Depression Support Thread

LouBlue

Miroslav wrote: »

*Interested party

Nice take on it. :rolleyes:;)

Miroslav

LouBlue wrote: »

Nice take on it. :rolleyes:;)

I used to have a t-shirt

"Obsessed is a word used by the lazy to describe the dedicated"

It was in my body building days and meant for when people described me as obsessed with weights, but it can be used for anything.

Anyway, it's a healthy obsession - I only have healthy obsessions - apart from Pukka Pies, as they are very nice, but very bad

Miroslav

*waits for Tulip to log on with some more jokes

Toothsmith

Miroslav wrote: »

I know the practice in question is eager for new patients as they have signs up everywhere telling people to get their friends and family to sign up with them, which looks a bit desperate.

That's quite interesting M.

If they're advertising for NHS patients, it probably means they are struggling to reach their points target to maintain their funding - despite their rather dubious practises of splitting up big treatments into lots of individual items.

This would mean that they would be very sensitive to any PCT investigations, and so a complaint to the PCT may produce a big change there.

geminilady

Miroslav wrote: »

Gotta take people on individual merits though. I was 13 when daughter was born, so I can't say anything and Britney was well ino her 20's when she gave birth. I've seen mothers who are 30/40 who really shouldn't have kids.

13!! I that a typo or were you really only that age?I know you said you were young when you became a parent but not that young.

Miroslav

Toothsmith wrote: »

That's quite interesting M.

If they're advertising for NHS patients, it probably means they are struggling to reach their points target to maintain their funding - despite their rather dubious practises of splitting up big treatments into lots of individual items.

This would mean that they would be very sensitive to any PCT investigations, and so a complaint to the PCT may produce a big change there.

I noticed on the front door an A4 sized colour sign with it then it as up at the desk and in the waiting room, lots of little leaflets with details of all the things they can provide, both NHS and privately and other leaflets asking for people to recommend friends and family to them.

It may well be worth making a complaint to the PCT then.

I don't know if this makes any difference to your previous thoughts, but they had three dental surgeons, now they seem to have acquired a fourth. Would that not suggest they are doing well?

Miroslav

geminilady wrote: »

13!! I that a typo or were you really only that age?I know you said you were young when you became a parent but not that young.

Not a typo. 6 weeks before my 14th.

Not that i'd change anything now of course.

shazrobo

hate weekends, hate christmas, hate myself

dawnylou

Shaz - I also don't feel capable of loving myself at the moment....and so I am sending my love to you tonight

weymuffred

Tiff wrote: »

weymuffred!
How are you this morning hun?
I'd just like to say well done on posting angel and that I'm sorry you're having a really hard time right now. You'll find a whole host of amazing people here who are always willing to help and listen. You're most welcome here hun.

Okay as you may know I lost my dad to cancer earlier this year, but before he died he had been in and out of a hospice and we were constantly being told that "this was the time". So I have been a wreck for the past year and missed 3 medicals for my benefits, two I advised them I couldnt go, the third I didnt.
Because of this I had my income support stopped. At the time I asked them to look at the decision again but they didnt, so I was left being told I would have to appeal.
I didnt becuase i just wasnt up to fighting. At the start of November I was advised to go for a late appeal by a member of staff of dwp, as she said the decision was "heartless", I did and sent the form off, today I have had a reply saying that I cant have a late appeal, not sure of the reason why as I cant understand the writing.
I contacted the office dealing with it but was told I would have to wait until into the new year now before I can find out what the reason was.

I am completely angry,bitter and upset as one of the reasons given for having a late appeal is death. What was going to be a difficult christmas has now been totally wrecked becuase of the letter today.
I hope nobody minds me posting this but I didnt want to upset my wife.

Of course nobody minds you posting wmf! That's what we're her for.
I read your post hun and I thought that there were two different issues that you're wrestling with, in my humble opinion. There's the practical issue of your IS and there's the loss of your father. If we separate them hun, it can make them a whole lot easier to deal with.


Firstly, we have your benefits issue wmf. Right hun, this is a bit of a good news/bad news situation.
The bad news? It seems as though the whole counrtry shuts down for 2 weeks and it can be hard to get hold of people, especially when they don't want to be gotten hold of, when they're full of holiday fever. The DWP is closed on public holidays. Trying to find out what they define their opening hours are over the holidays, is a mission in itself. So an educated guess hun would lead me to believe that they will be open on Monday 24th December, Thursday 27th, Friday 28th, maybe Monday 31st (Bank Holiday?) and then business as usual from Wednesday 2nd January 2008.

Guys, you may want to jump over to the benefits board and see if the holiday hours have been posted there.

The good news? Your benefit problem is a practical issue angel - and there's always an answer to those. It may take time but they can be sorted and there are things you can do meantime.
- Taking all your paperwork with you hun, go down to the benefits office and try to apply for a Crisis Loan. Always worth a try angel. Tell them you need 'x' amount of money for food, heat, light etc. because there's been some confusion over your Income Support. You'll probably be in for a long wait there though, hun. It won't be a fortune by any means, but it can get you through a couple of days and then you can re-apply again, I think.

- You really need the expert assistance of your nearest CAB, who will be able to try and sort your benefit problem out hunnie. This is a link to help anyone to find their nearest CAB, the contact details and it will have their opening times as well:
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/index/getadvice.htm#txt_getadvice_header-Anchor-search

CAB are well versed with everything about DWP and benefits hun. Take all your paperwork with you angel and also a brief letter giving them permission to act on your behalf, just in case they don't have a form. They will contact DWP on your behalf wmf, and try and resolve this benefits issue for free. They'd have been able to help you with the wording on the form - and will.
I think it's absolutely disgraceful that they have treated you this way. With the loss of your father, you'd have been grieving and in an emotional turmoil and it would be quite understandable for you not to have your finger on the pulse of everything at that time. They should have looked at your claim again & I can't understand why they didn't. Did they give you a reason why it had to go to appeal instead, hun?
Have you been seeing your gp, or anyone, who could confirm that you were really struggling? I can quite understand that you weren't able to fight them at that point hun and I don't think it's unreasonable for you to have felt that way. At least the advisor who told you to ask for a late appeal had a heart.Make sure you write down the date, time, the person's name and the details of all phone conversations you have with DWP, hun, so you can refer to it if necessary. I'd call the office again for an explanation as to why they turned you down for a late appeal - they're not on holiday yet!

Don't make yourself feel any worse over this angel - I know it's easier said than done. You've got a plan for the practical benefits problem and you'll have done all you can with that, so if there's nothing much you can do until 2nd January, then it's not worth beating yourself up over hun.

Everything you're feeling is completely natural, wmf. I can understand your grief and pain angel. It was my Dad's funeral, two years ago yesterday (20th December), and as well as facing Christmas Day, also my birthday, just five days later, I was devastated. Don't make any definite plans hun - it can be too much pressure and my best advice is to take the holiday as it comes. You are quite within your rights to go upstairs, shut the bedroom door when everyone's out and have a damn good cry. Don't bottle everything up sweetheart, ok? Here are the opening hours and phone line number for the national bereavement charity CRUSE:

[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Tahoma]Day by Day Helpline[/FONT]
[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Tahoma]0844 477 9400 [/FONT]
Open Monday to Friday 9.30am to 5pm
or email us at: [EMAIL="helpline@cruse.org.uk"]helpline@cruse.org.uk[/EMAIL][EMAIL="helpline@cruse.org.uk"]
[/EMAIL]Christmas opening hours:
24th December - 9.30 to 1
25th Dec - closed
26th Dec - closed
27th Dec - 10 to 1
28th Dec - 10 to 1
31st Dec - closed
1st January - closed

Here is their website addy hun:

http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/


For anyone who is really struggling, not only for the suicidal...

Phone us UK: 08457 90 90 90
ROI: 1850 60 90 90

Email us [EMAIL="jo@samaritans.org"]jo@samaritans.org[/EMAIL]

Write to us Chris, P.O. Box 9090

I know your Dad will be with you and your family angel, and somehow, you'll get through the holidays. If you start to feel really low hunnie, nip off and have a good cry. Make a certain time aside, just to remember him and talk to him.
All the love that he was to you, is still alive.

Also, I know I don't know you sweetheart, but try talking to your wife if you can. She may be sensing something's wrong, or worrying about it herself, and you could help each other through the hard parts. I'm sure she'd want you to open up to her. The whole family will be missing your Dad. This takes away the pressure of you putting on a brave face all the time, angel. Try and enjoy some of the time with your daughter - children can help us keep going when we don't think we can take any more.
You're not alone sweetheart, although I'm sure you feel you are. And don't forget, you can post here whenever you want to, ok?
I hope this has made some sense and been of some help hun. Try and take it all a day at a time.
I'm thinking of you.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

WOW, this has got to be the nicest ever reply I have ever got on here
As I have had some trouble with trying to sort my benefits and having been on the benefit part of MSE and received some really abusive and non supportive posts so it really is a relief to get some support.

Thankyou very much for your words time and help and for so much information and I cant tell you how much I appreciate it.