What would you do?

atrixblue.-MFR-.

OK so my wife has wanted to move house now for the past 12 months, were in a HA 3 bed at the moment it has decent garden space and decent front parking, its reasonably quiet yet as its a HA estate everyone is into everyone else's business but that's not bothering me I keep to myself.


Its been a sticking point in our marriage of late with the Wife wanting to be more closer to her sister, im not one for changing routine, I like where I am am comfortable in my home and surroundings.


today got wind of some news that could change the vibe to estate, A well known troublesome family is going to be doing a home swap with our neighbors 2 doors up form our house, they are know for anti social behavior, alcoholism, drugs, all night party's, and police back and forth looking for one member of the family or another.


now having lived through 2 past neighbors at different stages making my life and kids lives a bit of hell, I like to think ive got a thick skin, and I always win in the end using proper channels, wife don't share the same view as me though and hearing the above news about who's moving in 2 doors up has sealed in her mind that she's moving whether I go or not she is not going to stay here.


I'm torn, I have family close by, wife has family close by although wife don't see them, I'm making headway in getting a diagnosis for myself for my mental health issue's in this healthboard area, the area wife wants to move to has just cut all funding and scaled back all mental health services in their health board area, that may hamper with what achievements ive made in this area if I were to move to another healthboard area.


I'm not yet sure I want to move, im not prepared and I would need to sort a few issues in this house first as in I have to put a partition wall back up I took down (with permission), ill have to redecorate every room (although I was going to redecorate room by room from spring into summer anyway).


the houses in the street she wants to move to are smaller in terms of room sizes garden kitchen but living room are larger due to layout. theres parking issues as its on street and very narrow, and it is private rent as apposed to HA, incurring me £55,00 per month extra in rent I have to pay plus £40.00 per month council tax extra.


My wife thinks it unfair that im not prepared to move, she described what trouble could be a foot for us in terms of who's moving in. I'm not phased by it, but obviously kids would be.


what would you guys do here. would you upsticks and move even if financially you couldn't afford to? or would you stand ground and go through the whole trouble of going through proper channels again.

Morglin

The family from hell wouldn't drive me out, as there are various ways to contain all that sort of thing, but, as your wife wants to move anyway, you need to sit with her and work out the pro's and cons of moving home.

The other thing is that it may not be advisable to give up social housing for a private let - you won't have the same security of tenure and some private landlords are dreadful..

If you decide to move, a mutual exchange, to another HA home, will always be the best option.

Lin

Alikay

It's not just the low rent you'd be giving up by moving into private rented accommodation: You'd lose your secure tenancy, and could end up needing to move frequently with the landlord only giving you the statutory notice required. Might end up problematic with children and schooling.

Have you looked at doing an exchange through your HA?

19lottie82

If your wife really wants to move, then I would consider it, BUT you definitely should not give up your council house, and secure tenancy, for a private rent. No way.

Also, re the possible nightmare new neighbours, wait and see what happens there, if they do move in, they might not be as badly behaved as you think. Only time will tell.

How old are your kids? Are they happy in school at the moment? It's not really fair to disrupt them just so your wife can be closer to her sister.

How far away is your wife's sister?
Does your family have a car? Can your wife drive? If the answer to either of these is a "no", would your wife getting a car be a compromise (if affordable)? Then your wife would find it a lot easier to visit her.

pukkamum

I would contact the housing officer re the family thag are moving in, exchanges have to be okayed by them and if they are truky as bad as that a few concerned enquiries by people living on your street may make them reconsider.
I would never give up a ha tenancy for a private rent its a really bad move.
Also if they do end up on the street causing trouble make sure you complain to your housing officer and encourage your neighbours to do the same.

KxMx

Home swaps don't always work out.

And we were facing the prospect of our already noisy neighbours (2 adults & 4 boys in 3 bed semi) having a baby when we were told she was pregnant from a family member of hers.... didn't happen in the end for whatever reason.

I think your wife is using the troublesome family as an excuse if i'm honest.

Person_one

You can get nightmare neighbours anywhere, but its much easier to deal with them if they're in a HA property.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

the family in question doesn't "get on" with wifes family there have been many clashes in the past between the two families not the fault of my wife she wasn't involved but when they see relatives of wifes family theres usually fisticuffs smashed windows etc they target the family as a whole rather than certain indeviduals. so can see its going to be more than just having to deal with some ASB.


im in the stay where I am camp and deal with they throw at us, but my wife has had enough here, and this news today (which has been confirmed they are swapping as it was approved by HA yesterday we spoke with 2 doors up and pretty much confirmed the family is getting ready to swap with them and HA approved the paperwork its a matter of signing dotted lines) has set her mind in concrete.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

19lottie82 wrote: »

If your wife really wants to move, then I would consider it, BUT you definitely should not give up your council house, and secure tenancy, for a private rent. No way.

Also, re the possible nightmare new neighbours, wait and see what happens there, if they do move in, they might not be as badly behaved as you think. Only time will tell.

How old are your kids? Are they happy in school at the moment? It's not really fair to disrupt them just so your wife can be closer to her sister.

How far away is your wife's sister?
Does your family have a car? Can your wife drive? If the answer to either of these is a "no", would your wife getting a car be a compromise (if affordable)? Then your wife would find it a lot easier to visit her.

the kids are 9 and 6 yrs, they are not happy in school at present because the school doesn't want to recognize my daughters ADHD and has put block in our way to get her extra help.


her sister currently live 15 miles away we regularly see them on weekends and school holidays (I drive and have a car).


if we were to move it would only 4 doors down from her (same landlord), I would have to check if the school 600 yards away would have room to take out children or it would be a 8 mile round trip to the nearest primary school and back everyday.

Gigervamp

Whilst you may have a thick skin, if this family has a habit of targeting anyone from your wife's family, it's going to get extremely unpleasant for your wife and kids.

I think I'd give it a few months to see how things go, but keep an eye out for a HA house swap to a different street. That way, you'll still be in the same healthboard area for yourself, and your wife wouldn't have to worry about the family from hell. As others have said, giving up your secure tenancy should be avoided at all costs. Renting privately nowadays is a nightmare and there is no security. You could end up having to move every 6 months.

Errata

Ask your wife if she'll be happy to have to move every six months, possibly to a private rental next door to some neighbours from hell.