Depression Support Thread

Tiff_2

Hi shaz!:hello:
I hope you and DS have had a lovely day together hun. Thanks for your reply.

Now before I launch into battle mode,, I want to remind you that I'm not a professional of any kind - in fact it's been so long that at nearly 43, I've forgotten what I was a professional at!
Everything that I've gathered in the Tiff archives has been through my own experiences and research, so please always double check any advice anyone gives you. After all, 'tis the t'internet, and misunderstandings can happen.


thankyou tiff, i shall look at those links in just a min.
my son is the sweetest boy ever, and no i'm not a big headed mum, its what everyone who comes into contact with him tells me. He is 12 years old, and because he has a statement, he attends a "special" school, where he can be in smaller class sizes, therefore getting the support he needs. the school are always ringing me, to tell me what a good day he has had, how he always gets top marks, how helpful he is, he loves praise and will do anything to please.
however, its not really a school as such, but a pupil referal unit, where children excluded from mainstream can go, til their exclusion ends, then they go back to mainstream. my son is there full time, as per his statement.
and this is where the probs are coming in, the naughty kids who have been in trouble in mainstream, are coming in, calling josh names at first, teacher's pet etc, and because he has kept quiet in front of these boys they have tried harder to get a reaction from him, saying truly awful things, and physically hurting him, the boys in question are also 12. this has been going on for a while, but was unaware, as son kept it to himself, but now i understand why he has become so moody.
spoke to his taxi driver also, and he confirmed that josh had been asking to sit in car a while, cos he was too scared to go into playground with other lads.
anyway, joshua was trying to ignore the bullies yesterday, but they cut his legs, in woodwork class, and in a hurry to get away from them, he accidently pushed past a teacher.
And now the said teacher is accusing joshua of assault, maybe pushing is assault, not sure of law, but it wasnt deliberate, anyway josh got sent home while they investigate things further.
wow, long post, sorry.
shaz x


Rule 1 - don't say sorry to Tiff for long posts angel - I've got the worst track record for rambling on, on here.
I get the feeling that you both are happy at the school. However, it beggars belief that a boy who needs suppport and extra help is in an environment where he's with aggressive students.
Ok shaz, I think I've got a clear picture.

- the first thing you do angel is to photograph the cuts on DS's legs and any bruises they've given him.

- next, if I were you, I'd take him to see his gp to get the injuries on medical record and to maybe see if they can get DS or yourself some extra help.

- if this has been going on for a while, then please call the local police station - not 999, I hasten to add. The police take a very serious view of bullying now, so please tell them everything. A child is criminally responsible for their actions. I've said before that I hate the term 'bullying' because it sounds so harmless. As the police told me, it's actually anything from assault to actual bodily harm & harrassment.
The police will even visit the other pupils' homes and speak to them and their parents and maybe give an official warning, if needed. It's a good idea, imho, to call the police because you should have an official version of events to support your son, should anything come of the teacher issue. They will also be able to see his scratches and note them on record. So, this action not only makes DS's bullying on record but also gives a kind of protection by having his explanation about the teacher being pushed. It shows there's nothing to hide and no malice intended.

- it is a good idea to take a written account of all that's happened, and when, from your son yourself, before he forgets the details. Does he know of any other students that get bullied by these kids? If so, put their names in your statement.Give him plenty of reassurance and hugs. Do this regardless of who else takes a statement from him. You will then have all the information to speak on his behalf if you should need to do so if he gets anxious.

- I would type up a letter to the head teacher angel - and make a copy for yourself - detailing the previous bullying events and also the incident that happened yesterday. I'll try & post a letter here for you to work from, if you'd like me to - I don't mean to stick my muzzle in where it might not be wanted hun. Tiffy letters, in my experience, have had a high success rate.

- I'd hand deliver the letter and a copy of your son's statement, get a friend or relative to take it in or send it recorded delivery, to the school. I'd certainly question the status of the students who cut his legs - if he's been excluded, they certainly should have been. They actually used a 'weapon' to injure your son!

Imho angel, your son is getting the right support and education at the school and shouldn't have to move on, especially as he has special needs. It sounds as if you're both keen to stay there if possible and I don't think a witch-hunt will do any good at this point. Home schooling imho, is a tough option and it could put a lot of stress on you. If you can keep him at the school, he'll have access to more experiences and resources and socialising with his peers.
I know it'll be hard, but try and stay calm when talking with the school. If you go to see the school, or they visit the house hun, try and arrange for a friend or relative to be there too, for support and also as a witness.

I'm sure you've both been very upset and worried over this but hopefully, common sense will prevail hun. Having these practical steps to do and having as much information as you can, should help to stop you feeling helpless and anxious. Knowledge is a powerful ally angel.
Of course shaz, you don't have to do any of the above - please use your own judgement sweetie. It's always a good idea to get as many different kinds of help as you can, and to take your time to consider and make all decisions calmly. Keep us posted and don't be afraid to shout out if you're struggling hunnie - the guys here are wonderful as you know.
I hope this has helped reassure you a little angel and I'll be thinking of you.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

hayley11

slowlyfading wrote: »

Thanks! My mum has got me a Radley bag for my birthday so that's something VERY nice!! x x

Oooh I love Radley bags, I love anything Radley tbh! My OH got me a pink purse for my birthday last year, he bought me the most gorgeous pink handbag when I got my job earlier this year and I bought myself a brolly (pink obviously!) a while ago. This is maybe why we're so skint :rotfl:Happy birthday for tomorrow hunny xx

slowlyfading

hayley11 wrote: »

Oooh I love Radley bags, I love anything Radley tbh! My OH got me a pink purse for my birthday last year, he bought me the most gorgeous pink handbag when I got my job earlier this year and I bought myself a brolly (pink obviously!) a while ago. This is maybe why we're so skint :rotfl:Happy birthday for tomorrow hunny xx

Thanks! I love Radley bags too mum got me a pink purse for my birthday last year too!

ilovegreatdanes

hi,
now before i forget........cos you know me!!!
sf.......can i wish you a wonderful 21st birthday for tommorrow.im so glad you have made a good friend at college and stuff is looking up for you.
best wishes for a lovely day and many more,xxx
all the best to everyone else.
love ilgd xx

Tiff_2

Hi steph hun!:hello:

P.S. steph ~ I'd send the cheeky beggar a copy of the HAIRSPRAY DVD for Christmas!!!
Revenge is a dish best served cold, they say.

I'm thinking of you sweetheart.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi hayley!:hello:
Thanks for posting hunnie.

quote=hayley11
How is everybody doing today?
There you go asking personal questions again! Sorry hayley, I couldn't resist - it's been one of those years! I hope you're feeling better hun.

Hope you're all wrapped up nice and warm if you have to go outside!!
I'm sleepy today, still finding it so hard to get to sleep, been having awful dreams and I get worried at night, don't know why really. I was up early today though and I've got dressed, made my OH some dinner, put some washing on, tidied the kitchen and now I am sat watching Come Dine With Me. So i've done much better than yesterday.
The fact that you have some insight into how much you're managing each day is really good, hayley. Well done you! You achieved a lot considering your sleep pattern's all over the place. It doesn't matter how much you did hun, as long as you managed to try to do something - no matter how small. When we're struggling, it's the small steps that are the most important.

I haven't been out on my own for about two weeks now, which is so bad, I just can't muster up the motivation to do it.
Are you getting any support or help with this hunnie? A bit of fresh air - or a gale force wind atm! - can help to lift our mood. I'd also consider having a chat with your dr angel and see what they say.

I quit my job on Monday, they sent me a letter to say they wanted me to have a formal disciplinary and you can tell by the tone of the letter they were going to fire me, they listed about 10 things i'd done wrong and called it gross misconduct. So I thought i'd beat them them to it and just quit. I've applied for incapacity benefit so hopefully get that sorted in a couple of weeks.
I'm sorry to hear about work hun. How long have you been ill for hayley? Weren't you on sick leave hayley? Were they aware of your health problem?
Again, I'd mention this to your dr so that a note of it can be in your records, should the benefits agency ask for a statement from the dr. It sounds as though you were extremely stressed. CAB can help to advise you regarding benefits and/or work, should you need it hun.

I better go and make something to eat because I haven't had anything yet and I'm feeling a bit queasy now.
Big hugs to you all, take care
Hayley xx quote=hayley

Even getting something to eat can be a monumental effort when we're ill, but try your best to look after the basics hayley. I've had this same problem for over a week now and it's even harder when you've not got anyone to encourage you.

And this doesn't help...
Sazzy's got the tin opener!



I know you're having a hard time hunnie, but things will look up. One step at a time, angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

ilovegreatdanes

if you need a posse, count me in.......one thing i cant stand are bullies.never mind, dont they say....what you give , you shall receive ten fold!!!my mum always said, there always someone bigger to bully a bully.
take care.ilgd xx

Tiff_2

Hi katie! :hello:
How's our little ray of sunshine doing? You're a real trooper hunnie.
I saw this and thought of you and your karaoke - but not because it looks like you though!!!




Hope this made you smile angel. Take care katie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tulip

Tiff wrote: »

Hi katie! :hello:
How's our little ray of sunshine doing? You're a real trooper hunnie.
I saw this and thought of you and your karaoke - but not because it looks like you though!!!




Hope this made you smile angel. Take care katie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Hi Tiff,

thanks for that,It did make me I am fine thanks just had a chilling evening on here and my mood has been great

Happy 21st birthday for tomorrow SF


*hugs* to everyone that needs one


love and light,

Katie xxx

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

I am off now

chat tomorrow


Night! Night!



love and light,

Katie xxx