Depression Support Thread

meyore

gillette147 wrote: »

WooHoo
Just been offered a big pay rise if I stay on the job I'm on.
Even if I take it while I look around for somethng else I am going to be far better off.
Just got to find a way to do an impossible job.
xxx

Well done on the payrise. Is there nothing that could make the job more bearable for you? It sounds like they must want to keep you.

I hate my job mostly, and the bearable days don't really outweigh the unbearable ones. But I'm not trained for anything else.

antronella

Rose, that was lovely reading about your happy weekend! Thanks for sharing it with us all. Seems there are lots of people who have lost loved ones at this time of year...I lost my dad 7 years ago in dec and I still miss him loads. QWB thanks for the poem x

meyore

rose07 wrote: »

hi meyore

hows u doing?

ya know i was gonna watch that, but was sooo drained at the time, was it good? i might just get it on dvd , build my dvd collection up, i have 30 dvds atm, mainly consisting off kids ones tho, eg: incredibles, ice age, shrek, but then there are the classics like ghost, dirty dancing, the bodyguard, pretty woan, pay it forward and all , love film ,


hope you ok

much love

xxxx

Hi Rose,

Yeah I'm ok just tired as usual. If I could find a way to stop myself feeling so tired I reckon I'd win the battle.

The film was strange and sad but it had a happy ending, so I liked that. I love kids films the best, theysuit my attention span a lot better than "grown up" ones! Harry Potter is my favourite. I've been collecting the Family Guy DVDs recently-they make me laugh.

I hope you're doing ok and lifes going your way

meyore

Miroslav wrote: »

If any of the previous posts make no sense.............ahhhhh, sod it

I'm in pain, very tired, yet I have visitors later, so won't get no sleep til about midday! So if I appear more random than usual...

Life's a treat with Shaun the Sheep

I've had a helluva week. I've been really moody, angry and just plain damn annoyed.

Everything and everyone has annoyed me, even more than before. People phoning, asking me for things, expecting things and they never give anything in return the ungrateful self centered little swines. :mad:

I've been house cleaning and everytime I clean - It just gets dirty again in seconds - if it's not perfect i'm not happy and it's never close to being perfect, so i'm never happy!

I just look at my life and think of the ones i've lost - my partner & my daughter, the people who never cared for me - my family, the people who expect too much of me - family, flatmate and job brokers. People who are trying to get rid of me - counsellors, GP's, dentists etc etc and it all makes me wonder - am I on this earth just to suffer?

I look at my life and all the things that have happened - and there are 4 or 5 things I wouldn't wish on anyone - and I really think that maybe i'm one of the ones that has to suffer to balance things out for the successful.

I know it's not all my fault, but I feel ashamed of who I am - or more of what my life has been, what I look like, what I haven't achieved, how unloveable I am, how my future seems so pointless.

I was taught that when I grew up, it was what was on the inside that counts....so why I am I so helpful, caring, giving, polite etc etc yet I don't get it in return? Why has only 1 person I have met ever cared for me? Why am I so abnormal to everyone else?

I've always been told that alot of people need love, yet why does everyone I meet seem 'sorted'? (and self-centred, shallow and greedy)

I'm always overlooked, never good enough or last year I was 'too good' - I don't fit in anywhere!

Am I expecting too much? (Someone with morals who wants to be cared for and is willing to care back) or am I not giving enough (I have baggage, debts and no job)

Do I view the world wrong? Is the world as bad a place as i've experienced? Will I ever meet someone to care for me again?

Blah!

Always best to write when you're tired, unwell and down right angry!

Have a nice day all

:wave:

Hi Miro

I don't know if you remember me, but you helped me a lot when I was first posting here and I haven't seen you around for ages.

I know it doesn't seem like it at the moment, but things will get better for you. Not everyone is "sorted", although it often seems like it.

I know I come across as a really really sorted person to those who aren't close to me (which is everyone really, except OH) but I'm really about as far from sorted as I could be.

I don't want anyone close to me because they'll exploit my weaknesses, take advantage and kick me when I'm down. I only know one person who isn't that way and I know I'm lucky to have him.

Anyways, my point is that a lot of people are pretty crap, its human nature combined with this lovely "society" we live in. But not everyone is that way and you have to put yourself through a lot of pain to find out if they are. But eventually it is worth it.

You don't have to believe me know, but it is true

Sorry if it sounds like I'm talking absolute crap, I'm tired and I'm unsure if it makes sense or if I'm even making the point I meant to.

Xx

meyore

Just got to get all my bits ready for tomorrow now. Working all day, then works do in the evening, so better get a change of clothes. I won't be able to drink though as I'm driving now-my mum won't help me out and pick me up. Maybe I should stop helping her out, show her works both ways. :mad:

Got to have decided whether I'm taking this new job by tomorrow. I might have to toss a coin at this rate!

Got a Wet Wet Wet best of album, and its bringing back memories of a school trip to London.

Nice and relaxed now, might try for sleep again

Xx

meyore

shazrobo wrote: »

told exbf that i wanted a fresh start for me and kids next year, and asked for my key back and kids toys that were at his house. he came gave me back said items, then as i gave him his clothes etc from here, he gave us a bag full of xmas presents, saying that he loves me so much and always will etc. told me when i had got my head sorted to contact him, and we could still make it work. in one way i am relieved to have key back, and to not see him over xmas on the other hand i'm hurting real bad again, and feeling so confused. how can somebody who says they love me hurt me so much, always implying that everythings my fault, all in my head cos i'm depressed.
am i expecting too much? is it all my fault? i'm so confused and cant stop cryin.
hope everyone else is having a better day
big hugs
shaz x

Hi Shaz

I hope you're feeling a bit better today. Its hard but its not your fault and I don't think you're expecting too much asking for someone genuine to care for you.

Hang in there ok, I think you're doing the right thing even though it hurts so much it may not feel like it

Xx

meyore

I really am going now I promise!

Xx

Miroslav

Tiff wrote: »

Hi guys!:hello:
...Think I scared miro off - his light went out after I'd posted.

Nah, I just was in a bad mood in the morning as was in pain (and I still am but it's a different pain now, a dull ache that is equally annoying!)

Sorry you've had it hard of late, but you know we all appreciate any input from you here however LARGE or small You support us all and deserve support in return. Even though you are Queen Feline, you have needs too and we need to keep you purring

juno

I'm having a bad 5 minutes. Two of my friends are doing my head in. Strangely, they both share the same name. And tomorrow I have to go to work, and I'll actually be working with the person I complained about.

Miroslav

shazrobo wrote: »

miro, is there any possibility of seeing a different dentist, i had an absess earlier this year, which kept coming back, after weeks of antibiotics, in the end i asked for the tooth pulling out, which dentist agreed to and i've had no problems since.
the world id a cruel place, as you know and you are not alone in finding it hard to find someone to love and care about you, as you deserve.
I married the love of my life when i found out i was expecting my twin sons. the marriage broke up when the lads were 3 months old, he was violent towards me, which stupidly i thought he would change, he broke one of sons arms at three months old, so i left there and then, I put my efforts into bringing up my sons alone, it was very tough, especially as they both hve disabilities. stayed single for nine years, then had a two year relationship with a guy who was ok, but he wanted me to himself, and suggested putting sons into care? so broke up with him. in jan i met my current exbf, he was my best friend sometimes, we laughed and joked, but he stopped me having contact with other friends, and became emotionally abusive, so i broke with him too. now i have no one and i'm so lonely and isolated, find it hard to go out and meet people. xmas will just be me and sons.
your posts have made me think, and i'm deffinatly going to try and be a new shaz for 2008, just as you are going to become the new miro for 2008, i wish us both lots of luck.
big hugs
shaz x

I can't get another dentist sadly as only 1 practice in my town that does NHS and i've seen them all. My current one is the friendliest one, possibly as he is the newest, so i'll maybe approach him again as he's a bit more approachable. It's good you have had no problems since, I just don't know what i'm going to do as all the dentists have recommended different things. It's a problem caused by my previous dental practice and bad work on my mouth and i've had various suggestions, from Crown, Bridge, drill through tooth and then refill and 2 teeth replaced by dentures - how can 4 dentists have differing solutions to the same problem?

Good for you for leaving the guy that broke your son's arm - that's terrible what he did!

A bloke suggesting putting your kids into care is also terrible. When you have children, they become the most important thing in your life.

Sounds like you've had bad blokes.........i've had bad ladies (if I can call them that!) with exception to my dearly departed g/f.

Do you mind me asking about your son's disabilities? Do they require constant supervision?

I hope 2008 will be better for us all!