Depression Support Thread

Spikey_2

i try to be superman and do everything for everybody .... it's a vicious circle.... already had respotary failure etc etc.....

Spikey_2

night night sweer dreams Lisa and any body else who is awake at this hour x

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
How are you today peeps?
It's funny, isn't it - it was Tuesday this time last week?!:D
Sorry guys - I can't be held responsible for what I come up with before 5.30a.m. I'm pre-caffeine too so that doesn't help.:rolleyes:




To everyone who has people to see and things to sort today and work to work:p , I'm thinking of you all. Good luck to sazzy with her counselling tonight and I hope everyone has a peaceful day. Thinking of you all.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

dawnylou

Spikey wrote: »

HI all,I hope you can help.Anybody heard of medication called CITALOPRAM 10mg Tablet?I am trying to find out the effectiveness, side effects etc etc .Any and all help appreciated.TIASpikey

Hi Spikey - this was the first medication I was prescribed - 20mg.
After just 2 weeks I had to be taken off it because I was suffering unbearable headaches that lasted days on end and leaving me in tears with the pain. Also I was sleeping a lot and yawning constantly to the point that my jaw ached!

However evereyone reacts to meds differently so you may find that they help you x

Though to be honest I am beginning to think that no medication will ever work for me - I don't need meds, I need a bloody miracle!!!
Or a time machine so I can go back and do everything again and do it all right.

Hope everyone else is ok.
I am feeling quite selfish as I suddenly feel all me, me, me - complaining all of the time and whenever I chat oline lately it is about me and how I feel and oh woe is me!
I'm usually quite a nice person, not a saint but usually would do anything for anyone and don't really care about myself at all.
I mean I still don't care about myself but I feel I am being very self centred lately - which makes me angry at myself, then I feel low, then I feel sorry for myself and round and round I go.

I am supposed to be setting myself targets.

I have to go back to work on Sunday so last Friday I decided I would do my housework - one room a day - however I just can't keep anything up.
Instead every day I have cleaned the kitchen as it just gets messed up again, but then I am doing the same room every day!!

What am I supposed to do??

Tiff_2

Hi miro!:hello:
How are you today? Any plans hun?
You asked for it - a titanic Tiff tract!:D

quote=Miroslav
Don't ask! :eek: Very low, to put it mildly...
I know you feel low miro hun.:o
I want to help you - help everyone! - so that you're not in such pain. Sometimes words on a page can work magic and at other times, they leave you feeling helpless.
But if there's something you can take from all this hun, it's that people here think enough of you to reply.:T

What really bothers me about my step father, and I see him maybe 3 times a year, is everytime he says he's seen the person involved, when he has no reason to tell me that. I know he doesn't like me and I know he's doing it to get to me, but then again maybe he's not. After all, he's as dumb as <insert word here>
You can stop this miro. You don't have to dread this cycle anymore.
You're not sure whether stepfather is doing this out of spite or because he's so thick-skinned he doesn't realise how it affects you. And there are people like that angel - you literally have to spell it out for them! It doesn't matter what his intentions are - this is YOUR personal life and you can reclaim it! Maybe this is something you can plan for with your counsellor angel.;)
I want you to find the courage I know you have hun, & next time he says this to you, look him straight in the eye and tell him that although you appreciate his concern for you, but that you would appreciate it if this other person was never mentioned to you ever again. Instead of reacting angel, you're then preventing it - some damage limitation, if you will.
Once he sees that you are serious, I would hope that he'll think twice. A side benefit of this imho, is that it will hopefully show you that you can be in control and not have to live by other people's actions hun. You have the right to lay down some boundaries miro.;)

I'll probably never get over it, thus never have another relationship again. Why would anyone want someone that can't get close?
I've tried for many years to live with it. The first few I had a partner who was the best thing ever to happen to me, then when she died, well I died too basically.
Getting over it, is not what it's about sweetie.
It's about grieving for what happened and finding a special place in your heart for those you loved and lost. It doesn't have to take up all of your heart angel. There'd still be plenty of room for more love. It's not being unfaithful or forgetting about them hunnie. They'd want you to live your life as best as you can miro.

Imho, & smack my muzzle if it's in the way, but maybe the question shouldn't be why would someone want you when you can't get close to them. Maybe it's how can you overcome your fear and learn to let people in? I do get a sense of fear from you sometimes angel - and that's quite natural.;) By saying people won't want you hun, you're giving yourself reasons for not trying. But that's your ill health that's talking sweetie, trying to protect you but actually being over-protective.
By saying people won't want you hun, you're giving yourself reasons for not trying. But that's your ill health that's talking sweetie, trying to protect you but actually being over-protective.
The proof that you are still very much alive angel, is the fact that you're still hurting!
I am so sorry for your loss miro - please don't think that I am dismissing this awful event. I know all too well about pain and loss in similar ways hun & can respect how you feel. I'm no professional angel & these are just Tiffy thoughts.

They told me they had no male health clinic, so I have no idea why they would lie to me. Wouldn't be the first time though.
Well hun, that has surprised me. It would be interesting to see where the nearest one is.

I don't trust any GP. The last time, he said he'd arrange an appointment for me and that there were only male surgeons, therefore i'd have to make do
You don't have to make do hun. Explain to the next dr you speak to, that this has deeply affected you and it's a seriously sensitive issue for you. For any surgery, you are now given a choice of hospitals to be treated at! I know it's hard angel but surely it'll be better to get your problem sorted than to worry about the drs gender - after all, you'll be asleep then anyway. You're lucky to see a surgeon just a few times, it would mostly be his juniors checking on your progress. Is there another gp there that you could talk to hun - one you like better?

Physical health is probably first, it's just too difficult at the moment. In all honesty, if I curled up and died, it would be one less thing for the world to deal with. After all, that's what everyone makes me feel, i'm just a thing in the way.

You think?

I know you're very low angel but you are so wrong! How do you think we'd feel on here? Do you think it wouldn't affect us? What about your flatmate? Your family? People you know? The person who would find you?
If people are making you feel this way, then change it hun! Again easier said than done I know, but it's something you can work towards.
Find the strength to deal with the physical issues angel and that will be a huge weight of your mind.

I honestly can't see a day when the sunshine will be bright and I will be happy, it just doesn't happen to some people and i'm one of them sadly.
There are always answers sweetheart - they're just waiting to be found. It can happen for you hun, when you're ready. I'm sure you do smile and laugh - you give plenty of evidence of havng a great sense of humour just on here alone!

I think I live in a backward place as they insist that there are no dentists there. My local dental centre will only tell me of local dentists too.
Ok angel. Why not give NHSDirect a call? They can tell you where your nearest NHS dentist is. I think your gp would know this too possibly. If the pain gets too much as I said hun, go to A&E; your local hospital can treat you and/or refer you.

Because I may not pass the PCA, then I will be forced to grab the 1st job that comes along
If they even try that hun - make an appeal, then straight to CAB. Do you have a Mental Health Advocate miro?

I feel ugly and horrible, especially when no-one likes me. Everyone tells me i'm polite etc etc, yet women like the opposite it seems. I always meet women who think about material and shallowness. I've honestly met very few women who think of anything more than money, sex, cars, money, sex, money and erm......money. A young lady with a good conversation who wants to take things slow and has morals would be nice. I guess i'm old fashioned. Don't get me wrong, sex is fun (or can be, only my ex who cheated on me made it boring boring boring with her ) but not with a girl who's had half of England within the last month. You remember 'S'? She didn't want sex straight away, but she didn't want much to be honest.......oh wait......money, I remember now :rolleyes:
I alone, won't be able to change your mind miro. You can't see it any other way due to your experiences & I understand that angel.
So instead, I'm going to agree with you from the 2nd sentence on!

You're right miro - I hate it when a man is polite to me! I don't want to meet someone who is interested in my personality and I don't want to bored by conversation.:rolleyes: Where he works, what he drives & how much he earns are much more important. Then I can use my womanly wiles to lull him into a false sense of security in the bedroom. An added bonus if I'm lucky enough to find a man experienced in that area. I know I've slept with half of England - & Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland too! - but a girl's got bills to pay and a lifestyle to maintain.

Horrible paragraph hun and so not me!
But my point is miro, swap the sexes around angel and you will find that just as many women feel that men think like this! If we accept that there are bad people out there like this, then it seems logical to assume that there are good people out there too. And we have no solid evidence that there's more bad than good hun.

JT :eek: Britney reject
Don't you mean 'Britney reject-ed'?! lol:D

It must be my town or my perception of life. I rarely meet half decent people who don't have motives, which is why I hate the world and the people in it. I think i'm just not right for this world. I've had my chance and it hasn't worked out
When things have been so very hard for us, it's understandable to feel like this. You've not ''had your chance'' miro - they're an ongoing thing. Every day is full of the unknown. We probably can't change the world hun, but we can work on ourselves. And that doesn't mean turning out badly.




Well, apart from 2 years of my life (31 years) there has been no-one. I've become used to it. Had I not had those 2 years, i'd be alright I think, albeit a very cold person. The counselling etc has been lacking and I really don't know how to interact with people.
I would feel sorry for anyone who's not had the chance to love or be happy. Maybe if we applied the moral of 'A Christmas Carol' by Charles Dickens to modern love, we may find joy at the thought that there's another chance, another someone, to come.
If the counselling is lacking hun, you need to go back to your dr and tell them this! You're not going to feel better if you're on the wrong treatment. Please try and love yourself enough to change this angel.

There are many free courses at colleges everywhere miro, that teach short self-confidence and self-assertiveness courses. You'd be learning with people who also find this hard. It really improves your communications with others and gives you a value of selfworth. And they're free usually. Also, you can work on this with a psychologist. Mention it to your dr, miro. This may be half your battle won hun.;)


Why wouldn't people want me? Because of my physical problems, mental problems, lack of money & status and I don't know how to interact with people.
If you feel that this is how it is for you miro hun, then ol' Tiffy doesn't stand a chance!
..... ..... ..... ..... ..... TAXI!:o

I don't include the people on this thread as i've never met them, but the ladies I meet are horrible. My standards are quite high after my successful relationship, but surely I don't ask for too much. Surely there are decent ladies somewhere who just want companionship, at least at first?
Yes hun, there are.;) But we also all have different body chemistry and some people may be ready for an intimate relationship before others are. It doesn't mean that they're wrong - there's a bit of biology involved too.
It is good to have standards sweetie - just don't set them so high that no-one can ever reach them.;) We must try and avoid comparing relationships hunnie, as hard as that may be, because each one is a unique combination.

I'm 31, Yesterday it feels I was 18 - life has flown by and time is running out. My efforts in life are never appreciated. Some of us are just born to make others look good.
/quote
Then miro hun, quite simply, turn back to yesterday and have your fresh start again.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

geminilady

:rotfl: :rotfl: :hello:

dawnylou wrote: »

Hi Spikey - this was the first medication I was prescribed - 20mg.
After just 2 weeks I had to be taken off it because I was suffering unbearable headaches that lasted days on end and leaving me in tears with the pain. Also I was sleeping a lot and yawning constantly to the point that my jaw ached!

However evereyone reacts to meds differently so you may find that they help you x

Though to be honest I am beginning to think that no medication will ever work for me - I don't need meds, I need a bloody miracle!!!
Or a time machine so I can go back and do everything again and do it all right.

Hope everyone else is ok.
I am feeling quite selfish as I suddenly feel all me, me, me - complaining all of the time and whenever I chat oline lately it is about me and how I feel and oh woe is me!
I'm usually quite a nice person, not a saint but usually would do anything for anyone and don't really care about myself at all.
I mean I still don't care about myself but I feel I am being very self centred lately - which makes me angry at myself, then I feel low, then I feel sorry for myself and round and round I go.

I am supposed to be setting myself targets.

I have to go back to work on Sunday so last Friday I decided I would do my housework - one room a day - however I just can't keep anything up.
Instead every day I have cleaned the kitchen as it just gets messed up again, but then I am doing the same room every day!!

What am I supposed to do??

Hi i Dawney.Oh for a time machine,wouldn't that be great,i think we all feel we would do things differantly if we could go back,maybe we would but i think we would still make mistakes just differant ones from the ones we have already made.As to the housework,don't beat yourself up about it,the kitchen is clean which is important for hygene reasons but the rest of the house can wait .

Tiff_2

Hi dawny!:hello:
I hope you'll forgive me putting in my two cents worth hun.

quote=dawnylou;Hi Spikey - ...
Though to be honest I am beginning to think that no medication will ever work for me - I don't need meds, I need a bloody miracle!!!
Or a time machine so I can go back and do everything again and do it all right.
An impossible dream angel, as you'll know.
BUT...that doesn't stop us from living our lives from now on, as we would have if we could have turned back time.

Hope everyone else is ok.
I am feeling quite selfish as I suddenly feel all me, me, me - complaining all of the time and whenever I chat oline lately it is about me and how I feel and oh woe is me!
I'm usually quite a nice person, not a saint but usually would do anything for anyone and don't really care about myself at all.
I mean I still don't care about myself but I feel I am being very self centred lately - which makes me angry at myself, then I feel low, then I feel sorry for myself and round and round I go.
It's not selfish at all angel! Maybe thinking more about yourself is going to be a positive thing angel.
The anger may come from opening your eyes and seeing, unblinkered, just how taken for granted you are by some. It can be a huge reality check when we change our thinking. And fyi hun, you're still a nice person! Can you talk to a counsellor about this angel?

I am supposed to be setting myself targets.
I have to go back to work on Sunday so last Friday I decided I would do my housework - one room a day - however I just can't keep anything up. Instead every day I have cleaned the kitchen as it just gets messed up again, but then I am doing the same room every day!!

What am I supposed to do?? /quote
Whatever you can manage sweetie! It's not Home and Gardens - there's no prize for best cleaned house here hun. And I'm sure most of us have felt like this dawny. The trick is, imho, to start with the rooms where you spend the most time - maybe the lounge? This gives you somewhere clean and calm to relax in and feel good about. Kitchens are harder for most people dawny - so don't worry too much about it. Just get the washing up done hun- nothing worse than getting up to a stack of dirty dishes! *Tiffy closes kitchen door* Being able to do one room or just surface cleaning is an achievement angel. One step at a time dawny.
Take care hun and hang in there. Thinking of you.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

kellie21

Tiff wrote: »

kellie!
Thanks for posting angel - I know the first step onto here is a shakey one.:T You'll find a warm welcome and great advice from the lovely guys here hun.:A

quote=kellie21
hi all im new to this well im here hoping for a little bit of support.as im sevely deppressed.
Support is always available here angel. I'm sorry that you've encountered depression kellie, but hopefully this thread will convince you that you can manage it. Are you getting any input from the mental health services? Are you regularly monitored by anyone hun? Are you receiving any kind of counselling or psychology kellie? Have you told your dr about all the abuse you've had hun? You must be completely honest with them if you're to get the right kind of help for you.;)

The reason I ask, is that depression can be quite a chameleon, and we should remember that sometimes ads need to be changed if things are not going well. It's always a good idea to talk to your gp hun, if you feel you're just treading water. They are a gateway to a lot of resources.
I think that you should visit your dr, angel. I hear in your post, that you feel like you're really struggling and in a lot of emotional pain. You might benefit from some extra support - they can't help you if they don't know hunnie.

i am on anti deppressents, wel a bit about me i am 21, pretty, got my own home, and bf, and pets normal people would think that is nomal but no1 sees the real me,
Again hun, you've found a place here where people are experts at hiding behind a smile.:o Many of us use it as a coping strategy. It can really help sometimes but if you've been using that smile for a long time angel, it gets harder to turn it on.
How you're feeling hunnie, has nothing to do with your age, (I'm twice yours!;) ), or what you have gained. Depression and other types of mental ill health have no respect for that. Yet inspite of all that's happened to you angel, you have survived and gone on to achieve.:T


Have you told your bf about your depression hun? If not, may I ask why?
I don't know how long you've been together or how close you are, but I can tell you that having even just one person to turn to, someone you can be completely honest with, can be a real God-send. He may have noticed that something's worrying you. Only you know if your relationship is close enough for this angel.;)

i have been abused beyond belive, i ave been torn apart. i feel as if there is no point in the world, as nothing good ever comes.
is anyone else in same situationlet me know as im at my wit ends x x
take care people \quote
You touched a bit of a nerve with me here hun.;) I, for one, think I can put my hand up in answer to your question kellie - I understand how you feel. You'd be surprised at just how many people can.:o

Ok hun, I can tell you that good things do come. Everything has a balance, imho. Nothing can remain bad all the time - life is a mix of good and bad.

I've been abused also angel. The best advice I can give you sweetheart, is to please talk to your dr - or anyone you can trust - about it. Let them know just how you feel.

Don't wait until many years have passed, burying it, thinking you can cope - that was the biggest mistake I made! Hindsight is a wonderful thing.:o And whatever form the abuse took, it is never to late to do something about it.;)

What it comes down to sweetie, is that there are always options. You may be hurting so much you can't see them, but they are there. That's where a objective professional can really help. You're far from being the only one to have gone through this hun and there is help for you.;)


Nothing is going to be resolved immediately, but you have a chance to start to change everything now hun. I hope this has reassured you angel, and maybe helped a little. I know there are so many here that are able to identify with you hun and we are all here to support each other. Please keep us posted kellie, ok? Thinking of you hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

thankyou hun, i have been to my doctor, but everytime i go they just higher my dosgae on tablets and i hate that. i havnt told them about the abuse i would just reather hide it inside.

i just feel as if it doesnt get better, and the tablets just make me fake.
just dont know wat to do as there is noone who understands even my bf doesnt understand so he aint supportive i just have me :c

geminilady

kellie21 wrote: »

thankyou hun, i have been to my doctor, but everytime i go they just higher my dosgae on tablets and i hate that. i havnt told them about the abuse i would just reather hide it inside.

i just feel as if it doesnt get better, and the tablets just make me fake.
just dont know wat to do as there is noone who understands even my bf doesnt understand so he aint supportive i just have me :c

Hi Kellie,Sorry your bf is not supportive it is hard for some people who have never had depression or been through abuse to understand how you feel but you will find lots of people on here who do understand some who have been through a similar thing.I know some people hide it inside as you say you do, but personaly i do not think it is good to bottle things up which may be why you are feeling so bad.Have you thought of asking your gp to refer you for councelling?it may be easier to confide in a stranger and they are trained in getting people to open up about their problems.Anything you do tell them is completly confidential.

geminilady

rose07 wrote: »

geminilady wrote: »

Hi hun

Sounds like this person really hurt you hun, and it which case you have to ask yourself is he worth it? I understand that it must hurt when someone goes cold on you, they go from texting you all the time to not at all, and you start asking yourself what went wrong and wondering if there is something wrong with you. But hun you are a strong, kind, caring person, with alot to give, and if he is being a pain, he isnt worth it hun, because you deserve alot more.
Sometimes people can get the wrong end of the stick, see things the wrong way. I know people think im funny sometimes when im trying to be serious, ahh well. Doesnt sound like he is being much of a friend. Have you got someone to talk to a friend? or was he that friend?
You know you can always talk here hun (((((hugs))))

Awww thanks for your kind words hun.
Just wish sometimes other people would see that im strong :rolleyes:

Last night i got a phone call from the ex friend i was telling you about, it all turned out to be my fault and me the one apologising, when she was the one that went and ....well did something awful. Gets me soo confused as to who my mates are. My sister says im too forgiving, but i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing.

hope you have a good day

xxx

Hi Rosie,Hope you are having a good day,i have been reading my previous posts and thinking how pathetic i sound.Anyone reading must think i am a sad person getting upset over something so trivial but there is a lot more to it than it looks .This has been a four year friendship and i have always been there for him when he needed it,even answered texts in the middle of the night(i am a light sleeper)stems from when the kids were babies i think.As to your question,no i do not have a friend that would understand,i have one close friend from schooldays but as i think i mentioned before she does not understand depression at all,also she does not have a computer and rarely texts so she does not understand the kinds of relationships people can build up through them.I just feel let down really which is a feeling i am used to but does not make it any easier.I will not text him again,i do have self respect if not self esteem and if i do hear from him i will let him know how i feel.
As you say i have the people on here to talk to.I am really glad i found this forum.I post very little about myself but can see pieces of me in lots of the posters.I have various problems .I can be a bindge eater/gambler/depressive but through self therapy i am coping so i must be strong in some ways.It would just be nice to find someone who i could trust and who would not let me down.