Depression Support Thread

queensway_boy

Darkness by Emily

I'm swimming all alone in a pool of darkness
and I feel like darkness is slowly pulling me under
I yell for help but no one is there to hear it
I begin to see the water at eye level
and I kick and flail
fighting to stay above the darkness
But the darkness won't let go of its hold on me
and I slowly begin to give in
to the feeling that lies below the water line
the waters starts to fill my lungs
the lungs that once held so much life
yet now they allow the murky water to replace that
I know that this path doesn't lead to happiness
But why doesn't someone grab my hand
pull me from darkness's grasp?
because no one knows I stand at the boundary
the boundary between light and dark
so I give in to the thing that holds me
All of the strength and all of the courage
that I once held in my heart
can't save me from the water
So I slowly slip below the world of conscientiousness
undetected by the occupants of that world
I don't want to fight anymore
I've given into darkness

Tulip

dawnylou wrote: »

Sometimes I just don't see the point in being here anymore.

Life wasn't meant to be a constant struggle I'm sure.

I have no motivation or control over any area of my life.

Sometimes I lie in the bath and I wonder where it all went so wrong.

And at other times I imagine what it would feel like to finally just end it all.

My pain and all of the hurt, heartbreak and suffering that I have aused others.

I can almost feel the relief that would follow - watching the pretty red seeping out and swirling around me in the water, knowing that tomorrow I wouldn't wake up and have to drag myself through another day pretending to be normal.

And yet I can't do it.

Hiya Dawny,

This morning I just couldnt get out of bed.Alarm rang 8am and I turned it off,a minute later phone rang it was my parents,I just lay there and didnt go to the phone,they rang another 2 times to get me,eventually I got out of bed when I was ready and rang back my parents,Dad said I will see you outside at 9.25am as he was going to give me a lift to my pottery class,I went back thats impossible as I am not going,I was in tears as well,I felt like ending everything just to prevent me going to the course but I didnt,I ended that call and went back to sleep,phone rang again,it was Mum,I talked to her about the course and eventually I decided to go after all.Life is worth living that what counts and you must remember that,you have a wonderful fiance who loves and supports you ,I am so glad I went to pottery as I was laughing and joking with my friends its just the waking up first thing in the morning that I find hardest but once I get going I am fine

thanks ILGD about Jericho on ITV4,I will try and see that next time its on

hope everyone else is fine and dandy QWB thanks for the lovely graphics you certainly know how to cheer us up with a huge hug like that

SF: Hope you are alright and hope you have a great weekend

Sazzy: Hope you are ok too

Tiffy: Hope you are ok and have a nice weekend wait a minute isnt it cataday tomorrow


Ethel: Have a nice relaxing weekend wont you and take it easy and do something lovely and pamper yourself

love and light,

Katie xxx

Tulip

queensway_boy wrote: »

Darkness by Emily

I'm swimming all alone in a pool of darkness
and I feel like darkness is slowly pulling me under
I yell for help but no one is there to hear it
I begin to see the water at eye level
and I kick and flail
fighting to stay above the darkness
But the darkness won't let go of its hold on me
and I slowly begin to give in
to the feeling that lies below the water line
the waters starts to fill my lungs
the lungs that once held so much life
yet now they allow the murky water to replace that
I know that this path doesn't lead to happiness
But why doesn't someone grab my hand
pull me from darkness's grasp?
because no one knows I stand at the boundary
the boundary between light and dark
so I give in to the thing that holds me
All of the strength and all of the courage
that I once held in my heart
can't save me from the water
So I slowly slip below the world of conscientiousness
undetected by the occupants of that world
I don't want to fight anymore
I've given into darkness

beautiful poem QWB thank you

Katie

feelinggood_2

dawnylou wrote: »

Life wasn't meant to be a constant struggle I'm sure.

(((Dawnylou)))

Sorry you are feeling that way. I can understand exactly what you mean - the same thoughts have been going round in my head over and over recently.

Everyone keeps saying that it will get better, but any hope is fading, I don't know if I can recover.

Keep talking about - keep telling us how you are.

When is your next doctors appointment?

Tulip

:hello: Feelinggood,

Hey you will recover as you are a real trooper a real fighter,You can get through this,I know you can,I have absolute faith in you as I do all on here muddling through what problems they have and getting on with the day

Just watched some tv and popped my washing on including bedding and made up my bed for tonight The rest is just drying nicely in the machine now so in a hour or so I can hang them all up to dry overnight so that come Tuesday I can iron them

Have a nice evening everyone


love and light,

Katie xxx

Tulip

Well everyone I am off,Just took washing out as its dried a little and its all hung up to dry

Chat tomorrow

Night! Night!


love and light,

Katie xxx

queensway_boy

Tulip wrote: »

Well everyone I am off,Just took washing out as its dried a little and its all hung up to dry

Chat tomorrow

Night! Night!


love and light,

Katie xxx

Night night Katie

dawnylou

FG - I cannot even think of any words to explain how I feel anymore.
I am sick and tired of thinking of how to word it others when they ask how I am.

In fact to be honest QWB beautiful poem is the best way to put how I feel into words right now. It explains exactly how I feel.

My next docs appointment is next Friday. I am going to check they got my notice to place me on the waiting list to see a psychologist in case it was lost in the post and I have lost my place in the waiting list! Worried me a lot.

I will be back at work after that. Fills me with dread. Most days I can't even hold a conversation with my own mother, let alone sit at work for 8 hours talking to complete strangers about money!!!

Tulip - I know he loves and supports me, but that makes me feel worse in many ways as I feel I don't deserve this unconditional love. I feel I don't deserve anything.
I probably could end it so easily if it wasn't for himself and my parents. They hold me back somewhat as I don't want to hurt them more.

But the big question is - would I hurt them more if I was to end it all now?
Or would I hurt them more if I was to remain?

geminilady

dawnylou wrote: »

FG - I cannot even think of any words to explain how I feel anymore.
I am sick and tired of thinking of how to word it others when they ask how I am.

In fact to be honest QWB beautiful poem is the best way to put how I feel into words right now. It explains exactly how I feel.

My next docs appointment is next Friday. I am going to check they got my notice to place me on the waiting list to see a psychologist in case it was lost in the post and I have lost my place in the waiting list! Worried me a lot.

I will be back at work after that. Fills me with dread. Most days I can't even hold a conversation with my own mother, let alone sit at work for 8 hours talking to complete strangers about money!!!

Tulip - I know he loves and supports me, but that makes me feel worse in many ways as I feel I don't deserve this unconditional love. I feel I don't deserve anything.
I probably could end it so easily if it wasn't for himself and my parents. They hold me back somewhat as I don't want to hurt them more.

But the big question is - would I hurt them more if I was to end it all now?
Or would I hurt them more if I was to remain?

Hi Dawney,I think deep down you know the answer.Of course you would hurt them more by ending it now.Think how you would feel if your partner or one of your parents did it.Think about who would find you and how that would feel finding the one they loved dead.Because you are ill you feel you do not deserve their love and support but you have it and that is a lot more than some people have so draw strength from that thought and do not put them through what is an unimaginable pain.Hang in there till your doctors apointment and if you still feel as bad maybe he will change your medication or increase the dosage.Remember the samaritans are always there at the end of the phone 24 hrs a day if you feel you don't want to talk to your partner or parents.I would not worry too much about work if you feel as bad as this i cannot see any gp advising you to go back at the moment.

rose07

Hi everyone

soz not been around lately

have been fighting for my life . . . . . (will explain all soon)

im struggling atm, and right now im sitting here... i feel very alone...

ever feel like ya just broken?

much love to you all

and a big thanks to all those that keep me in their thoughts atm, means alot

i hope you are all ok

i will try and catch up a little over the next few days, but im not as fast as i used to be, fraid old rosie not too well atm.

take care everyone and much love

xxx