Depression Support Thread

Tiff_2

Hi goldie!:hello:
You get to be the first on the list today.:rolleyes:
How are you this morning angel?
It sounds as though you feel everything's pulling you down hun. I know how rough it can be hun, so let's step back and take a calmer look, ok angel? You know - break it all down into smaller pieces?;) (I've heard that before somewhere!:D )

quote=imported_goldie;
To keep on going when you feel so down you dont want to be here any more to carry on for your childs sake but you then find they are ina tormented state?
The strength is already there sweetheart, it's just hidden behind all the big stuff. You've managed for so long so you are a survivor goldie.

My son has had various problems n the past,only 18 but worrying non stop when he should be having fun.
I don't know what problems he's had in the past angel so I don't know how relevant they are to how he's feeling now.

He came home from work yesterday and said he was really tired so was going to sleep at nine. Just found out he was up till four and had drunk a whole large bottle of vodka. Could cope with my probs as long as he was happy but think he has a tortured mind - how do you find the stength to carry on as right now i just dont want to be here and if it wasnt for my son i wouldnt be./quote
Hopefully the vodka issue is a once in a while thing hun. At least he was responsible enough to go to work still. As long as he wasn't still drunk or driving or using machinery which could be dangerous to himself and others as this is illegal. He has to recognize this responsibility.

Lots of things are jumping out at me from your posts angel so I'm going to put down some points that may help - but as always, there are various kinds of help available through your gp. There are even charities that help young people with mental health issues (eg Young Minds).;)

- Firstly, there's another tip I'd like to share with you goldie, apart from breaking it all down. :rolleyes:
Whenever we feel so overwhelmed, it can really help to grab a pen and paper and make 2 columns. One column is for what you think and the second is for what is actually fact - truth but not emotional thinking. The words think, believe, feel etc. should not appear in the second column.
This will show you in black and white, exactly where you're really standing. And as I also say angel, the factual, practical things have solutions.;)

- Ok hun, dealing with the facts. You recognize that you are feeling very low. Please go and see your dr/mental health team for more help hun. This is the most important thing imho and it will put you in the best position to help both yourself and your son. You have to keep asking until the right help appears. A lot of us with long term depression still need support and there's nothing wrong with that.;)

- Please try and remember that a lot of what you're feeling is the depression talking angel. I'm not belittling what you're saying hun, I'm just saying that depression often makes everything bigger and blacker than it really is.

- You have done so well despite what you say, to have raised your son with all the problems you have hun.:T I'm glad that thoughts of your son are keeping you from doing anything goldie, because this will help for the rest of your life. You want to see him grow and achieve and be happy and see him go through all the stages of his life. Your love doesn't just get cut off when he hits 18. Please try and hold onto that. Who would he have if it wasn't for you angel? :A :T

- Can you tell me when the right time to act on your urges will be? There's never going to be a right time to put yourself, and him, through that trauma.

- Maybe something a bit obvious hun, but he's still a teenager, still learning at 18. Young people do all kinds of silly stuff - that's how they learn - and they don't usually do much more than grunt sometimes as they dread a lecture. If you are seriously worried about the vodka bottle issue, if it's happened before, suggest you go to the gp with him hun, if he doesn't want to go alone.

- I sympathise about the hearing issues angel and I'm sorry that your son has it too. But this does not mean he will inherit everything you have. Do not send yourself on this guilt trip angel. It's just the way it is, sadly. But there are ways around it as I said last time, like writing it all down.

- I don't know if you took my advice about looking into solutions for your hearing loss, but if he sees you doing it, then it may reassure him to know there is help and other options available for him. This might seem like it should be obvious to him, but teenagers are a law unto themselves hun.;)

- Have you spoken to him directly angel and asked him what's upsetting him? Young adults can be moody and temperamental as you know. At least this way, you can hear from him exactly what the problem is, rather than wondering if he's got depression and blaming yourself.

- And even if he does have depression hun, you won't love him any the less. It could be a different kind of depression than yours angel. He needs to see a gp to find out. He may be worrying about work, girlfriends, or something else entirely. If he sees you getting the help you deserve goldie, it'll be a really good role model for him.

- As you know hun, only a dr can diagnose depression so tell him this and let him know that it is so common, even at his age, and that there is help available. This will take the worry off his shoulders hopefully.

- No-one wants depression angel as you know, but it doesn't make you, him or any of us, any less important than anyone else. The important thing is that you work with him gently to get good communications going between you both and hopefully that will help you both to put whatever your demons are to rest somewhat.;)

- Dealing with big problems secretively on your own, is only ever going to make things worse. Ask him to talk to you about any problems he has and remember to stay calm. If you don't know the answer to his problems angel, then reassure him that you can help him find the answers.

I'm sending you huge Tiffy hugs goldie - I know how much you're hurting but everyone here is here for you. :T They're great people hun. You're not on your own and I think that some help from various agencies may make a big difference to you and DS sweetheart.;)
Be kind to yourself and try and relax hun - there are answers for you both.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Not when there's a Tiff about gilly!
Hope you're well angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

ilovegreatdanes

hi all,
am very early today.had a strange moment yesday.felt really melancholy,if thats the word i need??seemed like i was watching myself livig my life.....waiting for it to start, as if its not for real.then realised ive been waiting all my life for something and pretending, as if i have to plod on til something takes me away to start my real life.
it was such a deep momemt and a bit scarey, iykwim.thought i was going mad and thought is this just me or does everyone feel like this?
felt so down after for a long time and wondered if ....is this all there is to my life and was frantically trying to find the point to it all.it wasnt so much a desperate kind of "ill rush for the tabs overdose asap" moment as a "have i just lost all hope that my life will be worthwhile" kind of state of mind.
feels better to write it down and risk your ops.what do you think it means?
is it some kind of message from above to get my act together and make the most of my time left or a symptom of something very worrying?
hope you have some views on this.....think im going mad one minute then am back to normal(whatever that is!)
always tried to think positive as i think it has a huge effect on your life.
please let me know your thoughts, would be very grateful.
kind regards, ilgd xx

EthelBloggs

Morning peeps :hello:

had a bit of a hectic week and it doesn't seem as tho that's going to change in the coming week, soo...... I'll pop in as and when

Hope you're all fine, big huggs xxxx

Skint_Catt

Drs refused to let me back on the Fluxotine. He thinks I should just 'work through it' FOR 6 WEEKS!!! I'm not sure my relationship will survive that long. Besides which I'm highly stressed as I've lost my passport and I REALLY need this holiday Already had one set of tears today, but I'm averaging three a day at the mo

Need a hug someone

C xx

queensway_boy

Skint_Catt wrote: »

Drs refused to let me back on the Fluxotine. He thinks I should just 'work through it' FOR 6 WEEKS!!! I'm not sure my relationship will survive that long. Besides which I'm highly stressed as I've lost my passport and I REALLY need this holiday Already had one set of tears today, but I'm averaging three a day at the mo

Need a hug someone,,,

C xx

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EthelBloggs

mega super duper turbo huggs

big breaths and try to stay calm, have you looked for the passport methodically? I find when I lose something, if I'm panicky I can miss whatever it is I'm looking for cos I'm so wound up.

If you don't find it, I think you can go to the passport office and they'll issue a replacement same day but it'll be expensive :eek:

Meanwhile, have a long soak in a hot bubbly bath and just relax for a while x

Skint_Catt

Thanks QB and Ethel.

I'm at work so the bath is out, and yes I've been a bit slapdash looking for it, but it's in none of the obvious places. They no longer issue a replacement the same day for a lost passport - it will take a min of a week! :eek:

I don't want to be here - I want to be looking for it!!!!

C xx

ilovegreatdanes

sk...try to think back to when you last used it and where you put everything when you came back from hols.i usually keep mine with the birth certs and marriage licence, etc.have you used it for credit checks somewhere(in the bank or shops?)..has it slipped down the back of the cupboard or drawer?
do one room at a time clockwise so you dont miss anywhere.
good luck.....you will find it!!!!! xx

Skint_Catt

Thanks ilovegreatdanes, I've seen it a few weeks ago on the computer desk, but I think I moved it to put it somewhere safe. Trouble is I moved everything out of my bedroom (live with parents) when I decorated a month or two ago, and I still have piles of paper everywhere as I haven't moved back in yet! Argh!