Depression Support Thread

shazrobo

god, do i feel sick, my ex just knocked on door with a card and presant for my birthday on sunday, didnt know what to say. knew i didnt want to invite him him, so told him my mum was here:o . this is so hard, so confused, scared of being on my own, scared of him hurting me again

ilovegreatdanes

just a quik visit cos gotta catch the docs.....but just liked to say how touched i was that you remembered my anniversary.THANK YOU so much for taking time out to remember me.
miro......didnt marry a dog but sometimes wish i had married charlie dane!!!!xx
ttfn love ilgd xx

geminilady

shazrobo wrote: »

god, do i feel sick, my ex just knocked on door with a card and presant for my birthday on sunday, didnt know what to say. knew i didnt want to invite him him, so told him my mum was here:o . this is so hard, so confused, scared of being on my own, scared of him hurting me again

It must have been a shock for you having him turn up at the door.He is just making it harder for you.If he has driven you to attempt suicide you KNOW he is not good for you.It is natural to be scared of being on your own but you CAN cope and you have your boys and your family so you are not really alone.I do know how you feel my marriage ended after 20 years and i was scared at first thought i could not cope but i did and realise it was the best thing for me, i was not happy in the marriage and it was a relief to be away from the pressure if you know what i mean.

geminilady

ilovegreatdanes wrote: »

just a quik visit cos gotta catch the docs.....but just liked to say how touched i was that you remembered my anniversary.THANK YOU so much for taking time out to remember me.
miro......didnt marry a dog but sometimes wish i had married charlie dane!!!!xx
ttfn love ilgd xx

Hi LGD:santa2: Hope you had a good time on your anniversary nice to see you posting.

BigMummaF

Hi All.....sorry I missed your anniversary ILGD---hope you had a special day that will keep you smiling! Many Congratulations & very best wishes for continued Happiness to you both!

WOW Rose! How very brave of you to get that lot off your chest:o Perhaps it's a sign of your beginning to heal.....fingers crossed eh Posie?

It's sunny at the mo, so I'm hoping to take the p-u-p for a good walk once I've caught up with yooze all. Unfortunately we are not so close to the sea as you Tulip---but then he would get a wee bit cold on the way home cuz he loves chasing the gulls into the sea:rotfl: It looked like he'd been playing scrum half after a romp in the park with another d-o-g on Sunday; not a good look for a white fur coat :laugh:

How do you feel today Miro? I think you should try get it sorted before next week, if only to be able to have a wee dram;)something you shouldn't do if taking painkillers.

So the Tiffster has deserted us for another thread...has anyone checked the smartie cupboard:eek: You sound as if you're finding your paws m'lady...I could picture you with claws out & tail swishing as you confronted those poor cashiers...I'd want reinforced bullet-proof glass twix you & me when you've got your gander up:rotfl: :rotfl:

Made any decision Gillie? How is it others can fall on their backsides & come up smelling of roses, yet good folk like you & Miro----well, most of us on here really!----only get covered in the brown stuff. We'll all come round for a few :coffee:& :grouphug: & christen the almost completed kitchen. Won't that be nice for you!:eek: :eek: :eek:

BIL is currently still in the hospice, but they've made him a lot more comfortable. I managed to persuade his wife to let me give her a lift yesterday--she doesn't drive & of course the place is way out in the sticks----& literally popped in to say Hi. He looked so frail & older than his 53 years, but has retained his warped sense of humour:o He's hopefully coming home today.

Well folks, I'll be looking in on you all every day & stay for a chat when I can. I've only got some packing, e-mails & the fresh foods to sort before next Tuesday, but there's still everything else to do as well isn't there.

Hope you find something to make you smile today & Peaceful Minds folks. BMFx

fantastico_2

Hi to all, im feeling okay today. I been out with the dog this morning in the lovely sunshine. I know its blummin cold, but the sunshine is a good lift for the spirits.. Im watching taste on freeview channel 11.Gino D'campo is on and he is so gourgeours. I love his italian accent, so sexy.

Meyore, hope you get well soon. xx

Hope everyone keeps fighting to stay on top of things, here's hoping the christmas spirits starts to help lift the weight off everones shoulders.
Love H xx

queensway_boy

BigMummaF wrote: »

Hi All.....sorry I missed your anniversary ILGD---hope you had a special day that will keep you smiling! Many Congratulations & very best wishes for continued Happiness to you both!

WOW Rose! How very brave of you to get that lot off your chest:o Perhaps it's a sign of your beginning to heal.....fingers crossed eh Posie?

It's sunny at the mo, so I'm hoping to take the p-u-p for a good walk once I've caught up with yooze all. Unfortunately we are not so close to the sea as you Tulip---but then he would get a wee bit cold on the way home cuz he loves chasing the gulls into the sea:rotfl: It looked like he'd been playing scrum half after a romp in the park with another d-o-g on Sunday; not a good look for a white fur coat :laugh:

How do you feel today Miro? I think you should try get it sorted before next week, if only to be able to have a wee dram;)something you shouldn't do if taking painkillers.

So the Tiffster has deserted us for another thread...has anyone checked the smartie cupboard:eek: You sound as if you're finding your paws m'lady...I could picture you with claws out & tail swishing as you confronted those poor cashiers...I'd want reinforced bullet-proof glass twix you & me when you've got your gander up:rotfl: :rotfl:

Made any decision Gillie? How is it others can fall on their backsides & come up smelling of roses, yet good folk like you & Miro----well, most of us on here really!----only get covered in the brown stuff. We'll all come round for a few :coffee:& :grouphug: & christen the almost completed kitchen. Won't that be nice for you!:eek: :eek: :eek:

BIL is currently still in the hospice, but they've made him a lot more comfortable. I managed to persuade his wife to let me give her a lift yesterday--she doesn't drive & of course the place is way out in the sticks----& literally popped in to say Hi. He looked so frail & older than his 53 years, but has retained his warped sense of humour:o He's hopefully coming home today.

Well folks, I'll be looking in on you all every day & stay for a chat when I can. I've only got some packing, e-mails & the fresh foods to sort before next Tuesday, but there's still everything else to do as well isn't there.

Hope you find something to make you smile today & Peaceful Minds folks. BMFx

........why where when how .............

ilovegreatdanes

hi all,
would like to say that i love qwbs graphics.they always cheer me up, so many thanks.xx
wanted to send hugs to all who need them.seems like lots of friends are facing struggles at the mo, and what an awful time as well.chrimbo just seems to highlite all the worst stuff and make the molehill into everest.xx
think we had best keep a catious...i mean, cautious watch on our tiff!!!someone better rub her paws with butter, cos ive heard it stops our feline friends from straying, then guides them home,or maybe they are offering smartie bribes????
miro.....have you seen the doc about antibiotics as well as painkillers.?i had some and seems to have calmed it , but have whispered that bit incase fate is listening.....
while me memory is at one with me for once.....
can i say thank you to rose and all the other friends on here that have bravely bared their souls to share with us.i cant imagine how hard it has been for you all and im honoured that you felt you could unburden yourselves to your friends on here.hopefully a problem shared will be a problem vanished.
lets hope we all receive peace, good health and happiness for chrimbo...(oh, and a little wealth wouldnt go unthanked from me, so i could fix me teeth, and miros!) instead of the nice?! smellies and vouchers that no doubt will be in santas sack.
take care,
love ilgd xx

gillette147

Hi folkes,
I'm back in the office (portacabin) on my own.
Boss gone off to Swissland for xmas, collegue took rest of day off (she leaves friday so what they gonna do). We just had a lunch on the boss and I'm full as a bag!! I thought I'd come back to the office so if our absence is noticed (EDIT:big boss just appeared so good job I did) then I can say I was here.
Boss has said he will get a written job offer to me but I will see what happens. I have calmed down a bit about it all. His boss has just come back from Dubai and my boss had alot of work stuff to sort. It is all a slap in the face but at the end of the day it's how I take it that matters. A bit of patience and I may end up with a job earning 7K more than the offer in september. And if nothing else it looks good on my CV while I find another job.
Well my xmas presents are all bought/wrapped etc. My kitchen is ready for the last effort-wallpaper 2 walls and repair/paint the window frame. I can do this the weekend because I have sorted xmas. Then wipe a rag round the house and sit back. New start in 2008.

Hugs and mince pies to everyone on here.
Esp. Mumma, Steph and Shazarooni.

Life is a funny thing. I have felt so weird for so long that I can't remember life being simple. You only miss normality when it's gone I guess. I meet up with friends for a coffee on saturdays (a tradition we have) and they talk about normal things and I realise that my life is and has been a mess. I don't have holidays, I hardly see family, I don't have a partner. I sometimes feel that my life has been an experiment-to see what a person turns into if put into isolation. I don't have physical contact. And by that I just mean a hug or to hold someone's hand. I ache for it sometimes. I'm not in a bad place at the moment. I'm just stating facts. I'm not depressed, just very, very sad.

I was with a g/f (fiancee) for 4 years. She was a nutter. She systematically took my family and friends away from me. She was jealous of everything and vindictive with it. I was a nice quiet person who was slowly turned into a nutter too. In an arguement she would go for whatever would hurt me the most. All bets were off. A table I made as a schoolboy, the most expensive thing she could find. The row would end and I'd be left to sweep up. The relationship got more and more f-ed up but when you are in love, and trying with all your might to make it work, you don't see that every little baby step adds up and when you look at where you've ended up you can't quite believe what you have accepted as normal.

I ended it after I caught her out til 2am on a night we weren't together. She said she was at a friends, then later said she'd gone back to a bloke's house but it was the first time and it was just for a friendly face to moan about our problems with. I will never know the truth. She wanted to get back together but it was the last straw. There is another 4 pages of stuff that happened between us that would explain why the camel broke.
My work suffered through those times. My reputation was shot and although I tried to repair it after we split, I was made redundant some months later. My reputation put me 1st on the list.

I then retrained in H&S hoping to have a fresh start meanwhile I struggled with some depression. Not bad depression just sort of why bother depression.

Then I got this job. Well job offer that turned into a 1 month contract, turned into a 4 month contract, turned into a verbal job offer, and is still in a state of flux.

I don't like change. Don't like uncertainty. Don't like making big choices when the correct path is unclear. The last 3 years seems to have been a slow deconstruction of my old life and my new life is still to be. I have periods when I can face the fight and others when I am just numbed with depression at why I have to be the one who doesn't get the normal job/wife/life.

I know things could be so much worse. I know life is how you take it. I think the world is a wonderful place. I used to be the one who saw joy in the little things. But that doesn't help much when the big things aren't in place.

I think I am a depressive who can fight it when thinks are ok. But if you give me a reason to be depressed then I grab the chance with both hands.

Is life real? It seems so strange. Like a rubbish dream. There are times when I feel detached from it, like an outsider. Maybe I am alone because of how I am. People sense that I am not normal and so do not form attachments to me. It feels like I was born to be alone. My family go on without me. I love them and I visit them. But they don't visit me. It's like I care for them 100% and they care for me 10%. I suppose it's because they have lives. My friends either live 100s miles away and have families now or have a barrier up to me because of my ex dragging them into our arguements and they learned to stay out of it (or they felt some sort of betrayal as I dropped them to placate my ex).

I am sick of holding on for a brighter future that seems to get further away all the time. I wish I could be connected to life but I hurt so easily that I hide from social events and don't show anybody the person inside. And faced with the uninteresting me they walk away. I put weight on as a form of self-harm and that pushes me into a hermit lifestyle.

I didn't mean to post like this. I didn't realise I felt so down until I started typing. I can be fun and animated but I guess I am just a dancing bear - standing on a hotplate.

feelinggood_2

Gillette, sorry to hear that things are hard for you at the moment. I really, really hope that you find what you want in life. I wish you could be happy, I really do