Depression Support Thread

ElegantlyWasted

shazrobo wrote: »

feeling really low and very upset.
after weeks of putting up with my bf always putting me down, he thinks my depression is attention seeking, i rang him tonight, and after trying to be reasonable with him he just got nasty, so i told him i wanted to end it. well he has been so awful, i see no point in carrying on right now, and dont know what to do, cut my arms last night, and now i'm keeping the kids up late, so i dont do anything. would never let them see me self harm.
i still love him, loved the cuddles, been held, loved him being nice, but cannot put up with the nastiness.
now he texting nasty stuff, sayin i let my kids down, he could've been a dad to them, told me i will never get anybody else
sorry for long post., feeling so hurt right now, even tho it was me that dumped him
shaz x

Big hugs, Shaz. You poor thing. Don't listen to a thing he says in the texts, he's talking absolute rubbish.

Please try and be good to yourself, keep posting if it helps to talk hun. I'm so sorry he's been so horrid to you, I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it's just because he's hurt and doesn't know how to deal with it.

You have not let your kids down, and you prove that by saying you'd never let them see you self harm. Do you have a friend that could come over and watch a movie with you or something? To keep you company for a while?

Take care of yourself,

Lisa x

rose07

For ethel and anyone else that needs one



xxxxxxx

shazrobo

my friends have got their own kids, and now mine have gone to bed, the pain is worse.
thank goodness the kids have got an inset day tommorrow, so hopefully they wont wake too early.
miss him terribly already
love him so much
shaz x

rose07

ElegantlyWasted wrote: »

Thank you, Rose. The time of year is definitely a major factor at the minute, so I think I need to find some nice things to do when it gets dark, to take my mind off it.

I know that normal is all in the mind, and that no-one is truely happy with how they are. I tend to define it more as being able to leave the house without having a panic attack. I feel I can cope until my anxiety kicks in.

I'm taking it one day at a time, and just doing what I can. I know that trying to make plans for the future just results in me panicking, so I'm trying to keep the focus on today. I count it as an achievement if I can go to bed at night without self harming, or eat a proper meal, and so on.

How are you hun?

Lisa x

Hi Lisa

How you feelin today?
I agree with gl, painting or something crafty to do in the evenings, i tend to edit, keeps me occupied. You could read, make a memory book, a photoframe etc...

I understand about anxiety i had a panic attack this week, horrible when it happens, guess its important to remember the key things, stop, sit down, steady breathing, 3 S's

Your right one day at a time, one thing at a time. Def an achievement if you can go through the day without SHing, and if you manage to get thru your day. I did somethin today that made me feel proud of myself, i sat upstairs on the bus with all the school kids and college kids, i didnt let them get to me, plugged in my ipod and relaxed to enya, and i felt good as i couldnt have done that a few months ago

if ya ever need to talk just pm me

take care lisa

xxxx

hayley11

shazrobo wrote: »

feeling really low and very upset.
after weeks of putting up with my bf always putting me down, he thinks my depression is attention seeking, i rang him tonight, and after trying to be reasonable with him he just got nasty, so i told him i wanted to end it. well he has been so awful, i see no point in carrying on right now, and dont know what to do, cut my arms last night, and now i'm keeping the kids up late, so i dont do anything. would never let them see me self harm.
i still love him, loved the cuddles, been held, loved him being nice, but cannot put up with the nastiness.
now he texting nasty stuff, sayin i let my kids down, he could've been a dad to them, told me i will never get anybody else
sorry for long post., feeling so hurt right now, even tho it was me that dumped him
shaz x

Hi shaz

Big hugs hun. Please don't let anything he says upset you, he's just angry and lashing out at you. If this man makes you unhappy like this, then the best thing is to be away from him. I left my husband after being married for 7 weeks because he made me unhappy, not even sure why I married him to be honest. But I know how hard it is. I cried for a whole weekend because it's so sad when something ends. But it was the best thing I ever did, i'm with somebody who really loves me and respects me.

And ignore anything he says about you not being a good mum because raising kids is the hardest thing ever, and you're doing it while you're ill, so you're a great mum

And don't forget, like Lisa said, you can post on here anytime and i'm sure there'll be somebody who you can chat with.

Big hugs hun, take care.

Hayley x

shazrobo

thanks hayley and lisa,
its good to know somebody understands. just had to turn my phone off, he keeps ringing me, and saying such nasty things, i'm crying so much i;m scared of waking kids up. they are the only reason i carry on but its so hard, just wanna go to sleep and never wake up
shaz x

rose07

shazrobo wrote: »

feeling really low and very upset.
after weeks of putting up with my bf always putting me down, he thinks my depression is attention seeking, i rang him tonight, and after trying to be reasonable with him he just got nasty, so i told him i wanted to end it. well he has been so awful, i see no point in carrying on right now, and dont know what to do, cut my arms last night, and now i'm keeping the kids up late, so i dont do anything. would never let them see me self harm.
i still love him, loved the cuddles, been held, loved him being nice, but cannot put up with the nastiness.
now he texting nasty stuff, sayin i let my kids down, he could've been a dad to them, told me i will never get anybody else
sorry for long post., feeling so hurt right now, even tho it was me that dumped him

Hi hun,
How u feelin tonight?
Its hard when people dont understand the illness, they see it as attention seekin because they dont understand it. But i think we all know here that there is a clear difference between havin a illness and just bein an attention seeker.

Oh hun, (((hugs))) sorry youve SH recently, you must be in soo much pain right now, but would you believe me if i say it will get better? those that have known me for a while here, can prob see how farr i have came in the last year. And i know things seem like there never ending tonight, but you will get there. We are all here for you xxx

Its understandable your feelin hurt its not nice when people have a go at you. I wonder if you could have some time out from each other, proper time out, or have some time together. or do you feel in your heart that thats it now?

xx

shazrobo wrote: »

my friends have got their own kids, and now mine have gone to bed, the pain is worse.
thank goodness the kids have got an inset day tommorrow, so hopefully they wont wake too early.
miss him terribly already
love him so much
shaz x

Where has he gone? im sorry im awfully tierd atm, so if its already down soz if ive missed it, i do read the thread daily, but my memory is carp

Do your kids keep you going?

I think you know you love your man, maybe its just a case of makin it work? you need to think whats best for you and your kids

take care hun xx

ElegantlyWasted

geminilady wrote: »

Hi Lisa,Have you thought of buying a set of paints to use at home? If painting help you unwind then you could get them out when you get the urdge to self harm and see if it helps.

Hi Gemini - I was painting at home, sorry for being unclear! I'm not very good, but I enjoy it. I find that it helps to calm me down when I'm agitated or anxious, but not so much as a deterrent to self harm. I know that there must be something else, but whenever I think of something, my brain just replies 'that's not going to be nearly as effective as self harm, you'll still have to do it anyway'.

Sorry to be so defeatist, it's just that after 8 odd years of self harming as a method of coping with anything, it's hard to try to replace it. I don't just do it in some situations, it's the way I cope with everything that goes wrong.

Thank you for your reply *hugs*

Lisa x

antronella

Shaz, please keep your phone off x just get through tonight, tomorrow is another day. Just get through an hour at a time. I'm thinking of you. I've done the hour thing...trying to get through a day at a time now...so that's improvement xx

rose07

Tiff wrote: »

Hi guys!:hello:
How are we all today? Welcome to (cat) Chewsday!

Now, I didn't want to have to do this, but I can't ignore it any longer.
Thanks to certain peeps here - mutter, mutter - you know who you are! - this thread has taken on a definite c-a-n-i-n-e feel lately! Well I won't have it, I tell you!
There are special dispensations for the kind k9's who post here of course - but that's it.

Tiff xxx

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