Depression Support Thread

feelinggood_2

Dawnylou - thinking of you tonight. Don't worry about work. If you can't go back to work, you can't go back to work - end of. Your doctor will understand, just make sure you tell her how you are feeling. Wish I could say something more, but like you can't find the words to express just how bad you feel, there aren't any words I can say to help. Let us know how you are tomorrow. Hope you get some sleep. I'm struggling with sleep at the moment, taking far too much diazepam and sleeping pills.

feelinggood_2

dawnylou wrote: »

But the big question is - would I hurt them more if I was to end it all now?
Or would I hurt them more if I was to remain?

Thats a question I ask myself a lot. I've always said that I'll only consider it when my pain of exsisting is greater than the pain others would feel if I died.

Try to remember that your thinking is a little off at the moment, and people love and care for you far more than you can ever realise when you are depressed.

I've decided that before I go down that final road, I'm going to have one last shot at life. If I get to that point again, I'm going to pack my bags, get on a boat, and go somewhere far, far away where no one knows me and where no one can find me. I think the far reaches of Canada or Alaska would suit me. Sometimes I find that knowing that I have this 'plan' helps me to cope. A little fantasy that I know I could make a reality if it comes to the point where I cannot fight anymore.

rose07

dawnylou wrote: »

FG - I cannot even think of any words to explain how I feel anymore.
I am sick and tired of thinking of how to word it others when they ask how I am.

In fact to be honest QWB beautiful poem is the best way to put how I feel into words right now. It explains exactly how I feel.

My next docs appointment is next Friday. I am going to check they got my notice to place me on the waiting list to see a psychologist in case it was lost in the post and I have lost my place in the waiting list! Worried me a lot.

I will be back at work after that. Fills me with dread. Most days I can't even hold a conversation with my own mother, let alone sit at work for 8 hours talking to complete strangers about money!!!

Tulip - I know he loves and supports me, but that makes me feel worse in many ways as I feel I don't deserve this unconditional love. I feel I don't deserve anything.
I probably could end it so easily if it wasn't for himself and my parents. They hold me back somewhat as I don't want to hurt them more.

But the big question is - would I hurt them more if I was to end it all now?
Or would I hurt them more if I was to remain?

hi hun

i know your not feelin so good atm and in alot of pain, and i understand , i really do

you cant find the words and even if you could you dont know where to start or how to put it, you feel trapped and lost.

could you ease yourself back into work slowly? or do you have to get straight on in?

If we spent our whole lives worrying about what people thought, or upsetting them, where would we be? i think the answer is we would be here, as each one of you has a heart, and with that heart it makes us care about the ones we love, not wanting to upset them, treading carefully..just incase, but sometimes the just incase becomes a problem and we can no longer find our way.

the question is what do you want. I dont think i need to tell you that if anything did happen to you, everyone who you love, and that loves you would be affected, even the people you dont think care but do, and even the people you havent spoke to in years, or the people you dont speak to at all now, everyone cares, even if they dont show it, they still care.

Im gonna tell ya a scret...i OD, and i affected soo many people, it rebounded of everyone, it went from one person to another to another, and no one could handle it, no one could handle me,
you have to look in your heart deep down you know people love you but the illness shields all this it makes you feel worthless, like you are nothing and mean nothing, trust me i know hun, you have to fight this because if you dont it will eat you up. you are worth something and you do mean alot, to soo many people. How many people know how you really feel? sometimes people dont know how to be, sometimes they have a funny way of showing they care, but i can asure you, everyone cares, and they care about you, so please hun, think before you act, its not pleasant to be feeling the way you are, but get the help before it gets too much, ring your closest crisis team, ring a friend, talk to your hubby, talk to your pet, vent on here, whatever you need to make sure you are ok do it, do it now!!

ok nuff of me going on

gonna see if i can get some rest as starting to fade a little

take care everyone and sweet dreams

xxxx

geminilady

rose07 wrote: »

Hi everyone

soz not been around lately

have been fighting for my life . . . . . (will explain all soon)

im struggling atm, and right now im sitting here... i feel very alone...

ever feel like ya just broken?

much love to you all

and a big thanks to all those that keep me in their thoughts atm, means alot

i hope you are all ok

i will try and catch up a little over the next few days, but im not as fast as i used to be, fraid old rosie not too well atm.

take care everyone and much love

xxx

Hi Rosie:hello: Its great to see you posting was wondering how you were doing,sorry to hear you are not too well though.Good look with catching up!there are lots of new posters i think this time of the year is the worst for mental health problems and we did not get much of a summer this year which does not help

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:

:j :j :j

Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
How are we all this a.m.?
I hope everyone's ok and has a peaceful weekend lined up. I'm going to try to post what I can, when I can, so I'll start with a few Tiffbits.

ethel - how are you angel? I spotted your little green light was on. I'm so pleased for DS hun.I hope you can get some rest now angel. I'm sure you must feel exhausted.
You are an example of a big heart and so much courage to us here ethel. So please angel - don't ever doubt yourself! I'm privileged to have you in my life. Be kind to yourself hunnie.

gilly - how's you hun? Could you be any busier?! Just you be careful that you don't get all those chores mixed up!:eek: Good luck with the job interview gilly :T , and I hope you have a great weekend in Brum. At least you're a bit nearer Tiff country.;) As for the footie & rugby, I can't help you with that yet angel - I'm still working on a cure for our sazzy!:D Safe journeys hunnie.

rosie - it's good to hear from you hun!;) I'm sorry that you've had such a bad time and hope you're on the road to recovery angel. I thought something like that had happened , & it's a relief to know you're still here hun. :T A day at a time ok rosie? Take care hun.

bmf - good to hear from you hun. How are you?
You seem to have laid out preparation plans for Christmas that the SAS would be proud of! Well done you.
Sorry to hear about the pooter being poorly hun.
Can't one of the nestlings have a look at it for you?
We know you care and are thinking about us bmf - and don't you think for one minute that we've forgotten about you! Look after yourself hunnie.

Keep fighting guys - I don't want anything happening to my Tifflings!:o
Keeping you all in my thoughts and wishing you well.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

EthelBloggs

Morning Tiffster

you busted me huh?

thank you for saying such a lovely thing but we'll have to agree to disagree, lol

I spoke to DS last night briefly cos he was far too busy having fun to waste time talking to his worried sick mum :rolleyes: Seems he's settled in very well and said while it's not great to be there he's making the best of it and finding the positives. I asked him when he wants me to come and see him and he said could I leave it til during the week as he will be busy with a basketball tournament over the weekend!! I was astounded and amazed but very relieved.. he sounds so much better already.

Daughter is home for the weekend and a bit annoyed that she's not allowed to visit him as she is a patient elsewhere but we talked during the week and she was blaming herself for what DS had done and said she knows now how awful I must feel when she does such things.. I'm really hopeful that it means she's turned a corner and will think twice before she harms herself again.

Other than that, nothing new yet, just going to spend most of the day catching up on uni work and probably lurking around here somewhere

Have a good one everyone xxx

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Morning! hope all is well,I am fine today,I am off out to see friends later on as I couldnt go over last Saturday as I had a migraine.Glad your son is ok Ethel especially him doing a basketball tournament this weekend and I am so pleased to hear he sounds so much better in himself Glad also that your daughter is home with you this weekend

Dawnylou: hope you are feeling ok,have a great weekend

Have a lovely day everyone

*hugs* to those that need one


love and light,

Katie xxx

consnmattsmom

:hello: everyone

Hope that everyone is ok today.

Rose I am sorry that you have not been well and wish you all the best in your recovery.

Ethel I am so glad that your son seems on the road to recovery. Its good news. Hope that you are feeling a bit better.

Dawnylou How are you today? Hope that you are finding strength to keep going at the moment, its seems very hard for you but it wont be long until your appt. If you find it hard to talk to your doctor then write everything down. It worked for me and my doc was really good she took time to read it.

I had a sickness bug yesterday, was in bed all day. One good thing has come out of it I have lost 7lb that I had put on. :T

I have loads of washing and ironing to catch up on as we are going away on our sun holiday on Monday so may not be around much over the weekend but will try and catch up when I can.

Big hugs to all. TTFN xxxx :wave: :wave:

BigMummaF

:j QWB...wondered where you'd been...what took you so long? Everything ticking over nicely? Wonderful poem btw & explains why I could never do 'the deed' by walking into the sea---probably explains why I can't swim either:o I'd really love to learn, but if I didn't resemble an inflated 25 person life raft whilst I'm suitably attired for the water, it would be a start:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

:j Rosie....good to see you back posting.....have you been collecting photos for your next film? I love the changes of the seasons; all the different colours & shapes of the trees, & Mother Nature just proves that there is always something beautiful to see every day, if you look hard enough:o
I think that is more a message for those of us who only see the darkness at times---we need to remember there is a chink of light to lead us forward, we just need to look for it.

Gilly...I'm with you.....is the kitchen ready for the 'house warming' then? I'll be in front of the box with me diet tropical fruit at 8 tonight

---

maybe not----they lose when I actually watch the games:o

---

well, in spirit then:D Heard anything about that dodgy penalty call in the footie? Oh yeah, how did your interview go:rotfl: :rotfl:

ILGD...p-u-p has had another trip to the doggie doc this week, & has been on a course of anti-inflammatories. Hopefully it's just a tweak in a shoulder muscle & not something nasty with a long name, but he doesn't appear to be limping now. Don't know about him following the sun; I'm moving me chair round the garden every 20mins meself!:D

Did you manage to get a lift home from your meeting FG? I have an unfortunate phobia that causes me to need the loo if I have to walk very far; even if I know there are loos on the way, I'm convinced that I won't get to them on time. The same applies to waiting for a bus, train, visiting folk, waiting rooms, etc etc etc. I get it from me muvva, & a couple of the offspring have inherited from me:o I think the docs call it 'IBS' now....

To everyone else, hope today brings a smile to your face, & Peaceful Minds folks. BMFx