look here sweetie...

razorbladekisses wrote:

..... My manager told me to bring in my coursework, which I did and she said she would go through it with me. It got to 2:30 and she said I haven't looked at it yet but can I have a word. So I went into the consultation room with her and she tells me how concerned she is, that she's noticed cuts/scars (employer is aware of me self-harming) anyway I said they are old cuts but my GP/social worker is aware of my recent cutting. She asked to see the cuts. I explained that they were horrible but she insisted that she saw them. I showed them and she says I'm now even more worried. She's informed the area manager and he is coming on Wednesday. She made me make an appointment with my GP (I wasn't going to go back as I thought it was pointless).
Today at work she called me out the back and she said go and show 'x' employee your arms. I am friendly with this employee but definately don't want to go around showing my cuts to her, so I said no way. She then said to me you'll be showing the area manager your arms on Wednesday. i said no I won't, she said yes you will :mad: I'm scared of what is going to happen. I've only just been put back on my Pharmacy course (taken off it last year 'cos I was in and out of hosp.) and I fear he will remove me again.
I also found out today that she told another employee on Friday that the area manager will be coming to see me and she also told this employee about the cuts on my arms!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:
I am so !!!!ed off it's untrue. I feel like nothing is private and that they are all plotting against me or something.

razorbladekisses wrote:

I'm not looking forward to the meeting with the area manager. I just feel like it will be those two against me. I will probably just fall apart and they will be like right you're not stable enough to cope with the course blah blah blah. I work everyday Mon-Sat and I'm working towards an NVQ 3 in pharmacy services. It's done via distance learning......

razorbladekisses wrote:

Ugh :mad: I found out today that in fact 2/3 employees were told about my self-harm on Friday. !!!! sake! Well not long until Wednesday. I have a Doctor's appointment before i see the area manager. I'm getting even more worried and anxious about the meeting. Beginning to get quite tearful about it too. I just want it to be over. I can just see myself falling apart and looking a right mess.

razorbladekisses wrote:

Cut myself last night. Another 3 open wounds to deal with. I tried to put steri-strips over the wounds to hold it together to stop the bleeding/reduce scaring but it's hard to do it one-handed and needless to say they kept coming off.

The one good thing here angel, is that she made you book an appt with your gp. Whether or not you can see it sweetheart, going back to the dr is never pointless. Feeling like that is part of the illness and if you really feel that way, then maybe you could see another dr, rbk. I know this has been a long-term issue for you angel and God knows we get sick and tired of feeling how we do and lose hope. But there is something out there that will work for you angel - it's just not been found yet. Please stay in regular contact with your dr and be completely honest hun. And I don't want to hear anything about you not being worth it, ok? You've come this far and you're working towards a future angel - it will be so worth it.

Firstly, your manager was wrong not to go through your work with you, rbk. That was part of her job and she failed in it.
Secondly, it sounds as though she hounded you into showing her your scars hun - she had no legal right to do this and I can understand why you felt cornered. This is just plain wrong! She had no right to insist on this.
We may give her some credit for talking to you in private hunnie, and for expressing apparently genuine concern. We also have to consider their Health & Safety side of things but, if you're not a risk to anyone, or to yourself, at work, then the only person she should be asking questions of, is your CPN or Psychiatrist - and they will ask for your permission first before they respond.
!!! I'm more than a bit tiffed-off as you can see. This is where she stepped way over the mark.
It seems that she has breached employee confidentiality and may even have breached the Data Protection Act by telling your co-workers. My advice to you on this point rbk, would be to visit CAB about your options. This sounds like bullying and with CAB's help hun, they can help to at least remind her of the employment and confidentiality laws. Of course you feel scared hunnie - she's bullying you, imho. It's gone from probably genuine concern to overstepping her legal boundary.

Hunnie, please no more cutting - just for me ok?
Let's calm this all down and even the fight up a bit, if we can angel...

- everything you're feeling is completely natural in this situation. Anybody would feel the way you do. By bullying you, by telling your colleagues about your health issues, she has taken away what control you felt you had over the situation and that's intimidating to anyone. Don't get upset about how you're feeling sweetheart - you have every right to feel the way you do. Try and remember that you're not in the wrong hunnie, because it may help you stay a bit calmer.

- is there someone you can take with you for moral support to this meeting angel? You won't feel so outnumbered then.


- go to the dr and tell him all that's happened - as I always say, print off your post to show him if you find it hard to open up, angel. Tell the dr you'd like more help, that what you have now isn't really working for you and worrying about that makes you feel worse. I know it's not the way it's supposed to be hunnie, but we have to keep going back until they get it right.


- you do not have to show them your wounds rbk. They have no right to ask this of you.


Uh-oh - can't help it - Tiffy letter warning...

Dear Area Manager, (put their name),
I have written this statement in preparation for our meeting today, which was arranged by (Manager's name). I would like to formally complain about the way (Manager's name) has acted over the last week.

My manager and I had a confidential conversation earlier in the week at her request, in which she voiced concerns over my health. I truly appreciate the support I receive from you and I know there are concerns about my health. However, I felt very intimidated because she insisted that I show her my wounds, which I finally did. I was very reluctant to do this but she pressed the matter until I showed her them. She said she was more concerned and insisted that I make an appointment with my doctor there and then, which I did.

The following day (or whenever it was), she called me into the back and told me to show my scars to another employee. I refused and she kept telling me that I would and when I still refused, I was almost threatened with her insistence that I would have to show my arms at the meeting today, which I feel infringes on my privacy.

In addition, she has also told the other employees that I work with about my health issues, which should have remained confidential. This is a legal requirement in her role as my Manager and there can be no acceptable reason for her to have revealed my health issues to my colleagues. I don't deny that I have health issues that I am working on, but I feel that her handling of the situation has been appalling and shows no concern for my feelings or privacy.

As far as I'm aware, my work performance is not affected in any way and therefore, I can see no relevance in her actions. I am enjoying working here and my studying also, but my manager's mis-management of my private life is unacceptable. For anyone with a mental health issue, this kind of behaviour could actually have a detrimental effect on their health and is, at the very least, highly insensitive. Can you imagine how compromised I feel at work after these actions?

I am working on improving my health and I can't condone this behaviour in any way and I would appreciate it if this matter was addressed with my manager please, as my formal complaint against her. I will agree to raise any health concerns out of respect for yourself, at my own discretion, if and should they arise. Many thanks for your time and understanding.

Yours sincerely,


I hope this helps you feel a bit more in control angel. Feel free to use all, some or none of it.Good luck with the dr hunnie - and make sure you get those new wounds treated. I hope I haven't missed you, so I'll post this now.
You're not alone - we'll all be with you in thought sweetheart, ok?
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

shazrobo

morning all, hope everyone is ok this morn, thinking of rose and rbk this morning, hope your appointments go well.
having a lazy morning, still in my pjamas, and staying that way, feels comfy and cosy. going to try and motivate myself to start filling in sons DLA claim form again, his has nearly run out, why do they require so much effort to fill in?
can i join in with those that are unhappy with their weight, i weigh 13 and a half stone, and even tho i am six foot tall, its still overweight, my sons are overweight too, one weighs 12 stone, and other 11 and half and they only 12 yrs. kids meds have a side effect of weight gain, where as mine dont, so i've no excuse, apart from lack of exercise.
big hugs to all that need or want one
shaz x

Tiff_2

Hi dawny!:hello:
Nice to hear from you angel - we keep missing each other. As you will see from the above reply to rbk, the Tiffster is very much back in town!


quote=dawnylou
Hey Tiff - we just don't seem to see as much of you these days - I do hope that you are keeping well. Afterall if any of us are survivors - it is most certainly you!!
You are too kind with your praise sweetie - we all keep each other going here.

Yes please please don't feel you must suffer alone. I mean they even let ME in!!! :rotfl:
And they can't keep me out!!!



Seriously though, if you are reading this, and you are a regular MSEr, don't ever feel you will be judged here - you could even take on another name if you prefer.
Imho, for everyone who has posted here, there's always been someone who's been able to identify with them and understand. Mental ill health is a lonely enough road as it is, but no-one travels alone here. You can grab some support and find how to access some resources here and - correct me if I'm wrong guys - I've not heard of anyone regretting making a post on this thread.



BUT why should I care? Why should I feel shamed and embarrassed - because afterall this is an illness, just like any other illness. Why should I hide it away like a dirty little secret? Afterall that is probably what got me here in the first place - fighting it so much, trying to hide it and pretend I am normal..
...... - and you are normal!

Anyway...back to you Tiff!!
..........

I am glad that you felt able to be honest with your CPN. I know exactly what you are saying, but I find it hard to be 100% honest with myself never mind others!! :rotfl:Not that I am a fibber, just I would rather keep certain facts to myself. But are they even facts? Maybe not, maybe just some sort of awful misinterpretation brought about by my illness. A muddle of reality and fractions of things seen and read that have affected me in some way, stuck in my mind and confused the actual reality of things? Oh there I go again! :rotfl:
I understand what you mean hun. We can't expect the help to work if we don't give 100% honesty - no matter how ridiculous it sounds to us. The professionals can pick their way through all our words and hopefully then help us to understand ourselves. Think how great it'd feel, to be totally free, to not have to hide a single thought! I know it's an enormous leap of faith but I found it reassured me that I'm not barking mad and about to be locked up - something I think we all dread inside. Our confusion is usually a part of our ill health but trust me hunnie, they'll have heard it all before.

I just don't seem to be able to think straight! I'm sure a good nights sleep would sort it, but my doctor has advised meagainst taking any sort of sleeping pills - even herbal remedies... :rolleyes:
Remember that herbal and natural remedies are still medication, angel. Most medicines are derived from plants etc. I think it's important to recognize that - they're not just some kind of pick-me-up - they can affect you just as much as anything prescribed can and should be treated with serious respect accordingly. The words 'herbal' and 'natural' make them sound almost harmless, but you did the right thing sweetie - never take anything else without checking with your own dr first.

Tiff - for you - /quote



Right back at ya, hun - and to the rest of the clan too!
Take care angel - be kind to yourself.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

dawnylou

Tiff wrote: »

Hi dawny!:hello:
Nice to hear from you angel - we keep missing each other. As you will see from the above reply to rbk, the Tiffster is very much back in town!

Guess who just got back today?
That wild-eyed Tiff that had been away
Haven't changed, has lots to say
But man, I still think them cats are crazy

Peeps been asking if you were around
How you was, where you could be found
Told them you were living downtown
Driving all the old dogs crazy

The Tiff is back in town
The Tiff is back in town
I said
The Tiff is back in town
The Tiff is back in town......

dawnylou

Tiff wrote: »

Hi dawny!:hello:
Nice to hear from you angel - we keep missing each other. As you will see from the above reply to rbk, the Tiffster is very much back in town!


quote=dawnylou
Hey Tiff - we just don't seem to see as much of you these days - I do hope that you are keeping well. Afterall if any of us are survivors - it is most certainly you!!
You are too kind with your praise sweetie - we all keep each other going here.

Yes please please don't feel you must suffer alone. I mean they even let ME in!!! :rotfl:
And they can't keep me out!!!



Seriously though, if you are reading this, and you are a regular MSEr, don't ever feel you will be judged here - you could even take on another name if you prefer.
Imho, for everyone who has posted here, there's always been someone who's been able to identify with them and understand. Mental ill health is a lonely enough road as it is, but no-one travels alone here. You can grab some support and find how to access some resources here and - correct me if I'm wrong guys - I've not heard of anyone regretting making a post on this thread.



BUT why should I care? Why should I feel shamed and embarrassed - because afterall this is an illness, just like any other illness. Why should I hide it away like a dirty little secret? Afterall that is probably what got me here in the first place - fighting it so much, trying to hide it and pretend I am normal..
...... - and you are normal!

Anyway...back to you Tiff!!
..........

I am glad that you felt able to be honest with your CPN. I know exactly what you are saying, but I find it hard to be 100% honest with myself never mind others!! :rotfl:Not that I am a fibber, just I would rather keep certain facts to myself. But are they even facts? Maybe not, maybe just some sort of awful misinterpretation brought about by my illness. A muddle of reality and fractions of things seen and read that have affected me in some way, stuck in my mind and confused the actual reality of things? Oh there I go again! :rotfl:
I understand what you mean hun. We can't expect the help to work if we don't give 100% honesty - no matter how ridiculous it sounds to us. The professionals can pick their way through all our words and hopefully then help us to understand ourselves. Think how great it'd feel, to be totally free, to not have to hide a single thought! I know it's an enormous leap of faith but I found it reassured me that I'm not barking mad and about to be locked up - something I think we all dread inside. Our confusion is usually a part of our ill health but trust me hunnie, they'll have heard it all before.

I just don't seem to be able to think straight! I'm sure a good nights sleep would sort it, but my doctor has advised meagainst taking any sort of sleeping pills - even herbal remedies... :rolleyes:
Remember that herbal and natural remedies are still medication, angel. Most medicines are derived from plants etc. I think it's important to recognize that - they're not just some kind of pick-me-up - they can affect you just as much as anything prescribed can and should be treated with serious respect accordingly. The words 'herbal' and 'natural' make them sound almost harmless, but you did the right thing sweetie - never take anything else without checking with your own dr first.

Tiff - for you - /quote



Right back at ya, hun - and to the rest of the clan too!
Take care angel - be kind to yourself.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

I just think back to when I first started out here. You were so nice and supportive even after everything you had been through you still made time for me. And you continue to do the same now for everyone else.
I think you are very strong and full of courage!
A role model if you will


And although we might joke about it sometimes - we wouldn't want to keep you out!!

I have regretted posting here before though
Several times.
Only because I am so used to trying to deal with things alone rather than burdening others, so there are times I have come here to vent and then felt guilty afterwards.
Also I did once say something I felt I shouldn't have, I panicked and came back and deleted the post but someone quoted me!! :rotfl:

However all in all - I for one - am so glad that I found this thread.
Before I thought I was all alone, but nothing could be further from the truth!

Yes - when my doctor spoke of being referred to a Mental Health Team I thought 'OMG That's it, they are locking me up!!' :rotfl:

I still don't feel able to confide about my deepest thoughts - not least because I don't know if they are real! And that I believe is enough to make sure that they not only lock me up, but throw away the key too!! :rotfl:
I have always struggled to talk, maybe eventually that will change? Who knows?

Have a wonderful day x

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Morning! hope you are all ok,I am well today I am off to my church to see friends this morning then I am off to my craft course

Hope you all have a lovely day
Dawnylou had no problems with Asda returning game back and they didnt question me further over it,not sure about Boots though re skin care products sorry.

Good Luck RBK for today,thinking of you


*hugs* to those that need one


love and light,

Katie xxx

gario900

Hi PP's
Well, got up at 5.30 am yesterday , no sign of the cold,IT'S GONE at long last!!!!!:j
Ended up going to finish job and now i feel much better!!!
I think it was the cold that drained me out as i felt so low.
Didn't get home till 10pm ish, so just out my pit

Hope your all having a good day.

Gary

:A :A :A

PS Ethel, i think your phone has went potty, it keeps sending me the same text over and over again. x

BizzyBek

Well last night was a sod! Mum was in so much pain it put her body in shock. I couldn't stop her shaking and she could barely speak :eek:

Another doc from the practice came out today and they are going in for the top end painkillers and muscle relaxants. It's all well saying painkillers and move around but when the painkillers don't even touch it...

So I am very tired. My neighbour is popping me down to the chemists later this afternoon. So grateful to him!

Being so tired and that today I don't feel quite as strong and not up to walking round to the shop; having to watch the mind from wondering into negative thinking so ordered myself a couple of books

And so sad about Heath Ledger ;(

Tiff - you an inspiration on this thread - many words of wisdom in your posts!

Tiff_2

Hi dawny!:hello:

dawnylou wrote: »

Guess who just got back today?
That wild-eyed Tiff that had been away
Haven't changed, has lots to say
But man, I still think them cats are crazy

Peeps been asking if you were around
How you was, where you could be found
Told them you were living downtown
Driving all the old dogs crazy

The Tiff is back in town
The Tiff is back in town
I said
The Tiff is back in town
The Tiff is back in town......

Dawny! rofl!

Oh puhlessz tell me that they've chosen the song for this year's Eurovision already - quick before dawny starts recording!:eek: :rotfl:

However, as DS will attest (not willingly, I admit!:rolleyes: ) when I get him up at 5.00a.m. and I join in with his singing repertoire,(:eek:), Tiffy is one funky feline!:D



! :rotfl:

I think I should go and have a little lie down...
Much Love,
Tiff xxx