Depression Support Thread

antronella

I need to be positive but I found last night very hard and today I'm struggling too. I went to a friend's last night..who hasn't had an easy time of it and we were sort of 'waiting' for midnight..then when it came..so did the tears. i went home soon after.

Today I want to feel optimistic, but I just feel sad. Am missing my husband too..I know he spent last night alone cos the kids told me. Work tomorrow and I'm scared. Need to go back different to how I was when I went off (sick note doesn't reveal true problem) but I'm so scared I'm not as good as i thought. Sorry to sound so miserable xx

Horace

I hate New Year, I don't feel happy today and keep thinking "what is the point?" Thankfully, I don't have much debt but I live on benefits after being made redundant last year (I am preparing an ET case for disability discrimination & unfair dismissal) but I am getting sick and tired of everything. Today, I feel very sad and fed up, my OH is away skiing with his mates (he organised the holiday in June and never said a word...:mad: ) oh I have had text mesages from him saying how ill he has been with the winter poo virus and today I had happy new year great night will be back next year. Why do I feel angry and a tad jealous? Not once has he asked me how I got on at the eye hospital last week - I am now on massive doses of steroid tablets as well as eye drops in an attempt to raise my eye pressure from dangerously low to somewhere near normal. I am just sick of everything - I hate being unwell because my illness has been aggravated by the stress I had at work (bullying boss, etc) because I cannot do the things I liked to do e.g. hill walking (I can't see different levels and that makes walking dangerous), I'd love to have had a proper holiday last year but didn't get one - no wintersports (I don't ski but snowtube instead), a few long weekends in London with OH (where he lives) plus a few camping holidays in Dorset (what joy!). I guess I am just totally fed up - fed up of being a doormat, of being unemployed, of being ill and disabled and today I feel friendless. Sometimes I wish I could just vanish - don't know what I mean by that really do I mean end it all - I don't think I do but I want to live and not just exist which is what is happening right now.

Sorry for rambling and putting a dampner on everyone's New Year celebrations. I just wish...well...I just wish that things would be better and I became more funloving and less depressed, less skint, employed etc. etc.

Thanks for listening - might phone the samaritans or jump in the cut

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Hello all. Happy new year! I'd like to thank everyone on this thread who has supported me over the past year. It really means so much to know that people I've never met before actually care.

THANK YOU

antronella

Horace, sorry you're feeling so low x think the New Year is a very emotional time. Don't know what this year will bring and its scary and last year was for me,,the worst I can remember. I can totally relate to you saying you just want to disappear..that is how i felt not very long ago. I feel like I've been trying to claw myself out of a big hole..and II am scared of falling back in again.

If you really feel desperate, please do call the samaritans, I haven't tried them but I know they can be a support..and someone to listen. Think you need to open up to your OH when he comes home, try and tell him how you're feeling. Try take care of yourself, thinking of you, antronella x

Sazbo

Hello my lovlies :hello:

Kinda need to keep this short, but wishing you all a 2008 filled with everything your hearts desire.

This is the year I need to pick up the fragments of my self-esteem and start trying to put them back together. Don't ask me how, right now I've no idea.

Much love to all of you,

Sazzy xxxxxxxxxx

shazrobo

antronella wrote: »

I need to be positive but I found last night very hard and today I'm struggling too. I went to a friend's last night..who hasn't had an easy time of it and we were sort of 'waiting' for midnight..then when it came..so did the tears. i went home soon after.

Today I want to feel optimistic, but I just feel sad. Am missing my husband too..I know he spent last night alone cos the kids told me. Work tomorrow and I'm scared. Need to go back different to how I was when I went off (sick note doesn't reveal true problem) but I'm so scared I'm not as good as i thought. Sorry to sound so miserable xx

hi antronella, sorry your feeling so sad (((((big hugs))))), feeling much the same way, my ex was by himself yesterday, and rang me last night full of tears, begging me for a fresh start in the new year, how hes going to change etc, and i love him so much, but then i think of how he has talked to me and treated me like dirt at times, then i remember yes i am sad, but not so desperatly unhappy and suicidal, like the times we were together. yes he might change, but i'm not taking that risk, going to be a year of finding my own way and not relying on somebody else for my hapiness.
hope you find hapiness this year, and are bale to put 2007 in the past where it belongs. can you get another sick note, if you dont feel up to going back to work yet?
big hugs
shaz x

shazrobo

horace so sorry to hear that you are feeling so low, please phone the samaritans they are really good when you feel like not carrying on, and they help you put things into prospective. if you cant od dont want to you can also ring nhs direct, and tell them how your feeling and they can contact the mental health crisis team, who are brill, and have got me a lot of help.
big hugs
shaz x

shazrobo

qwb, another lovely poem, going to print that one and put it in the kitchen as a reminder for each day, thanks.
would like to say a massive thanks to everybody on this thread, for supporting me last year, and all the best for 2008.
big hugs
shaz x

Horace

Spoke to the Samaritans who were helpful. Helped me put things into perspective plus I came to a decision this afternoon - I shall book myself a holiday to a snowy place in Feb/March I might let the OH come but then again i might not! Shall use my Amex card as I don't have much debt on it plus I won't go for a package deal preferring the cheaper option of DIY. Feel a tad better but still scared of falling into a deep pit of despair. Instead of wallowing in self pity I shall pick myself up and continue suing my employer for unfair dismissal who knows I might get some much needed cash from them!

I might talk to the OH but its kinda best not to right now because the mood I am in, he'll be taking a long walk off a short plan:rotfl:

I shall also speak to my friends more and more to folks on the forum who give such wonderful advice. Thanks for being there during my darkest hour.

Horace x

geminilady

:hello:

Horace wrote: »

Spoke to the Samaritans who were helpful. Helped me put things into perspective plus I came to a decision this afternoon - I shall book myself a holiday to a snowy place in Feb/March I might let the OH come but then again i might not! Shall use my Amex card as I don't have much debt on it plus I won't go for a package deal preferring the cheaper option of DIY. Feel a tad better but still scared of falling into a deep pit of despair. Instead of wallowing in self pity I shall pick myself up and continue suing my employer for unfair dismissal who knows I might get some much needed cash from them!

I might talk to the OH but its kinda best not to right now because the mood I am in, he'll be taking a long walk off a short plan:rotfl:

I shall also speak to my friends more and more to folks on the forum who give such wonderful advice. Thanks for being there during my darkest hour.

Horace x

Hi Horace:hello: So glad the samaritans were some help i think they do a brilliant job.You do sound more positive now and the holiday is a great idea it gives you something to look forward to.I do think you need to have that talk with your oh when you are feeling less angry with him.He may not realise how neglected you are feeling but at least you know he is thinking of you even though he is away as you said he has been in touch,maybe it just slipped his mind about your hospital apointment.